Care home

[Daughters concerns]

Hi there ☺️

I know it's not needed right now for mum, but I've been thinking about the future just lately and wondering when is the right time to go into care?

To be honest if she was cooking and buying her own foods and taking her medication regularly without daily reminders noone would know other than what she's forgetting of course!
So the time isn't now but when🤔

 

[Izzy]

@Daughters concerns I wondered if this link would be of any help to you -

Care homes: When is the right time and who decides?

Advice and practical tips for carers on when is the right time for a person to be moved to a care home.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[StressedDaughter]

Hi there ☺️

I know it's not needed right now for mum, but I've been thinking about the future just lately and wondering when is the right time to go into care?

To be honest if she was cooking and buying her own foods and taking her medication regularly without daily reminders noone would know other than what she's forgetting of course!
So the time isn't now but when🤔

It often comes about following a crisis. For my Mum, it was a couple of delirium episodes after a hospital admission. She was probably ready before that but that brought it to a head!

 

[yoy]

I worked on the basis that my mum could stay at home as long as she was safe, but if she started to do things which were dangerous then that would be the time. I started the process when she was getting very close to the wandering off stage including constant threats to "go home" when she was at home, as well as packing all her bags one day, and was also posing a fire risk by turning on the microwave with no food inside etc etc. Now that she is finally feeling settled in the care home I realise how anxious and fearful she had been when she was alone at home, which is probably what triggered it all.

 

[JackieG1]

My sister and I never imagined we would put our lovely mother into a care but over the years our provision of care became more and more intense. She needed carers 4 times a day but social services could only provide twice a day. We were there day and night.
We could no longer cope or provide the adequate care she needed to keep her safe and well.
As someone else mentioned, we reached a crisis point. It was more or less taken out of our hands although we had to verbalise our inability to cope, which was horrendous and the guilt.....!
If you can, try not to reach that point. Look for care homes now while you still have choices even if it isn't what you want. At least you will have some ideas of the services and care they can provide.
Wishing you the best of luck.
Don't forget to take care of yourself.

 

[My Mum's Daughter]

Hi there ☺️

I know it's not needed right now for mum, but I've been thinking about the future just lately and wondering when is the right time to go into care?

To be honest if she was cooking and buying her own foods and taking her medication regularly without daily reminders noone would know other than what she's forgetting of course!
So the time isn't now but when🤔

The right time is when you're doing everything that you're prepared to do and you Mum still needs more.

In our case, we'd had an early chat where I said that I was prepared to help her as much as I could but I wasn't prepared to move in. Mum was actually pleased; she didn't want me to give up that much of my life and didn't think that us living together would work. When 24 hour care was needed, Mum went in residential with me feeling confident that I'd fulfilled my promise.

Others manage longer, especially if they live together but other reasons are-incontinence (arrived a year later) and aggression (arrived best part of 2 years later), mobility issues (arrived with aggression) and bedbound.

You will know when residential is right for your Mum and a care home placement is far from abandonment.

 

[sdmhred]

I moved in to care for my mum, but the time was right when she started to struggle with her mobility. We would have needed an extensive care package and she may have just had bed based care - which alongside everything else tipped the balance. I realised mum and I would both have better quality of life in residential. Rather than being restricted to bed she was able to enjoy the home - and have her personal care when she wanted rather than at care package times. I had some life back and didn’t need to worry if I’d be able to get her into bed without falling each night! She was already incontinent at night, but I managed the day time by putting her on the loo every 2 hours.

She went in on the early late stage and was actually content very quickly. Earlier in her illness she would have struggled more.