EPA - accounting for cash?

[janishere]

Tempted to Ban Me Again?

I suppose it will not be long before the moderators ban me from the forum yet again! Yes I guess I am an angry person but it is healthier than suppressing it, especially when anger is rightly deserved.

 

[janishere]

The Truth Hurts

You only have to read the whole of this thread to realise that for some of the people the truth hurts so they call it "a view"

 

[janishere]

And if you tell them the truth

And if you tell them the truth they will say it is "offensive" or "aggressive" because you are not supposed to argue or be allowed free speech these days - well it was the same in the in the Middle Ages, people were burnt at the stake or imprisoned, even scientists, for less for truths we now accept as a given. The good thing that has changed is that now we cannot be imprisoned for our beliefs and opinions let alone burned or ducked or hung drawn and quartered and treated as witches!

Yes, I am a passionate person, I am sad at the state of England people today, it's a crime I suppose

 

[Tender Face]

Dear Janishere ... apart from being (very) weak in some respects I acknowledge I am a very angry person ..... and have learnt to face the reasons why - even if I still struggle with controlling the anger at times .....

I can 'lash out' - sadly I've done it here and upset others sometimes too .... I wondered if you'd care to share honestly about what it is really making you so angry you might find people can support you ......

Being antagonistic isn't helping anyone here - and most of all not you ....

Please .... a little calm ...... think about yourself ... why you came to TP in the first place and what you need from it before you alienate yourself from people willing to try to support you .....

Probably got it all horribly wrong again, but there you go ....

Karen, x

 

[dmc]

Oh i see we got it wrong
your insults were meant to be funny, then i must apologise, next time someone calls a TP carer a brainwashed zombie i'll have to remember to roll on the floor laughing.

donna

 

[sue38]

what is the situation for up to 2 years re bankruptcy Sue?/QUOTE]

Any transaction at undervalue where the person is in the next 2 years declared bankrupt may be open to attack. This is even if the person was not bankrupt at the time and had no reason to think that they would go bankrupt in the next two years.

A transaction at undervalue is not only outright gifts but includes for example a sale of a property where the amount paid was significantly less than the value of the property.

Janishere, when I read your first post on this thread I saw it as letting off steam and a bit of rant (we're all entitled to a bit of rant now and again) but could see why others took exception to some your comments. I did not think that I had said anything to you which could be taken as criticism of you.

Later in the thread I posted some information which I hoped would be helpful but admit that I was taken aback at your response 'What do you say to this Sue38?' What did I do??

Luckily I have a sense of humour (Gawd help anyone dealing with AD that doesn't) and decided not to take your comment personally. If, however, I did not have the confidence of what I was saying and 3 weighty Insolvency text books open on my desk to back me up, I might have been reluctant to post any further comments/opinions/advice. It would be a shame if people did not post their views for fear that they would be made to feel like a 'blithering idiot' in Karen's words.

Sue

 

[mel]

Hi Sue
The advice we were given when my brother took out EPA was to be careful....i.e. to carry on with finances as mum would have done. I think I am right in saying that as long as for example gifts to the granchildren remain at a fairly constant level then we were ok. if hitherto gifts of £20 turned into gifts of £200 then there could be a problem, rightly so.
I think after mum died a figure of £3000 or more in gifts had to be explained?

Janishere
I am sorely tempted to attack your comments of "AS mafia" and "bullying tactics" . But frankly I don't want to go there...........I exercised my right to express my opinion that your post was insensitive.....free speech and all that

 

[Grannie G]

Hi Wendy,
That`s exectly what I was given to understand. Continue as mother would have done, gifts to children and grandchildren for birthdays etc, not to leap from £20 to £200 and expenditure for mother to follow her normal pattern of spending.
There were no problems.

 

[Cate]

In that case, I need an IOU from mum for two years worth of M & S knickers. (to follow on the 'normal pattern')

Every Christmas and birthday saw us plodding around the shops looking for gifts, till mum got fed up, and would say, " I know, we'll get slippers for the men, and knickers for the women", and I used to say, cor mum, that willl come as a surprise!!

Must remind her, she will enjoy the joke.

Love
Cate

 

[Skye]

Yes I guess I am an angry person but it is healthier than suppressing it, especially when anger is rightly deserved.

