Eyes shut all the time

[florence43]

Hi,

Think I may have mentioned this somewhere in another rambling thread of mine, but it was probably listed among several other questions, concerns and worries so I'm singling it out this time and asking for similar experiences...

Since mum went into hospital a month ago, the 3 most obvious changes are her mobility (now bed-bound), her eating (purees and drinking with a straw) and the fact that her eyes are nearly always shut even when she appears to be awake.

She has had several meals with her eyes shut. She has "chats" with her eyes shut (mum barley speaks but she responds every now and then with a one-word answer - eyes shut though!). If we're lucky she'll open one eye, but seems much happier with them closed.

We did establish today that since the Twilight nurses have been going in, that she's awake in the night (I hear the confusion of night and day is common), so I suppose common sense says she's just tired.

Has anyone else known this happen? She has been recovering from UTIs which do knock her off her feet...quite literally.

Thanks,

Annie x

 

[Charlie23]

Hi Annie, I don't have much experience of this but I sure think she has plenty of reason to be tired. My own grandmother spends a lot of time dozing... but actually if a dr or professional comes to see her or us and she doesn't like what they are saying she will then close her eyes, perhaps awake but blanking us?!

Hope someone will be along with a more useful input. Take care xx

 

[PostTenebrasLux]

Hello Annie,

experience with my cousin suggested that the light may have been too bright for her, even though it were dimmed. It is also a form of cutting out the unpleasant world where safety is within her own "imagined" line of vision.
Could you try with closing the curtains/pulling down a blind or holding some dark fabric or large newspaper around her to "darken" your mother's immediate surroundings?

Do let us know how you progress!
Martina

 

[florence43]

Another World?

Thank you! Already it may make some sense, because in the hospital, the lights are so bright, so the lighting issue may be a reason. Also, I definitely have a gut feeling that she's going into "another world" because she can smile and say nice things with her eyes shut but when she's "awake" she barely speaks. We've actually had longer conversations with her, eyes shut, than eyes open! Bless her!

I think mum likes this other world more, and who can blame her? She's always scared of new places and strangers so having so much change over the past 4 weeks will have really upset her, but she's been so poorly she can't really react, and she can't articulate it at the best of times.

Oh well. It may be one of those unanswerable questions, but if anyone else has experienced it, it may be interesting to see "what happens next"...

Annie xx

 

[gabriel]

Eyes closed

Hi Annie,

My mother started speaking with her eyes closed and when a nurse or carer asked her to open them she would say 'ok' but keep them closed. When challenged she sometimes said that they were open. Eventually she did open them. I sometimes think that this might be what is called a coping mechanism. My own mother's condition has gone downhill in hospital also and it is very concerning. I hope your mum gets out of hospital and back to familiar surroundings soon.

 

[florence43]

Thanks Gabriel,

Sounds very similar. Mum came out of hospital last week, but her eyes are still shut a lot of the time, during meals etc. She seems a little more responsive now she's back home, or now she's flushing out the UTI, but she's still happier in the other world.

I think you may be right. I have found recently (we thought we were losing her just over a week ago) that I have the strangest coping mechanisms and a lot of them have come to play in the last month, so why not mum? If this explains why she does it, fair enough. I'm so sorry that she's feeling the strain and therefore needing to cope, but she actually seems quite happy (it's a relative happiness) with her eyes shut.

Thanks for your input though. It always helps to know other people are going through the same things. It's almost more helpful than a definitive answer to a question.

I hope I can support you too, since we're experiencing such a similar situation. Best of luck, and thanks again,

Annie xxx

 

[kal]

still hoping for my mum to come back

Hi. still wishing my mum would come back to me, think about her all the time. when im not there i look forward to seeing her but when i get to the home, nothings changed. The visits are hard and emotinally draining i wish she would talk to me, she is mostly asleep even whilst i feed her. She doesnt walk now and spends most of her day sleeping. Sometimes she has periods of being unsettled and aggravated, she scratches her legs and they bleed. The whole situation is just awful and i find it hard to cope. I also have a dad to support, and every visit is getting harder and harder.

 

[Starshine]

Hi Annie

MIL was much the same as your Mum, for the few months before we lost her, think she just didn't like seeing what was around her most of the time, NH etc. and sometimes it was a very infected eye and they just kinda glued together, its so very sad and so very heartbreaking for everyone, gratefully she did not have to suffer to many years of suffering, and the end was a happy release for her (and sadly us too). Good Luck
Starshine x