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Goodbye and Hello

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,487
0
South East
Maybe you are right @Starting on a journey , she gets up about 8am , if we aren’t doing much she will nap during the afternoon sometimes , she is normally in bed by 9pm , she too goes to her bed for naps . I worry that she sits in her chair for too long as she is very overweight and is only 72 , her ankles swell a bit so when she sits she always has her feet up . DC nicely spaced out but then Mary comes in between and I notice that seems too much , if I don’t have Mary often she will leave but when I mentioned dropping a day at club she don’t on my account in case I get another job so have been just plodding along , it is too much for mum I agree but I am stuck.
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
629
0
It is probably cause and effect; carrying extra weight will make mum tired but if she doesn’t move it will encourage weight gain, let alone the dementia aspect. So very difficult for you all.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,000
0
Bedford
So pleased that situation between daughter and your Mum continues to improve. Thanks for asking @Woo2. We are muddling through the lockdown like most. OH did his back in getting me crates out of the loft to clear Mum’s bungalow and then he got phone calls out of blue from Hospital consultants saying he wants to some more test and then probably remove his gall bladder.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,487
0
South East
Oh @Bikerbeth , poor OH ,I’m sorry he hurt his back , and that he may need an op soon . Hope he is feeling better soon and will be on the road to full fitness and you can get off on some new adventures once it’s possible 🤞🤗 take care .
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,000
0
Bedford
How is it going for you and your Mum @Woo2. I hope all is chugging along calmly. Did you manage to make any potential decisions regarding Care Homes even if it is not time yet?
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,487
0
South East
Mum has been strange the last couple of weeks , hard to explain but she has been sleeping later and we have been late for DC every single time , but on the other 5 days a week she gets up earlier except weekends when I would like to lie in she gets up early, she has def been far more confused , toilet accidents are becoming more frequent , she is happy though but will not engage with anything I suggest ,colouring , a walk, crossword etc , no shower in over a week , just says no , tom I will just put her towel in bathroom and switch shower on and say it’s ready . I got up at 5am thurs morning and found another bloody toilet paper on side of bath , not as much as last time but I called Gp and asked specifically for our usual one , he was great ,told him previous time I called they wanted to do an internal examination of it occurred again , he agreed with me that It wasn’t the best course of action , he thinks mum doesn’t have a uti as she has no other symptoms , told him I had checked her urine but that I wanted him to check it as well so did a sample and dropped it in on Friday and there has been no phone call so I presume it was clear , he didn’t want to give her AB’s unless necessary . He has requested an ultrasound scan of her kidneys and Ladies organs just to make sure their is nothing sinister going on , this will be done in the community so I won’t have to take her to the local hospital . She has had lots of gynae issues , hysterectomy , front and rear repairs (prolapse ) so he is thinking it could be her insides shedding skin /cells etc due to age/wear n tear . We shall hopefully know more soon . She is going to bed much earlier , straight after dinner sometimes , went about 6pm tonight . She is happy though , staring in to space a lot . Mary came today and they were laughing quite a lot . Her DC called yesterday to say 2 members of staff are isolating after possibly being in contact with someone testing positive , they will update further when they know . Haven’t spoken to CH recently , maybe I should call them , one on my list that I arranged a video tour of is being knocked down and rebuilt so that could be a good option , it is a 2 min drive or 10 min walk from ours , there has been no response from them ,i have tried to call but no answer , guessing there will be a waiting list but I will keep trying . We are just taking a day at a time at the moment but know we have 2/3 homes that we like , name is down for 2 out of the three .
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,000
0
Bedford
I know my Mum noticeably started to go bed earlier and earlier. She was always nearly midnight for most of life and then up about 6.30am but as time went on she would usually watch the news at 6pm andd then go to bed straight afterwards and often sleep through until 8.30am. I guess the brain need more recovery time.
Happy however is good :)
sorry to hear you Mum has other health issues again but good if it can be checked out locally. I hope it is something easily fixable.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,487
0
South East
I agree , when mum is more confused she will take herself off to bed . Today she got up 8am ish , she went back to bed at 4pm while I was making a coffee , got up at 6.30pm , asked for coffee and cheese on toast , drank coffee but had one quarter of the toast and said couldn’t eat any more and promptly went back to bed . Gp confirmed urine clear , seems wrong to say I am disappointed but if it was a uti at least I would know what’s causing this decline , we are having several urine accidents , I am thinking should I give her pull ups but worry if I do will she start forgetting to go. She is walking knock kneed to bathroom , not sure is she is not getting the signal early enough or forgetting where to go. It’s a dilemma, shall ponder a bit longer and keep weighing it up . Hopefully the scan app won’t be too much longer .
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,000
0
Bedford
I am afraid I have no experience it’s regards to switching to pull ups. If the scan does not provide any information as to where the issue is maybe you could do a separate post on here and see feedback on the time to switch.