Hi janishere

I accept that you are angry, but you have not told us why. Certainly you have no reason to be angry with anyone on TP.

We have taken issue with the way you expressed yourself. We are not 'brainwashed zombies', we are trying to do our best in a very difficult situation, and asking for support and advice where we know we will find it. We are all feeling our way, and are grateful for advice from those with more experience.

Janishere, you could have that support too, if you were prepared to work with us, instead of knocking us down.

I wondered if you'd care to share honestly about what it is really making you so angry you might find people can support you ......

Karen is right. Please let us know how we can help you.

 

[sue38]

The advice we were given when my brother took out EPA was to be careful....i.e. to carry on with finances as mum would have done. I think I am right in saying that as long as for example gifts to the granchildren remain at a fairly constant level then we were ok. if hitherto gifts of £20 turned into gifts of £200 then there could be a problem, rightly so.

Hi Wendy (or is it Mel?)

Yes that's right you can make 'seasonal' gifts as your Mum would have done.. Christmas, Birthdays, weddings and so on. These have to be reasonable in amount and in relation to your Mum's financial position i.e. a gift of £200 may be reasonable for someone with a lot of money, whereas for someone with less money £20 might be considered reasonable.

I think after mum died a figure of £3000 or more in gifts had to be explained?

Explained to whom? Probably to the Revenue and Customs. This has more to do with Inheritance tax (IHT). Every one has an annual allowance for gifts of £3000 (don't think that went up in last budget.. will check). Generally if you make gifts totalling more that £3000 in any tax year within 7 years prior to death, then the excess (or a proportion) has to be brought back when calculating the value of an estate for IHT purposes. This applies to everyone whether they had an EPA or not.

Sue

 

[noelphobic]

Yes I guess I am an angry person but it is healthier than suppressing it, especially when anger is rightly deserved.

If your anger is anything to do with 'the system' then maybe the best person to direct your questions to would be Tony Blair

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/politics_show/6545171.stm

Brenda

 

[Brucie]

When I sit back with my [ex] academic hat on, one of the interesting aspects of TP is on the way we all behave, in our individual fashion, and how we interpret things in our own way, to our own advantage.

I think we all have something to learn from this, in terms of the way we post, and the way we reply to the posts of others - and to the way we interpret things generally.

A case in point:

there is a marked lack of a sense of humour on this forum haven't you noticed people reading this? i.e. you, the 180-220 people reading this who do not post not the 10 or 20 who do and accuse me while indulging in bullying behaviour

Perhaps the 180-220 people reading do not come to the thread for humour, but for information, thoughtfully put? Perhaps these people do not respond because of the tangent to which it has been taken? Perhaps they don't post because they have been offended by the tone, and have their own ideas of where bullying has taken place?

Or perhaps not.

The point is, we don't know, and it is always best not to assume things - either way.

TP works on so many levels for so many people. To do so, it needs to walk a line that is as informative and supportive as it can be, and only confrontational in an intelligent and measured way.

 

[mel]

Explained to whom? Probably to the Revenue and Customs. This has more to do with Inheritance tax (IHT). Every one has an annual allowance for gifts of £3000 (don't think that went up in last budget.. will check). Generally if you make gifts totalling more that £3000 in any tax year within 7 years prior to death, then the excess (or a proportion) has to be brought back when calculating the value of an estate for IHT purposes. This applies to everyone whether they had an EPA or not.

Sue

Hi Sue
Yes....you are right....sorry.....getting a bit confused....I do remember that this was to do with inheritance tax(which actually didn't apply in mums case) but that is where I got the £3000 per year from

 

[Nell]

[QUOTE=Skye]Hi janishere

I accept that you are angry, but you have not told us why. Certainly you have no reason to be angry with anyone on TP.

Janishere, you could have that support too, if you were prepared to work with us, instead of knocking us down.

Karen is right. Please let us know how we can help you.[/QUOTE]

Hey Janishere!
{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}} When people I care about are as angry as you are I can only hug them. So I'm sending you big hugs too. We DO care about you and as Hazel and Karen have said, maybe we can help you.

Anger is such a debilitating thing to live with. I know this from personal experience as I guess many of us on this forum do.

