Coming to terms with the loss of my Mum (97).

[Kikki21]

@Marcelle123 oh my what a time you are having!
Sorry I have been mia in the site for a few weeks now. Life is busy at the moment but I am
So glad that your husband’s issues with his eyes are not as bad as feared. But still a worry to you.
I’m very happy that your sales are going through. God knows I know how that feels! Xx

 

[Elle3]

What a relief for you both that it is not as bad as feared. Fingers crossed the laser treatment works and it isn't too painful for him.

Take care.
Elle x

 

[Marcelle123]

@Kikki21 & @Elle3 - thank you so much for your kind posts.

Wishing you both a nice weekend. xx

 

[Kikki21]

@Marcelle123 how is your husband now with his eyes? I hope things are better for you xx

 

[Marcelle123]

Thanks for asking, @Kikki21 - we're still in the same place, except that the doctors at a later meeting reclassified his freckle as a 'low-grade melanoma'. It upset us a bit, but we think it was so that they could authorise a liver scan to make sure there were no secondary tumours. That's organised for October 25th at Sheffield, and we think the laser therapy clinic will be the same day - we were told that by telephone - but are waiting for the letter.

As for our house - the survey found there were cracks in the brickwork, and recommended we didn't buy it without getting a structural surveyor's report. The estate agent has got the vendor to commission one, and we're now waiting for the results. We're hoping it's not too serious and that we don't have to drop out and find yet another house to offer for.

However, compared with my husband's health, it doesn't matter half as much.

I hope you're getting better news on your own house sale and purhase.
It's a horrible waiting game, isn't it?

Very best wishes,
Marcelle xx

 

[Marcelle123]

It is an incredible experience being back in central York, despite all the worries. Every day my brain is throwing up new memories, often with Mum in them, and the result is that the dementia part of Mum's life is fading in comparison.

I still often remember those last days, and feel desperately sad, and also incredulous - that it should have come to that - but being back here rather than still living near Mum's old bungalow in Great Yarmouth, is definitely helping me to put her life into perspective.

 

[Kikki21]

Thanks for asking, @Kikki21 - we're still in the same place, except that the doctors at a later meeting reclassified his freckle as a 'low-grade melanoma'. It upset us a bit, but we think it was so that they could authorise a liver scan to make sure there were no secondary tumours. That's organised for October 25th at Sheffield, and we think the laser therapy clinic will be the same day - we were told that by telephone - but are waiting for the letter.

As for our house - the survey found there were cracks in the brickwork, and recommended we didn't buy it without getting a structural surveyor's report. The estate agent has got the vendor to commission one, and we're now waiting for the results. We're hoping it's not too serious and that we don't have to drop out and find yet another house to offer for.

However, compared with my husband's health, it doesn't matter half as much.

I hope you're getting better news on your own house sale and purhase.
It's a horrible waiting game, isn't it?

Very best wishes,
Marcelle xx

My survey turned up some issues. I have managed to get one dismissed but I really need the roofing contractor to come & look at the roof.
I can’t see how the surveyor could look at the roof without getting onto the roof & seeing as I never saw her with any ladders climbing to have a look then how would they do that?
I did ring him but I will have to chase him again!
It is a horrible, waiting game for sure but you are better to have a sound house to live in as opposed to one which needs plenty of repairs!

I really hope your husband’s health isn’t
as problematic as first feared & sending up good vibes on your behalf xx

 

[Marcelle123]

My survey turned up some issues. I have managed to get one dismissed but I really need the roofing contractor to come & look at the roof.
I can’t see how the surveyor could look at the roof without getting onto the roof & seeing as I never saw her with any ladders climbing to have a look then how would they do that?
I did ring him but I will have to chase him again!
It is a horrible, waiting game for sure but you are better to have a sound house to live in as opposed to one which needs plenty of repairs!

I really hope your husband’s health isn’t
as problematic as first feared & sending up good vibes on your behalf xx

Thank you very much, @Kikki21.

We heard on Friday that the vendor's structural survey shows that the cracks are not serious, so we are going ahead. We also have roof tiles that need repointing, but will do that ourselves once we own the house. And there's a gas fire that's unsafe that must be dealt with too.

You're so right about surveys - I wouldn't care to take on a house without one.

It's a big relief that the cracks just need repointing/ redecorating, not only because we like the house, but also because it would be so stressful and expensive to have to find another house and go through paying for searches and survey for a third time!

We rang Sheffield Hallamshire Hospital, the eye department, this morning & have confirmed the two appointments - liver scan & laser therapy - for 25th October. We're just hoping for the best...
My husband will have to lurk inside away from sunlight for three days after the treatment.

Hoping you soon get somewhere with your house sale and purchase. (I don't know how surveyors look at the roof - maybe they have special binoculars.) I just hate the way one always has to chase people, who often say they'll ring you back, but rarely do. I hate that feeling of being in limbo.

Very best wishes that things get sorted out as soon as possible.
Love,
Marcelle xx

 

[Kikki21]

Thank you very much, @Kikki21.