I hope you are being kind to yourself too - maybe even going out for a few walks with that dog of yours occasionally.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,487
0
South East
Thanks @Bikerbeth , haven’t got out with pooch much sadly , mum is much more needy at the moment , wandering a lot and just generally not herself so not wanted to leave her unless Mary here . We are all isolating from next week so no Mary or DC , Mary back after Christmas and DC early Jan . Had a phone call at 4pm , they have a cancellation for scan tom am , have to make sure Mum has a full bladder 🤨 I sincerely hope they have toilets there . She said only Mum allowed in and wearing mask , I explained that she would not understand so she said it’s fine for me to accompany Mum , the Dr there is more lenient . I have decided to say nothing tonight but to wake her and get her ready and be truthful and say it’s to check out the bleeding, hope that’s the right thing . Last night she came out of room and said to hubby there were things all over her ceiling and walls , he went to check and said Whatever it was had gone now , she seemed settled but he woke me to check. I handled it wrong really and said there’s nothing here now , maybe they have walked off to another room , I should of said ok I will remove them for you. She had said this before in the past . With this and the more frequent toilet accidents it feels like we are entering a new phase . I have narrowed down homes to 2 now and will contact them again after Christmas . Feel pretty guilty knowing what’s to come but there is a limit to what I can do, Mum will soon need more than I can give , it will be what’s best for her .
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
3,050
0
Hope the scan goes well. It amazes me that hospitals still don't get that not all elderly people are fine going for test etc without someone there. Even when mum was still fairly together she really needed someone there to explain, remind and discuss what doctors said. If not she got carried away about how she thought they fancied her. We had loads about how the doctor asked her to take her knickers down, and nothing about what he said about anything else!
Glad you are edging towards a care home decision. Tough though it is, I think it is the best choice for all of you. Not sure why you are all isolating, is that so you can enjoy Christmas with another household? I haven't yet had the courage to tell my brother we aren't going to his place for the holiday as it seems a very bad idea all round.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,918
0
Yorkshire
Don't feel guilty @Woo2 you are doing your best for your mum just as you always have 🤗
I think thats a good idea about tomorrows appointment, I used similar approach with mum, just get her up and then tell her a simple explanation of where going with enough time to get her there and not long to worry and fret about it. I'm glad you've not had to wait too long for scan appointment. Fingers crossed its something simple 🤞
Hope you all have a settled night tonight, hope your mum doesn't spot anything on her walls and ceilings again,🤞🤗
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,487
0
South East
Thank you both :) , we are isolating as having in laws over at Xmas we have stayed away from them this long but cases are rising dramatically in our area, received a text from local authority yesterday asking us all to go for a lateral flow test if asymptomatic as they are wanting to find the sources , it’s more to protect Fil. Hope it goes smoothly , was surprised it was so quick but glad to get it out the way , time will tell . She doesn’t seem to have had any more episodes for about 10 days now .
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,487
0
South East
Well It hasn’t gone to plan today ! Mum was wandering around early hours and at 8am, made her a tea but she went back to room and is still there snoring very loudly , have tried waking her several times but no joy so I have had to cancel scan :confused: will book another one for afternoon . All the best plans and all that .
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,918
0
Yorkshire
oh heck, what a shame. Sods flipping law isn't it. If you'd wanted a lie in you can bet your mum would have been up and ready. Hope you don't have to wait long for another one. Mornings were better for my mum for appointments as she was more confused in afternoons but they were also hard to get her up and out the door for as she was quite slow to get going first thing. Mid day was the perfect time but often not available. Sorry you've got yourself all prepared and then not been able to go and have to try again another time 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,487
0
South East
Yep you know @annielou 🤨 Tom she will be up at the crack of dawn . Whenever we have plans she sleeps in and she doesn’t even know as I don’t tell her , she must be psychic ! They are running behind as well so we would of been hanging around so maybe it’s for the best, going to be busy on roads with Xmas shoppers too so might be a blessing . Mid morning usually much better for us , afternoon not great either .
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
810
0
Hi @Woo2 I hope you get a time that suits sorted for your scan. The hospital should allow you to accompany someone with dementia, it will make it easier for them too.
Please don't feel guilty about getting closer to a decision about a care home, you are doing what is best for your mum. I hope your isolating goes ok and you enjoy Christmas.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,487
0
South East
Well I have just managed to get through to organise scan again and it’s after Xmas but only time is 3.30pm prime sundowning time :confused: No issues with more bleeding luckily . She is having lots of urine accidents now , have got more leak proof undies , mostly happens late afternoon /evening and early hours . Toying with giving her pull ups but worried it will stop her going to toilet if she knows she can do it on them , decisions decisions . She is wandering a lot during the mornings too. Urine sample was good apparently , well hydrated and no issues .I’m pretty confident as is dr that the occasional bleed is uterus shedding due to age and wear and tear. After scan results I might speak to Gp again re wandering , no point contacting CMHT that’s for sure !