For Better or Worse Advertising Campaign

[Chizz]

I've made the heartbreaking decision that I can no longer care for my OH at home. We've been together 42 years. I've just seen the advert, it's made me feel even worse. Perhaps I'm more sensitive because of my situation but I too feel it's message is, you should look after your partner until they die because that's what you promised to do. I'm now in tears

Dear @vivian t - don't beat yourself up for having decided that a care home is the better option for your OH, bearing in mind your own mental and physical health, and that you should have a life as well. There would be no worthwhile point in you continuing to care for your OH if that meant you became a patient as well.
You've done your best, but that shouldn't make you feel guilty for now doing what you see as the better option for your OH. You're doing this out of love.
The advert appears to pray on the "until death do us part" when I feel that's wrong medically.
Best wishes to you and a virtual hug.

 

[phreeda]

My husbands heartbreaking response to that awful advert was"is that like me?" Doesn't help his self-esteem.

 

[Chizz]

My husbands heartbreaking response to that awful advert was"is that like me?" Doesn't help his self-esteem.

Hi @phreeda
Yes, sympathies to you and your OH.
I'm not defending the advert, but I think the advert's intended target is those that are not suffering dementia nor carers.

 

[Lawson58]

Hi @phreeda
Yes, sympathies to you and your OH.
I'm not defending the advert, but I think the advert's intended target is those that are not suffering dementia nor carers.

But everyone sees it! PWD, carers and their families. You can’t pick and choose who sees it.

And I think the advertisement still sugarcoats dementia and the caring role. After all, there are lots of people watching it who are the future carers of the next dementia generation and have no idea of how dementia can destroy relationships as well as the love that they once had for each other.

 

[Grannie G]

My husbands heartbreaking response to that awful advert was"is that like me?" Doesn't help his self-esteem.

I find myself feeling tense and upset for all people with dementia when I watch any awareness programme or commercial. I find the orange one is particularly brutal but how is the message broadcast to those who do not know or do not want to know?

 

[Banjomansmate]

I wonder if the members of Talking Point (or whatever it’s new title) are receiving the advert in the wrong way because I think it is SUPPOSED to be saying that the Alzheimer’s Society is still there to support sufferers and carers no matter what. Unfortunately it doesn’t come across in that way, it just seems to those working their way through this nightmare that we should be there supporting our loved ones no matter what is thrown at us. The ad. doesn’t actually show any concrete ways in which AS gives support, especially to those carers doing their best dealing with difficult situations caused by their loved one’s dementia.
Perhaps it should really show someone calling the helpline and receiving advice or even using Talking Point and realising they are not alone in the problems they are facing?
Yes, it discreetly highlights some of the distressing issues both sufferers and carers have to deal with but unless you’ve come face to face with them you’re unlikely to identify them from the film and I cannot see it bringing in any extra revenue to the Society, which is what I assume it is all about.

 

[SAP]

Reading through all the comments, it appears that what ever this campaign ad was meant to achieve, it has missed the mark. This begs the question of how much money it cost and what experience the marketing company who produced it have of dementia and carers. I don’t think it would encourage me to put my hand in my pocket to make a donation ( although I do this already but for other reasons) and as may have said it doesn’t really raise awareness of the reality behind our lives.

 

[try again]

Perhaps the society should be pointed to this thread and read the comments. Do they consult anyone who has actually experienced this devastating illness about these adverts or is it just left to an 20 year old advertising executive with no experience. This advert seems to have upset PWDs and carers, I hope it fill the coffers at least. Maybe they should ask us to review advertising first so they don't at least offend the people that they are ultimately trying to help?
I think the idea of referring to this forum (whatever it's called now) and the help line are good.
As far as funding future research, I am sure there are better ways of doing it

 

[jennifer1967]

i think future advert campaigns should be aired on here[name changed as worked as well, not as most dont know the new name] brainstorm it, do the leg work, do a series of them to show different aspects. share perspectives of those that have dementia, and i think that the most important is being aware.

 

[nitram]

i think future advert campaigns should be aired on here[name changed as worked as well, not as most dont know the new name]

The URL https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/ should not change.
Short cuts will still work and should be renamed for tidiness

 

[vivian t]

Dear @vivian t - don't beat yourself up for having decided that a care home is the better option for your OH, bearing in mind your own mental and physical health, and that you should have a life as well. There would be no worthwhile point in you continuing to care for your OH if that meant you became a patient as well.
You've done your best, but that shouldn't make you feel guilty for now doing what you see as the better option for your OH. You're doing this out of love.
The advert appears to pray on the "until death do us part" when I feel that's wrong medically.
Best wishes to you and a virtual hug.

