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heart breaking feel so alone

truth24

Registered User
Oct 13, 2013
5,725
North Somerset
Thinking of you mabbs. You are in shock and grieving for what is lost. Hopefully medication might stabilise your husband and he may either return home or, with time, settle so that your visits are pleasant, as mine are now. Don't expect miracles, it takes a while, but hopefully something can be done to help the violence. Do take care of yourself and take comfort from your lovely DIL. Best wishes.
 

MabbsDaughter

Registered User
Apr 30, 2015
6
Surrey
I feel as if my heart is breaking, the tears are flowing. Phil was sectioned yesterday after bout of violence, for my safety he has been sectioned. He looked so lost and afraid, I feel so guilty leaving him there, I have been told I need to be prepared that he may not come home to me.

I thought he would be assessed at home and then asked to take him to the assessment unit in a few days, but yesterday it all happened and we were at the hospital before I drew breath. My daughter in law came this morning, (son is away for work, and daughter lives 300 miles away) and comforted me, bless her, but I am alone again now, how can a house feel so empty, there are so many things I should be doing, bt I cant find the energy/ or cant be bothered, nothing seems worth it now. Cant concentrate on anything.

I rang this morning, he had a bad night and is trying to get out so I wont go in today it will only make him worse, I need to let him settle for a couple of days, I dont know if I am doing the right thing, I know it will upset him if I go in, but it feels wrong to leave him. Oh god why cant they cure this awful disease. I know he is in the best place, and will get the care he needs, but its not helping.

I wish my daughter wasnt so far away.
Mum, you are never alone. I know I am hundreds of miles away but I am there with you. I am crying those same tears with you. I will arrange to come in a couple of weeks. You may have to put up with my nutty puppy for a couple of days. Dad is in the right place and will get the help he needs. I know the guilt of leaving him there is eating away at you but please know that this needed to happen and you shouldn't feel guilty. The call we got that he had hit you hurt me more than the call to say he has gone in for assessment. Please do something for you for a change! I love you Mum xxx
 

CollegeGirl

Registered User
Jan 19, 2011
9,524
North East England
Mabbs and Mabbsdaughter, I am so sorry for you in this dreadful situation. Sending you both lots of love and support. You will get through this, and maybe when you come out the other side things will actually be better. Here's hoping.

xx
 

WIFE

Registered User
May 23, 2014
856
WEST SUSSEX
Mabbs and Mabbsdaughter - thank goodness you have one another even if separated by distance. Just so hoping things settle down for all of you, especially Phiil and that you all get the help so desperately needed by so many. Try to stay strong for what lies ahead. I will be thinking of you all. WIFE
 

NanLorac

Registered User
May 14, 2012
686
Scotland
Mabbs and Mabbsdaughter, I hope he settles down and you can visit soon. Be good to yourself Mabbs you know in your heart he is in the best place for now. Take care x
 

mabbs

Registered User
Dec 1, 2014
238
Lancashire
thank you again all of you who replied, I went to see Phil this morning and he is on medication now, he was calm, and smiling, he looked well, and that's made me feel so much better. The house is empty without him, but at least he seems more settled. :)
 

jan.s

Registered User
Sep 20, 2011
7,353
68
I have been thinking about you Mabbs. I am so pleased that you have now seen him and that he is calm and happy.

The house will be quiet and empty, but he is in the right place at the moment.

Your daughter will be relieved to hear this too. She clearly cares about you both.

Try to do something for yourself that you haven't been able to do for a while while your husband was at home, even if it's only sleep!!

Sending hugs. J x
 

mabbs

Registered User
Dec 1, 2014
238
Lancashire
I have been thinking about you Mabbs. I am so pleased that you have now seen him and that he is calm and happy.

The house will be quiet and empty, but he is in the right place at the moment.

Your daughter will be relieved to hear this too. She clearly cares about you both.

Try to do something for yourself that you haven't been able to do for a while while your husband was at home, even if it's only sleep!!

Sending hugs. J x
I slept quite well last night, so hoping it will continue. Treated myself to a bunch of flowers today to help cheer me up.
 

jan.s

Registered User
Sep 20, 2011
7,353
68
I slept quite well last night, so hoping it will continue. Treated myself to a bunch of flowers today to help cheer me up.
Good for you. Anything like me, I was so exhausted, I slept well. Flowers are a brilliant idea too. Enjoy them :) x
 

NanLorac

Registered User
May 14, 2012
686
Scotland
So glad you slept well last night after seeing Phil in hospital. I hope he continues to improve while he is in hospital. Be good to yourself Mabbs and take care. Carol x
 

jan.s

Registered User
Sep 20, 2011
7,353
68
Good morning Mabbs. I hope you slept last night and are ready for another day. I hope it's a good one today. Thinking of you. Jan x
 

mabbs

Registered User
Dec 1, 2014
238
Lancashire
good nights sleep last night, even if I did have a small dog on the bed with me, we give each other comfort, he is missing his Dad too. Son is coming to visit with me today, fingers crossed for a good visit. Got a hair appointment booked for Wednesday, badly need a cut, something I havent been able to do for 6 months or more, but I will be able to relax and enjoy the experience this time, rather than be in a hell of a rush to get back.

I will post again later and let you all know how the visit went. x
 

WIFE

Registered User
May 23, 2014
856
WEST SUSSEX
Hope you find Phil calm and peaceful when you visit today, Mabbs. The house will feel quiet but you will get used to it eventually if Phil remains in care. Keep strong and hopeful - all we can do. Loving thoughts WIFE
 

jan.s

Registered User
Sep 20, 2011
7,353
68
I hope your visit is good today and you find Phil settled and comfortable. It must be a relief for him too, not to feel so agitated all the time.

Another good night's sleep is good, and I'm glad you are slowly starting to think about yourself. Enjoy "your" time and it really will help. J x
 

marmarlade

Registered User
Jan 26, 2015
183
my hubby has been gone into care for 4 months now and i still feel so alone the tears are never very far away, the house dont feel like a home and to sit down to a meal on your own is awful you go on with life but its so empty. no-one to walk beside you when you go shopping and no-one to say is it time for a cuppa ,but the days do get better, all of us on here know this horrible feeling, but when you can visit it will help you to see it was the right thing to do and you will probably feel quilty for whats going on because by this time we are all worn down but hope you soon will feel stronger
 

mabbs

Registered User
Dec 1, 2014
238
Lancashire
Phil didnt seem to know David or me when we first went in, he is still lovely and calm, but looks a bit confused, he had a laugh at Davids description of his little dog and the new rabbitt. We only stayed about 25 mins and left as it was lunch time, and Phil sat at the table and got ready for his lunch, so a nice easy exit. He wasnt as smiley as yesterday, but he seems reasonably happy, thank goodness x
 

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