the long wait for something

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
75,132
0
73
Dundee
I’m so sorry for your loss @Jane3.

I’m glad your mum is now at rest. Sending my condolences and wishing you strength.
 

Muggers

Registered User
Mar 18, 2024
62
0
hello Muggers I am still with you and your lovely mum, peace will be soon.sending love and strength
Hi Jane, so kind of you to message when you must be going through so much and emotions all over the place, you must give yourself time. Xx
My days are pretty much the same but at least the sun is shining today, sat with mum whilst she drifts in and out, sometimes she looks at me and smiles and sometimes she looks like she could cry. Xx
 

Jane3

Registered User
Aug 29, 2023
89
0
i would like to thank all you wonderful people for all your support iy has been the most horrifying time and my heart goes out o you all that are still going through it.
you can all hold you heads up knowing that you are amazing people doing all you can for your loved ones
i can not do that, i let my mum down at a critical time and I cant fathom out why or how to live with hat fact now she has gone.
Yes she had dementia and it was always going to end like this, but I didn't keep her safe , I was a coward and neglectful. So ashamed and so grateful of your support on here i wish i had invested in the forum earlier. I joined in August but didn't really take part until it was too late.
I would like everyone who is touched by dementia to be directed straight here it is a life line.
 

Collywobbles

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
365
0
i would like to thank all you wonderful people for all your support iy has been the most horrifying time and my heart goes out o you all that are still going through it.
you can all hold you heads up knowing that you are amazing people doing all you can for your loved ones
i can not do that, i let my mum down at a critical time and I cant fathom out why or how to live with hat fact now she has gone.
Yes she had dementia and it was always going to end like this, but I didn't keep her safe , I was a coward and neglectful. So ashamed and so grateful of your support on here i wish i had invested in the forum earlier. I joined in August but didn't really take part until it was too late.
I would like everyone who is touched by dementia to be directed straight here it is a life line.
I’m so sorry you feel that way Jane. I know you can’t see it yet, but all I’ve read here are your greatest efforts to care for your Mum, to get all the right information from a range of doctors and carers, and fighting to ensure that she was pain-free. You’ve been far more brave than I could imagine myself being. Your strength just continuing to fight your Mum’s corner, has been inspiring.

Your love for your Mum shines through it all. I hope you find peace with the calm way she passed - which was the greatest gift of your love.
 

DeeCee7

Registered User
Oct 13, 2023
333
0
Oh @Jane3 please don’t let that guilt monster in! You supported your mum so well, and were at her end. We all wish we could have done some things differently, but as we are imperfect humans that is never going to happen. @Collywobbles is right.
Be proud of yourself. We are proud of you!
 

Muggers

Registered User
Mar 18, 2024
62
0
i would like to thank all you wonderful people for all your support iy has been the most horrifying time and my heart goes out o you all that are still going through it.
you can all hold you heads up knowing that you are amazing people doing all you can for your loved ones
i can not do that, i let my mum down at a critical time and I cant fathom out why or how to live with hat fact now she has gone.
Yes she had dementia and it was always going to end like this, but I didn't keep her safe , I was a coward and neglectful. So ashamed and so grateful of your support on here i wish i had invested in the forum earlier. I joined in August but didn't really take part until it was too late.
I would like everyone who is touched by dementia to be directed straight here it is a life line.
Oh Jane, you mustn’t beat yourself up, there is no right or wrong way of dealing with what you have been through or what you are going through, I’m sure all of us on here have or will have some kind of regret or guilt, it’s a process and right now you’re emotions are all over the place, give yourself a break lovey you’re only human. Xx
Off to see mum now, waiting and watching, will update later. 💞
 

mhw

Registered User
Apr 4, 2024
68
0
Hindsight is a wonderful thing but not something you should suffer from, only learn. You made the choices at the time, each time, that were right for you and you thought were right, let's face it, no one deliberately chooses the wrong choice do they? They only go on to see the choice differently.
But sometimes it's not even a conscious choice, things just happen.
You did what you could when you could, and your mum, God ( if there is one) won't judge you badly for that, and certainly neither should you.
Breathe, cry, sleep, grieve, and one day smile again remembering her 💕
 

Jane3

Registered User
Aug 29, 2023
89
0
Oh Jane, you mustn’t beat yourself up, there is no right or wrong way of dealing with what you have been through or what you are going through, I’m sure all of us on here have or will have some kind of regret or guilt, it’s a process and right now you’re emotions are all over the place, give yourself a break lovey you’re only human. Xx
Off to see mum now, waiting and watching, will update later. 💞
i am breathing through , just about.
thinking of you and your vigil xx
 

Hima

Registered User
Apr 30, 2024
16
0
It's a challenging time, I am so sorry for you. Please hold hope. Please take care of yourself. Do not hesitate to lean on friends and family at this time. Your love and presence mean a lot to your mom, even if she may not express it in the ways she used to.
 

Muggers

Registered User
Mar 18, 2024
62
0
i am breathing through , just about.
thinking of you and your vigil xx
The vigil continues, more morphine given today, she is so pale, her breathing is labored, she looks dreadful xx Thinking of you lots Jane. Xx
 

TessB

Registered User
Nov 14, 2023
136
0
Does end of life ever end, four weeks since discharge from hospital with AD at end of life , weaning spoons of porridge and sips of liquid only since the 23rd of Feb .
Always a joy when mum opens her eyes and chats (nothing that makes sense).
I have fantasy that she will wake up put her teeth back in and eat a portion of fish and chips...as that is where she was in February as well as being mobile and Continent. I know that is not going to happen.
Meanwhile all our lives on hold and treasuring every minute we get, though question the quality of life she has,,,and prying that she can pass peacefully.
lots of sleep now no idea if that is an indicator of anything?
My thoughts go out for all families that are in this position.
I find myself in a similar strange position. Never imagined I'd be posting on the End of Life Care thread but here I am. Mum had a possible further TIA and the GP said she may rally or fade away. We now have 'just in case medication' and the district nurses have visited. I did find out yesterday from the GP that mum has advanced vascular disease and hadn't been expected to recover from the TIA she had in December. It makes it a bit easier to cope with that it is so advanced and would have been coming on for years. Strange how mum recovers from one thing and I think she is 'getting better' then something else happens. Mum is doing a lot of sleeping now and not eating much though still wanting food. It's so hard to see our loved ones like this. Hugs to you.