Thanks, I know I'm struggling but the thought keeps popping into my head - am I just doing this so I can go to the theatre and my granddaughter can come for sleepovers again? The dementia nurse said it means I can go back to being his wife instead of his carer, so I'm trying to hold onto that.

 

[kawarider]

What are other users views on the new Alzheimer/Dementia Advertising Campaign?

Whilst I think it will raise awareness, My other half is notably upset by the Ad's. She sees and seems to understand. She was a carer in the community with a private health care company and has nursed many Dementia, Alzheimer's, MND, MS suffers. I am sure she gets anxious when she has down turns in her own condition and these ad's trigger anxiety attacks and upset her.

 

[vivian t]

There`s no `should` about it @vivian t

We look after our partners for as long as we are able, with the best will in the world.

Sometimes we find we are unable to meet their needs for whatever reason. My husband was losing his mobility and still trying to go walkabout which put him at risk. At the same time he didn't`t recognise me which is why he kept trying to get out to find his real wife. I found it unable to manage and monitor his behaviour , his needs and his safety.

It was with a deep feeing of regret and grief I made the painful decision that residential care was the only option and he was so much better in residential care I wish I had realised it earlier.

For better or worse was always in the back of my mind but also in his best interests, which at the time was residential care.

We had been married for 46 years when my husband went into residential care. We had our Golden Wedding in the care home. He hadn't`t been abandoned. I visited every alternate day and our son visited at the weekend. He was more contented and peaceful in the home than he'd been for a long time and our final years together, with the help of the home, were the best we had had for years.

Thank you. That's lovely to hear. The only thing he says that makes sense is that he loves me. We will see what the future brings

 

[vivian t]

dont feel bad. that advert uses the marriage vows and really thats not fair for anyone that is caring for partner/husband/wife. you should feel good that you manged this long.

Thank you x

 

[vivian t]

Whilst I think it will raise awareness, My other half is notably upset by the Ad's. She sees and seems to understand. She was a carer in the community with a private health care company and has nursed many Dementia, Alzheimer's, MND, MS suffers. I am sure she gets anxious when she has down turns in her own condition and these ad's trigger anxiety attacks and upset her.

My husband doesn''t understand the advert so thats one good thing. I'm sorry your wife is upset by them. Its a double edged sword , bringing attention to the problem but upsetting people too.

 

[Gosling]

So many critics!

A 60-second video can only do so much, and this one does it admirably.

Advertising is designed to achieve specific goals including fundraising and informing.

There have been many ethnically diverse videos in the past, and there will be many more, each one reflects a different aspect of an individual's journey.

This particular video made me cry.

It's five years now since my Alzheimer's diagnosis, and my wife of 48 years is my rock.

I have to say I agree with the above comment. You can only do and achieve so much from a short video. and I'm quite sure there will be others in the future that will address different aspects of dementia, and the journey of both people with dementia, and their carers, whoever they may be.
Your'e doing brilliantly @PeteMid , and your wife too. Take care.

 

[K1tt]

Not impressed at all. It did not mirror with what we went through. I thought it guilt tripped people and gave false ideas of what it was like. I got quite angry when I first saw the ad.😕

 

[K1tt]

I was also very upset. It felt like it was setting an unobtainable standard, the dutiful quiet unruffled but sad partner. And here i am with a sore throat and chunks of hair on the floor from sheer frustration and upset from continuing disagreement bickering (as her daughter I don't know best and she argues with anything i say a fair amout of the time or blatantly ignores me) xx xx

 

[Hermann]

I’ve viewed several of the AS adverts, including ”The Ultimate Vow”, which is the focus of this thread.

The impression I’m left with, from all of them, is that what the makers want to emphasise, in the brief time span the ads run for, is the pre-eminent value of compassion. Perhaps there’s a suggestion that compassion is the best, if not the only, weapon we have against this awful disease. I don’t see any tacit castigation of partners or spouses who are unable to continue caring for their loved ones at home for the duration of their lives.

There’s a deep humanity in the adverts, and I think they’re laudable for that reason alone, even if you don’t find they reflect your own experience of dementia particularly successfully.

 

[Lawson58]

Compassion is the answer for many of the world’s problems. Sadly when it comes to dementia, who cares for the carer when they run out of steam?

Humanity is one of those words that is strong on intention but never measures up. I have just watched the ad once again and I almost feel that is rather like a fairy tale, where love is supposed to overcome all the adversities life throws at the loving couple.