Please don't think I'm being patronising - altho" it might seem as if I am. (my family are inclined to accuse me of being "so gaddam reasonable" that it is a pain in the butt! )

Thinking of you and hoping you will stay with us. Nell

 

[Margarita]

I suppose it will not be long before the moderators ban me from the forum yet again!

Now that does sound intriguing, when you say yet again, as that is implying that you are under an alias (use name)

so the moderators should no who you are

I know Emailing Tony Blair or going to his web site is just going to make you feel more frustrated so that was not good advice in leavening a link to that site.

sound like loads of people just want you to say sorry for using that word gormless, other wise your in the dog house lol . no one going to give you they advice they keep it to themself , till you became one of them lol , but then maybe you don't want that any advice .

No one can help anyone unless they want to help themself

people reading do not come to the thread for humour

Yes that is right Brucie and then I
Can see how good in adding humour , life to short we only have one life , but some people do have a dry sense of humour .

And if you do meet someone in the street throwing giving they money away, you can’t tell if they look ill , you can't tell if someone is pre AZ , has a mental illness from how they look ! maybe they a secret look I don’t know , but yes I think every one has a right to give they money away as they please ,.

I wish I could meet someone throwing they money away in the street , but no one even with a mental illness does that give them more credit , only someone who have a nerves brake down would do something like that

 

[noelphobic]

I know Emailing Tony Blair or going to his web site is just going to make you feel more frustrated so that was not good advice in leavening a link to that site.

The point I was trying to make is that if someone is unhappy with the laws of the land then the buck stops with Tony Blair! The link to ask questions had already been posted so I was just pointing it out.

Brenda

 

[ellie 123]

Hi everyone

I came about this thread purely by accident tonight but I am so glad I did.

I have reached this stage with mum, certain professionals would have preferred me to have done it ages ago and I still don't think I can do, although how much longer I can hold off for (before it becomes too late), I don't know.

I actually wasn't offended by Janshere (sorry) and especially because the amount of info that followed was amazing.....but I still feel in the dark!!!!

My personal reluctance and problem with EPAs is that my mum would hate for this to happen to her as she's always liked to be in control, and secondly, I already feel guilty and I haven't yet had to use any of her money for her own purposes. I must have spoken to 50 people about what is and isn't acceptable, and as I said I'm still not certain what is legal and isn't. In fact, it appears that the only safe way is to spend our money instead, then no one can accuse us of anything. Believe you me I've spent many sleepless nights (this is another one) trying to decide which is best for her but also allows me peace of mind that no-one's going to suddenly drag me off to jail. But I feel v. strongly that this is mum's money and it is in the main dad's hard earned savings that he left to her. And mum feels equally strongly that she wants to leave something to her grandchildren - in fact she doesn't agree with paying for any of her health costs as she believes dad and her worked hard all their lives, paid their taxes, never asked anything of the state, etc.

I also have the problem that my parents have always been generous and supportive to me financially - they bought my car,so I had a reliable one for travelling to them and it now needs replacing. They've always substantially assisted with the associated costs and they've always been incredibly generous with birthdays, christmas, special events such as graduations (because they were always so proud) and now I feel that this can't continue because someone will come along and say I'm a thief. So I'm actually tempted not to do anything which is outrageous.

Love ellie

 

[jenniferpa]

Ellie do you actually have an EPA for your mother? Even if it's not registered? Because making one and registering are 2 very different things. The making is as fiscally responsible as making a will, while the registering is something different with strong emotional overtones, quite apart from the practicalities. Also, of course, you can put off registering it until you feel it's absolutely necessary, while you can't (or shouldn't) put off making one. As for gifts: before or after and EPA is in force, I do feel that you should continue with the pattern that has already been established. Not I suppose giving hundreds and thousands of pounds away (if you had that much, although if you had millions it wouldn't be unreasonable), but whatever would be a reasonable pattern. My mother has always given my children £100 at christmas and birthdays, and I'm not about to stop now. My situation may be different however: as an only child I am unlikely to be forced to account to another family member about where the money si going.

Jennifer

 

[ellie 123]

Hi Jennifer

Are you a night owl too?

No I haven't actually done the EPA yet, I'm supposed to be finalising it next week, that's if I've got the courage.

Do you think I should just get the forms completed and signed and then hang on a bit until I feel more comfortable with it, and then register it?

Would really appreciate your thoughts.

Love ellie