Mabbs, I think you are doing so well at this difficult time.
I am so pleased that Phil was contented today and liked his new friend Spike 2. That is so good. I'll look forward to seeing your photo.
I admit, that when I knew Roger was in care permanently I had some changes made to the house, the things we had planned to do together, but I made our home my own. That somehow helped me to accept that this is now my home.
I sorted out many things in the house, but some were too sensitive to move out. Now Roger has passed away, I am at the next stage of sorting out, but there are some things that I need to keep, although it is still early days for me.
Sorry, I've gone off at a tangent, rambling on about myself. Try to set yourself one thing to achieve each day.
Thinking of you. x
Phil looks contented with his dog in the picture. Not long now till Phil gets his scan and they can ajust his meds and if you can keep yourself busy time will pass quicker for you. Remember to make time and treat yourself to a massage or something to help with the stress. Or coffee and cake at your favourite cafe.
Spike maybe has decided to been good at the vets because he knows Mum's having a hard time just now.
Take care. x
You could be right about Spike, he is being a really loving little lad, follows me about, probably worried I might leave him as well, we comfort each other, would be very lonely without him.
Keeping busy is working, it helps the day pass, and helps tire me out, so I sleep better, I am hoping the scan shows something to help. One day at a time.xxx
Oh Mabbs. I have just found your thread. I have also just had to put my husband into emergency respite due to violence. I took the first two incidents as part of the disease, but when he grabbed me around the throat, things had to be done. It was all done in just over two hours, leaving me in a state of shock, similar to you. I was fortunate that Lex was at daycare that day, and the lovely carers offered to take him into the Care Home, rather than me, so that I would not be seen as the big bad ogre who left him there. I have been advised not to visit for 5 days, and boy, is it a long five days!!! Like you, I can't believe how quiet and empty the house is. I can even here the clock tick! As much as I used to long to watch my favourite TV program without having to pause it whilst he had some rant or other, I would do anything for him to be here. I phone to check on him daily, and the staff seem so lovely. Apparently yesterday he demolished a lock on a cupboard thinking it was an outside door, and he has been prescribed some new medication. He is being re-assessed next week, so I will have a clearer picture of his future next week hopefully. In the meantime, I also cannot bring myself to have a tidy-up/clear-out, as there is that small hope he will come home, but in my heart of hearts I know that this won't happen, and that he is in the best place.
Hugs to you and your family XOX
It's early days for you both. And I know some couldn't think of decluttering and reorganising the home when their husband has gone into full time care. I felt differently. Apart from the fact that it HAD to be done, as William was a chronic hoarder and I had to clear the living room to find the food he had hidden in bookshelves etc anyway, I knew he wouldn't be home again. I knew it in my head. And I felt it would sort of help me accept the new phase of our lives if I cleared out and made the house more "my" home, but there are still reminders of him here. Also, I decided that as this clear out and redecorating would surely have to be done sooner or later, I'd find it a lot easier to do it now when I still had William to visit, than after his death, when clearing out stuff would seem much more final. Just my thoughts.
Oh Mabbs. I have just found your thread. I have also just had to put my husband into emergency respite due to violence. I took the first two incidents as part of the disease, but when he grabbed me around the throat, things had to be done. It was all done in just over two hours, leaving me in a state of shock, similar to you. I was fortunate that Lex was at daycare that day, and the lovely carers offered to take him into the Care Home, rather than me, so that I would not be seen as the big bad ogre who left him there. I have been advised not to visit for 5 days, and boy, is it a long five days!!! Like you, I can't believe how quiet and empty the house is. I can even here the clock tick! As much as I used to long to watch my favourite TV program without having to pause it whilst he had some rant or other, I would do anything for him to be here. I phone to check on him daily, and the staff seem so lovely. Apparently yesterday he demolished a lock on a cupboard thinking it was an outside door, and he has been prescribed some new medication. He is being re-assessed next week, so I will have a clearer picture of his future next week hopefully. In the meantime, I also cannot bring myself to have a tidy-up/clear-out, as there is that small hope he will come home, but in my heart of hearts I know that this won't happen, and that he is in the best place.
Hugs to you and your family XOX
Mabbs - fully understand your swinging emotions. Here am I at 5 in the morning - leaving soon for a Memorial Service in London for an old school friend of my husband which I feel I must attend - dog with a friend for the night and what have I done - cried almost continuously all night even though I had a good day in the garden yesterday. I do so understand your hopes and longing to have your husband home again but try to reason what would really be best for both of you at this stage.
Loving thoughts WIFE