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Goodbye and Hello

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,394
0
South East
Thanks @anxious annie , good to hear your mum has her injection , I am hopeful better times aren’t too far away . Lots of my daff’s are already about 3” tall , can’t wait to see them and the crocus and snowdrops :)
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,801
0
Bedford
Our crocus and snowdrops are still hiding. However on the positive side my package from RHS came yesterday with various items for planting.
On the other good news Mum gets her vaccinations on Friday. All residents are having but seems like some staff are not. (To be honest I hope the staff opting out are for valid reasons)
Just reminding the Care Home you are still interested is a good thing to do even if you are not ready yet and hopefully their care is so good that you will have to wait anyway! (Hope that makes sense)
@Sarasa glad to see the house move plans are coming along.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,394
0
South East
Brilliant news Mum getting her injections 👍 Why would anyone not want it ? What reasons are there to not have it except allergies ? I will call homes again later when Mary is here . Had a tricky early evening last night and when hubby came in amidst it all he said “make them calls tom “ .
We have an RHS garden near us that I took mum to quite a lot , I have been ordering all my seeds from a manufacturer T & M , hope that’s not too much info but they are really good . I hadn’t thought of RHS ,thanks @Bikerbeth I will look at their’s .
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
2,538
0
Good luck with phoning the homes @Woo2 I know you would prefer to wait until your mum has the vaccines, but as @Bikerbeth says if they are a good home you may have a bit of a delay to her moving anyway. I'm assuming the home could organise the second dose if she's already had the first. If your husband thinks its time, then maybe it is.
I try to garden organically so I get most of my stuff from an organic company. They have loads of lovely stuff in their catalogue but I've not really had the space the last eight years to order anything. Can't wait to get move and get buying.
Hope you get some 'me' time when Mary is there, and get time o do something fun as well as useful.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,394
0
South East
That is a good point @Sarasa , I guess I am struggling with realising I cant provide her with what she needs now and breaking that promise to my dad. I will def call them today . The one I liked had vacancies so wouldn’t put name on list as such , she said ring back when I am ready . The other one I will call again and put name down and the third I need to make contact with as only drove past last week as hubby mentioned it and I wasn’t even aware of it .
You will be moving in at a good time to be able to get going with your new garden . Exciting times.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,801
0
Bedford
The thought behind your promise I am guessing was to give your Mum the best care to meet her needs. Her needs are changing and I am sure your Dad would also want the best for both of you.
I hope the phone calls are going as well as they can 🤗🤗🤗🤗
RHS prices seemed near enough comparable to others places I looked which is why I went for them.
Our neighbour owns a couple of horses so we pop along to her field every so often to get some good fertiliser! It was also probably beginners luck but I mixed my onions in with other veg and fruit on the basis that they are meant to keep the bugs away. It worked to an extent. Not quite sure I am capable of going ‘organic’ yet @Sarasa but I am trying my best.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,394
0
South East
Mary hasn’t come today due to weather so will ring tom . Have missed a call whilst showering Mum from National Vaccine hotline , hoping they ring back soon . You are probably right about dad , he was so adamant though he didn’t want her in a home, his friends said recently though that I still have a life to lead and I must do that as that is what mum would want.
Ah we have put horse manure on our plot too . The onions seemed to protect our salad plants , had a big problem with brassica so we are def netting this year .
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,914
0
Yorkshire
I really don't think your dad would hold it against you if your mum went into a care home. I think most people say not to, but I don't think he would have managed as long himself as you have looking after her and I don't think he would have known how things were going to go and expect you to still keep coping by yourself. I think if he wanted what was best for your mum he'd accept that its not what people want but its what they need. You aren't being selfish if your mum moves into a care home, it's not so you don't have to do the caring, though it's blooming hard work looking after someone 24 hrs a day and you do deserve a life so it is reason enough, but it's not just that reason, your mum like a lot of people with dementia gets to a stage where she needs more people to help her and a different environment too. I'm sure your dad felt a sense of duty to look after your mum and like a lot of people didn't like the idea of a care home. But he must have loved your mum and you a lot by the sounds of it and if he was a lovely as he sounds, I'm sure he would have changed his mind about what he said before now and that he would have agreed to a care home being in your mums best interests and also yours and your families. When you do make that decision please do it without feeling guilty for what your dad said a long time ago, it doesn't mean it's what he would say now or when you decide. He should and would trust your judgement I'm sure. 🤗 🤗
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,394
0
South East
Thank you so much @annielou , you raise very good points , he wanted what was best for her , he had just tentatively agreed for me to enquirer about day centre before he died , he was find it increasingly hard. I know I will have to break the promise , and I am getting there now with some gentle nudging from hubby .