Care Home Eviction
- Thread starter Tom R
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- alzheimer's disease
If you are replying here to the concerns by Hartwick, who seems genuinely worried and distressed, it sounds really unfeeling, the way you've worded it - I'm sure you don't mean to sound like that? Some of us are a way down the line with our loved ones and are a bit hardened off the the carehome/nursing home politics, but to someone who may be new to it all, it can be quite overwhelming and scary. It's all such a minefield and also doesn't help that it seems quite a postcode lottery too. Early onset Alzheimers must have been dreadful for you and your late wife and I'm glad to read that you were happy with her care.
I understand the night problem as my husband has Parkinsons and mixed dementia. He has always ,since diagnosis, at night been disturbed. They have worked through loads of medications and have found a combination that has helped so please don't despair just yet. Medication is complex and it can be a slow process to find the right combination. Keep talking to the Home and encourage the GP to speak to the mental health team.
Good luck
Good luck
Completely agree @maisiecat. Mum also has Parkinson's together with dementia and for quite sometime was very restless at night, pressing her call button up to 15 times per night and shouting out. It took a while for the right combination and levels of medication to be found but her nursing home is very proactive in working with GP's, mental health and the Parkinson's team. Like you said, it does take a while to get that balance but a good care/nursing home is worth it's weight in gold in helping to get to that point. She now sleeps reasonably well through the night.
There are good care homes for people with dementia out there, but you have to look for them.
The home mum was in looked shabby and old fashioned, so I had initially discounted it, but the care was wonderful.
Mum had been a wanderer at home, and she continued wandering at night right up until she lost mobility. The staff didnt bat an eye-lid, offered tea and toast and if she wouldnt go back to bed (the usual outcome) she was encouraged to go to the lounge where there ere usually about 3 others and a member of staff to keep an eye on them. They regularly used hoists on those who had lost mobility, had ways to mitigate behaviours like disrobing and inappropriate urination. Mum developed a delusion that she was married to another resident and I saw how they deal with it and I have also seen the staff deflect aggression before it escalated. Mum lived there right to the end and passed away in her care home. The staff genuinely cared for her and dealt with everything dementia could throw at them. The only thing they could not deal with was a very aggressive man who could not be deflected and put his hands round another residents neck. He was sectioned and gone before the day was out.
So, yes there are good dementia homes, but unfortunately, so many of them (even the ones who claim to specialise in dementia care) only want the easy route.
The home mum was in looked shabby and old fashioned, so I had initially discounted it, but the care was wonderful.
Mum had been a wanderer at home, and she continued wandering at night right up until she lost mobility. The staff didnt bat an eye-lid, offered tea and toast and if she wouldnt go back to bed (the usual outcome) she was encouraged to go to the lounge where there ere usually about 3 others and a member of staff to keep an eye on them. They regularly used hoists on those who had lost mobility, had ways to mitigate behaviours like disrobing and inappropriate urination. Mum developed a delusion that she was married to another resident and I saw how they deal with it and I have also seen the staff deflect aggression before it escalated. Mum lived there right to the end and passed away in her care home. The staff genuinely cared for her and dealt with everything dementia could throw at them. The only thing they could not deal with was a very aggressive man who could not be deflected and put his hands round another residents neck. He was sectioned and gone before the day was out.
So, yes there are good dementia homes, but unfortunately, so many of them (even the ones who claim to specialise in dementia care) only want the easy route.
Hi @Tom R
I’m so sorry to hear about what’s happened to your father and the problems following.
I’ve been in a similar position with a CH refusing to take my mum back after a hospitalisation and it’s enormously stressful and you feel like they’re letting you down just at the time you most need the support.
In our situation our CH gave a weak reason why they couldn’t have my mum back. I believe the real reason was she’d need a bit of extra care and checks (nothing very complicated) and they didn’t have the staff to cover it, as simple as that. I know there are good homes but I think demand for places is so much that homes can be picky and a lot do opt for the easier and sometimes cheaper (in terms of staffing) options.
It sounds like the multi agency meeting might be to decide what the next steps are for your dads care? My advice would be to be proactive as much as you can. Visit places they suggest if you can, and make your views known.
If it’s a case that your father will need a nursing home, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. I’ve found nursing home care far superior to a ‘regular’ Carehome. Of course cost and funding is unfortunately always a problem. Good luck
I’m so sorry to hear about what’s happened to your father and the problems following.
I’ve been in a similar position with a CH refusing to take my mum back after a hospitalisation and it’s enormously stressful and you feel like they’re letting you down just at the time you most need the support.
In our situation our CH gave a weak reason why they couldn’t have my mum back. I believe the real reason was she’d need a bit of extra care and checks (nothing very complicated) and they didn’t have the staff to cover it, as simple as that. I know there are good homes but I think demand for places is so much that homes can be picky and a lot do opt for the easier and sometimes cheaper (in terms of staffing) options.
It sounds like the multi agency meeting might be to decide what the next steps are for your dads care? My advice would be to be proactive as much as you can. Visit places they suggest if you can, and make your views known.
If it’s a case that your father will need a nursing home, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. I’ve found nursing home care far superior to a ‘regular’ Carehome. Of course cost and funding is unfortunately always a problem. Good luck
Thankyou for your k
Thankyou for your k
Thankyou it means a lot to know I’m not on my own