We heard on Friday that the vendor's structural survey shows that the cracks are not serious, so we are going ahead. We also have roof tiles that need repointing, but will do that ourselves once we own the house. And there's a gas fire that's unsafe that must be dealt with too.

You're so right about surveys - I wouldn't care to take on a house without one.

It's a big relief that the cracks just need repointing/ redecorating, not only because we like the house, but also because it would be so stressful and expensive to have to find another house and go through paying for searches and survey for a third time!

We rang Sheffield Hallamshire Hospital, the eye department, this morning & have confirmed the two appointments - liver scan & laser therapy - for 25th October. We're just hoping for the best...
My husband will have to lurk inside away from sunlight for three days after the treatment.

Hoping you soon get somewhere with your house sale and purchase. (I don't know how surveyors look at the roof - maybe they have special binoculars.) I just hate the way one always has to chase people, who often say they'll ring you back, but rarely do. I hate that feeling of being in limbo.

Very best wishes that things get sorted out as soon as possible.
Love,
Marcelle xx

I’m really pleased that your house is structurally sound - what a relief! The house next door to the one I am buying has got some major issues & the buyer had to pull out of the sale as the vendor would not drop the price - apparently it needs £10k of work doing to it. The house round the corner to ours also went up for sale & has already sold!

Hopefully your husband’s appts will all go to plan & he will be all good after the laser therapy! I think the avoiding sunlight thing is common after such surgery though. But hey sun at that time is a rarity anyway! I’ll go onto my thread to reply on my situation xx

 

[Marcelle123]

My husband had the first session of laser therapy at Sheffield Hallamshire Hospital last Friday & is feeling fine, though as the melanoma is in the middle of his retina, he has suffered some blurring of vision, which may get worse with the second and third sessions - the second one will be after Christmas. Still, it seemed and seems the safest route.

I went to the York Eye Clinic today and have been told that I need a cataract operation. I'm rather glad that there's a nine month waiting list, as I want to concentrate on my spouse's health and our house purchase without having to think about an operation.
The good news was that the consultant said I'm safe to drive.

We are ready to exchange contracts at the end of the week, but will not complete until the beginning of December as the vendor has agreed to get the central heating re-serviced and a gas fire made safe.
I will be hugely relieved once the exchange has taken place, and will keep my fingers crossed that there are no more surprises. My husband will need to sort out some insurance, as we won't be moving in till after Christmas - we have curtains and furniture to fix up first.

 

[Kikki21]

My husband had the first session of laser therapy at Sheffield Hallamshire Hospital last Friday & is feeling fine, though as the melanoma is in the middle of his retina, he has suffered some blurring of vision, which may get worse with the second and third sessions - the second one will be after Christmas. Still, it seemed and seems the safest route.

I went to the York Eye Clinic today and have been told that I need a cataract operation. I'm rather glad that there's a nine month waiting list, as I want to concentrate on my spouse's health and our house purchase without having to think about an operation.
The good news was that the consultant said I'm safe to drive.

We are ready to exchange contracts at the end of the week, but will not complete until the beginning of December as the vendor has agreed to get the central heating re-serviced and a gas fire made safe.
I will be hugely relieved once the exchange has taken place, and will keep my fingers crossed that there are no more surprises. My husband will need to sort out some insurance, as we won't be moving in till after Christmas - we have curtains and furniture to fix up first.

That all seems pretty positive @Marcelle123 - & at least your vendor is fixing some issues. Shopping around for insurance is good, this is what I did with my property! It feels good to finally say that. I just paid my final rent payment ever today & it feels even better not to worry about rent or a mortgage payment.
Our biggest issue is to waiting for the rest of the money from my inheritance to come through as we really need it to progress the biggest project in our house - the kitchen/diner all in one room. the first builder is coming to see what work needs doing & will give us a quote today.

We can sort out the rest of the house apart from the finishing touches in some areas but I have the flooring, we have paint & wall paper! Xx

 

[Marcelle123]

That all seems pretty positive @Marcelle123 - & at least your vendor is fixing some issues. Shopping around for insurance is good, this is what I did with my property! It feels good to finally say that. I just paid my final rent payment ever today & it feels even better not to worry about rent or a mortgage payment.
Our biggest issue is to waiting for the rest of the money from my inheritance to come through as we really need it to progress the biggest project in our house - the kitchen/diner all in one room. the first builder is coming to see what work needs doing & will give us a quote today.

We can sort out the rest of the house apart from the finishing touches in some areas but I have the flooring, we have paint & wall paper! Xx

Hoping it all gets sorted soon. It sounds great. A lot of hard work, but you are a good worker, and I'm sure you'll get it looking fabulous. xx

 

[Kikki21]

Hoping it all gets sorted soon. It sounds great. A lot of hard work, but you are a good worker, and I'm sure you'll get it looking fabulous. xx

I’m sure you will also get sorted as well. Your health is more important as my boyfriend says. I’m still poorly from the lurgy - I’m sure the stress hasn’t helped xx - it’s good that you can still drive while hubby recovers

 

[Marcelle123]

We exchanged contracts on Friday, and will be completing on 2nd December, once the vendor has sorted the gas heating.

