I feel as if my heart is breaking, the tears are flowing. Phil was sectioned yesterday after bout of violence, for my safety he has been sectioned. He looked so lost and afraid, I feel so guilty leaving him there, I have been told I need to be prepared that he may not come home to me.
I thought he would be assessed at home and then asked to take him to the assessment unit in a few days, but yesterday it all happened and we were at the hospital before I drew breath. My daughter in law came this morning, (son is away for work, and daughter lives 300 miles away) and comforted me, bless her, but I am alone again now, how can a house feel so empty, there are so many things I should be doing, bt I cant find the energy/ or cant be bothered, nothing seems worth it now. Cant concentrate on anything.
I rang this morning, he had a bad night and is trying to get out so I wont go in today it will only make him worse, I need to let him settle for a couple of days, I dont know if I am doing the right thing, I know it will upset him if I go in, but it feels wrong to leave him. Oh god why cant they cure this awful disease. I know he is in the best place, and will get the care he needs, but its not helping.
I wish my daughter wasnt so far away.
Oh Mabbs it's like listening to my life, my husband just avoided being sectioned after a violent outburst & being brought home from the day centre, l have just come back from the hospital where he does recognise me initially but then it goes, all bed clothes were off his bed, he says he was making it, I like you am riddled with guilt, l am broken hearted and like you l know he is in the best place but after 48 years it's so hard, he was such a gentle man but now he is so agressive, my daughter & son are closer than your daughter but I still feel so lonely & l do know just how you feel, love n hugs xxxx