Coming to terms with the loss of my Mum (97).

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by Marcelle123, Jan 8, 2018.

  1. nita

    nita Registered User

    Dec 30, 2011
    1,816
    Female
    Essex
     
  2. nita

    nita Registered User

    Dec 30, 2011
    1,816
    Female
    Essex
    Sorry to hear about your husband's visual problems,@Marcelle123 - I hope the outcome is not as bad as you fear and that his vision doesn't worsten. Can it be corrected by glasses? Is he still able to drive and read OK?

    I sympathise with anyone with eye problems as I've had so many including a detached retina but the surgeons were very good and I can see but my vision is now deteriorating from a cataract. You say you have one but is it in early stages? I've had it for a few years and I'm not yet eligible for the operation as I can still read about 2 or 3 lines from the bottom of the chart (I think they take into account the aid of the other eye). Criteria for a cataract operation may vary in different areas.

    By the way, you haven't changed your area from East Anglia to York!!
     
  3. Marcelle123

    Marcelle123 Registered User

    Nov 9, 2015
    4,382
    Yorkshire
    He is a Scot (from Lanarkshire), but his kilts are because we go Scottish Country Dancing. He had two made when he was rather big - because of a kidney condition - but then he lost weight and the kilts were becoming a little dangerous to wear! Luckily Lidl was doing an offer that year, so he got two Lidl kilts for his newly slim shape. :)
     
  4. Marcelle123

    Marcelle123 Registered User

    Nov 9, 2015
    4,382
    Yorkshire
    That sounds a lovely idea. We were up at the dentists at Easingwold today, and I realised how much I'm looking forward to living there.
    York is lovely - but it's just too big a place.

    Glad you are in agreement about the decorating, and I am sure everything will look lovely. xx
     
  5. Marcelle123

    Marcelle123 Registered User

    Nov 9, 2015
    4,382
    Yorkshire
    My husband's sight is okay to drive - because when he's using both eyes, the blurring doesn't really show up.
    My cataracts - I only know that though I'd be glad not to need an operation, two optometrists and one eye consultant have said that I do need an operation, on both eyes. The first one will be my left eye, which has the complication of a macular wrinkle - one of the reasons I'm a bit worried and happy to wait the nine months.

    Thanks for telling me about the change of address. I should have done it!

    Best wishes for your own eye problems. I hope you manage to get agreement for a cataract operation soon. It's not right that there's a delay, sometimes, because of the expense.

    Very best wishes,
    Marcelle xx
     
  6. DianeW

    DianeW Registered User

    Sep 10, 2013
    533
    Lytham St Annes
    Marcelle....I have been following your thread, and read lots of other but don’t post much.

    I just wanted to reassure you about cataract operations, my husband has also had both his eyes done and he was so very nervous for the first, but he was fine....and for the second one he really had no nerves at all, and he is not good with Dr’s or hospitals etc.

    He put the drops in as advised afterward and recovered well, he said it was like seeing in HD......and really could tell a difference very quickly.
     
  7. Marcelle123

    Marcelle123 Registered User

    Nov 9, 2015
    4,382
    Yorkshire
    Thank you, @DianeW - that is very reassuring to know! xx
     
  8. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    2,096
    Female
    East Midlands
    I have also heard that from people who have had cataract ops that it really is like a new lease of eyesight for them which is reassuring to know!
    I do like York a lot but I know what you mean about living in the suburbs as I live in the suburbs of Nottingham. Close enough but far enough away.
    I’m currently packing up nik naks in the lounge, I was getting a bit bored of clothes sorting so went to this instead! Xx
     
  9. Marcelle123

    Marcelle123 Registered User

    Nov 9, 2015
    4,382
    Yorkshire
    #129 Marcelle123, Nov 5, 2019
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2019
    Variety is the spice of packing!
    I used to live in Grantham and went to Nottingham sometimes. The centre is very nice - and the arboretum.

    Thinking of you. xx
     
  10. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    2,096
    Female
    East Midlands
    Thank you @Marcelle123 - I’ve not been to Grantham that much but I have been to places around there! The centre of Nottingham changes every time we go into town! We haven’t been in for a while but we will have to sort that out. My boyfriend has paid for a Groupon deal so I can have a meal out with his mum as we get on really well. He is very thoughtful like that. He’s already gone over the road to do more work on the house. I think he is mental but also amazing! Xx
     
  11. Marcelle123

    Marcelle123 Registered User

    Nov 9, 2015
    4,382
    Yorkshire
    #131 Marcelle123, Dec 2, 2019 at 12:32 PM
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2019 at 4:40 PM
    So happy today - our purchase completion went through, and we're just back from picking up the keys and going round the house to look at what's needed. It's very clean & nice but needs some curtains, lampshades, also a wardrobe - we'll be popping up several times a week to get it ready for moving into in mid-January.
     
  12. love.dad.but..

    love.dad.but.. Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    4,442
    Kent
    That's good news and a fresh start in your new home for 2020. Wishing you well
     
  13. Marcelle123

    Marcelle123 Registered User

    Nov 9, 2015
    4,382
    Yorkshire
    Thank you very much - so nice. xx
     
  14. LynneMcV

    LynneMcV Volunteer Moderator

    May 9, 2012
    3,637
    south-east London
    That's great news @Marcelle123 - I'm really happy for you :)
     
  15. Marcelle123

    Marcelle123 Registered User

    Nov 9, 2015
    4,382
    Yorkshire
  16. Havemercy

    Havemercy Registered User

    Oct 8, 2012
    124
    Great news! Lots to do and lots to look forward to!
     
  17. theunknown

    theunknown Registered User

    Apr 17, 2015
    334
    Marcelle, I think you're following me around, or I'm following you :). My small family are in Sheffield, which is where my mum came from (her funeral's on the 17th of December in Sheffield), I lived in Norwich after I got married, and now I'm settled in York, which really feels like home after living in every Yorkshire county. I also know Easingwold, as I used to work there.
     
  18. Marcelle123

    Marcelle123 Registered User

    Nov 9, 2015
    4,382
    Yorkshire
    Thank you, @Havemercy!
     
  19. Marcelle123

    Marcelle123 Registered User

    Nov 9, 2015
    4,382
    Yorkshire
    You have some very good ideas! :)
     

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