We won't try to move in before Christmas, but will wait till mid-January - this will give us more time to organise buying new furniture & hiring removal men, sorting out energy providers & metre readings, and all the other palaver.

I can hardly bear to think of all the packing & organising - we're going to take a step back this week, and then start it all this Friday.
I am still tired from the move up from Norfolk into rental accommodation here in York in July - and it's not all that long since we took the boxes up to the tip.

Soon it will be time to ask for more boxes & start all over again.

Ah well...!

 

[Kikki21]

We exchanged contracts on Friday, and will be completing on 2nd December, once the vendor has sorted the gas heating.

We won't try to move in before Christmas, but will wait till mid-January - this will give us more time to organise buying new furniture & hiring removal men, sorting out energy providers & metre readings, and all the other palaver.

I can hardly bear to think of all the packing & organising - we're going to take a step back this week, and then start it all this Friday.
I am still tired from the move up from Norfolk into rental accommodation here in York in July - and it's not all that long since we took the boxes up to the tip.

Soon it will be time to ask for more boxes & start all over again.

Ah well...!

Yay we exchanging contracts so you are on the way! It’s really exciting although like you packing does not fill me with you. This will be my 6th move in 7 years & ok we are only moving across the road but there is still stuff to lift & get over the road. Not quite sure how we will do that.

I have also got new furniture to buy as in wardrobes as we don’t have any & also a new oven & fridge freezer. It’s now lovely to look across the road & know that we will be living there soon. I have started to pack & sort through my clothes & then I’m waiting for more boxes & bubble wrap to arrive on Wednesday so I can start packing up the lounge & everything else.

I don’t envy you the packing at all @Marcelle123 but at least you aren’t doing it for a good while & sensible to wait till after Christmas. Are you close enough to your new house to do stuff like redecorating before you move in? Xx

 

[Marcelle123]

Yay we exchanging contracts so you are on the way! It’s really exciting although like you packing does not fill me with you. This will be my 6th move in 7 years & ok we are only moving across the road but there is still stuff to lift & get over the road. Not quite sure how we will do that.

I have also got new furniture to buy as in wardrobes as we don’t have any & also a new oven & fridge freezer. It’s now lovely to look across the road & know that we will be living there soon. I have started to pack & sort through my clothes & then I’m waiting for more boxes & bubble wrap to arrive on Wednesday so I can start packing up the lounge & everything else.

I don’t envy you the packing at all @Marcelle123 but at least you aren’t doing it for a good while & sensible to wait till after Christmas. Are you close enough to your new house to do stuff like redecorating before you move in? Xx

Hi, @Kikki21 - we are about thirteen miles away. We probably won't redecorate, though, as it is all painted white inside which is what we would have chosen anyway. But we will take up things like pictures, crockery, 'special occasion' clothes (my husband has a few kilts! ), books & mirrors etc every time we go up, things that can go into cupboards straight away without having to be packed into a box and then unpacked again.

The wardrobe and (possibly) settee can be delivered straight there once we have the keys in December.

We will also have to get rid of our (old) fridge-freezer as there is one built into the kitchen units in the house we're buying.

Do tell us how you get on with your house renovations - it all sounds very interesting (reading about it is relaxing, but doing it - no!)
I am sure your house will be lovely.

Very best wishes,
Marcelle xx

 

[LynneMcV]

That's great news @Marcelle123 - I am glad that everything has come together and that you can look forward to settling down properly in the New Year. I am sure you will be very happy in your new home

 

[Marcelle123]

That's great news @Marcelle123 - I am glad that everything has come together and that you can look forward to settling down properly in the New Year. I am sure you will be very happy in your new home

Thank you, Lynne - you are very kind. xx

 

[jugglingmum]

Pleased you have finally exchanged.

Kilts sound interesting, we go to an annual burns supper where kilts are worn by those with Scottish Ancestry. Or does your husband play the bagpipes?

 

[Kikki21]

Hi, @Kikki21 - we are about thirteen miles away. We probably won't redecorate, though, as it is all painted white inside which is what we would have chosen anyway. But we will take up things like pictures, crockery, 'special occasion' clothes (my husband has a few kilts! ), books & mirrors etc every time we go up, things that can go into cupboards straight away without having to be packed into a box and then unpacked again.

The wardrobe and (possibly) settee can be delivered straight there once we have the keys in December.

We will also have to get rid of our (old) fridge-freezer as there is one built into the kitchen units in the house we're buying.

Do tell us how you get on with your house renovations - it all sounds very interesting (reading about it is relaxing, but doing it - no!)
I am sure your house will be lovely.

Very best wishes,
Marcelle xx

Ah that is good that you can go up & take stuff up there each time & that you are close enough!
We are painting the walls white & then adding feature wallpaper walls. We both like that idea & our tastes are so alike that at times, it is really freaky!
We have also painted the doors white & are currently glossing them. I say we, but Luke is doing it. I’m looking for stuff online & trying to get bargains.
It’s going to look amazing when it is done as I am sure your new home will! It really is exciting xx