Can I ... Should I?

[DollyBird16]

Hi @DollyBird16

It wasn’t always like this with big brother, he promised to help out, but then didn’t. He only came round when I phoned, nagged & pleaded & I had to collect him & drop him home. It’s taken 2 long years for him to suggest coming over, get the train over himself or drop in on his way home from a client. I had to back off from asking him to do anything with Mum, he supports me & only me, not Mum. So with the pressure off him to do anything, he gradually came round to being there for me so I can look after Mum

Does you Mum have hearing aids? Maybe there is some distortion. Can she hear a radio or tv but not making the connection of noises. I’m just thinking out loud

Thank you, I got hearing check cos she seems to not hear what you are saying, no problem. Mental health doc said she observes a frequent lack of concentration which would account for not hearing. Mum will walk away mid conversation and if on the phone will put it down and walk away.
I talk to myself often at least I get the right answer - lol.
Brother is an interesting read I hope we’ll get there, his wife can be difficult and he puts her first (or is not man enough to say anything!)
Must get to bed work in the morning. I’ve ruined my gained hour, thank goodness for eye cream and my newly discovered eye pads, sure i’ll look 20 ok 23! X

 

[Sam Luvit]

I talk to myself often at least I get the right answer - lol.X

Hi @DollyBird16

Walking away mid conversation is something I often want to do myself, but don’t feel I can, maybe your mum no longer feels the need to be polite, or isn’t following the conversation. You may have read that KISS (Keep It Simple St*pid) or less is more are good maxims for our PWD now. I know Mum glazes over & either picks up a book, walks away or says “oh yes” if a conversation gets lengthy

Lol. I talk to myself if I want a decent conversation or good advice

Oh I so know that one. My brother wouldn’t stand up to his wife for ever, but when she made a $$$£££ suggestion about suing the NHS, he finally found his gonads & told her where to put that suggestion. I hope you can find a way to gain his support, even if he is there for you to talk to, it’s a way of supporting you to support your Mum. It was the best I could get & at least I don’t have to explain what Mum is like, he knows.

What miracle cream did you find???? I swear I’ve added 10 years to my looks in 2 years. Not a good look.

 

[LadyA]

Lovely day here! But I hate the hour going back. It throws me right off. Been reading back, as I've only been flitting in and out the last week or so. My sister from Australia and brother from Singapore have been visiting. Staying with mum, but we've had several get togethers! My nephew's engagement party, a niece's appearance playing Scaramouche in an amazingly good production of "We Will Rock You" . She's only 16, but has such a fabulous and powerful voice! Then we had a large gathering of extended family on Friday night, with cousins, uncles, aunts etc. We had booked for 30 in a local pub/restaurant. Fab evening! As I said to one of my cousins "So lovely for us all to get together when no one has died!"

Oh! And I've been busy with the new arrivals!! Atticus and Toria, two little kittens joined me on Saturday. Strays that my vets' office had for rehoming. They aren't related to each other. Atticus is about ten days older than Toria, I reckon, going by size. Although Toria has been very ill with cat flu, and has had to have an eye removed. Hopefully, she'll be getting her stitches out this week.

 

[Sam Luvit]

Morning @LadyA

I usually manage the time changes ok, but I’m really struggling this time I’ve woken at my usual time, decided it’s too early (knowing how late Mum goes to bed), snuggled down for a doze & woken several hours later feeling awful I hope I do better tomorrow

Did you have the whole place to yourselves? It must be amazing to have that many family members together just for fun It’s so good that you had a fab evening

I read about you getting the kittens, did you put any photos up? I’ll have to go back & catch up, kittens are so cute, they don’t need walking like dogs & are cute n company without forcing you out into the biting cold 5hat is just round the corner.

 

[LadyA]

Morning @LadyA

I usually manage the time changes ok, but I’m really struggling this time I’ve woken at my usual time, decided it’s too early (knowing how late Mum goes to bed), snuggled down for a doze & woken several hours later feeling awful I hope I do better tomorrow

Did you have the whole place to yourselves? It must be amazing to have that many family members together just for fun It’s so good that you had a fab evening

I read about you getting the kittens, did you put any photos up? I’ll have to go back & catch up, kittens are so cute, they don’t need walking like dogs & are cute n company without forcing you out into the biting cold 5hat is just round the corner.

There are a couple of pics in the "pics" thread. I'll have to try and get some more, but it's hard to get pics, they don't stop moving!! Although they're awfully quiet at the moment, so I'm guessing they've worn themselves out, and fallen asleep. I've made the bathroom their "home", with their bed, food bowls and litter tray in there. Nicer than having it in the kitchen, especially with grandson getting more mobile! Will be awkward when I have three people staying later in November, and one in January, but I don't have people staying very often! Toria is much smaller. She's only about ten days younger, t hey reckon, but she's been very ill with cat flu, and has had to have an eye removed.

 

[jimbo 111]

Lovely day here! But I hate the hour going back. It throws me right off. Been reading back, as I've only been flitting in and out the last week or so. My sister from Australia and brother from Singapore have been visiting. Staying with mum, but we've had several get togethers! My nephew's engagement party, a niece's appearance playing Scaramouche in an amazingly good production of "We Will Rock You" . She's only 16, but has such a fabulous and powerful voice! Then we had a large gathering of extended family on Friday night, with cousins, uncles, aunts etc. We had booked for 30 in a local pub/restaurant. Fab evening! As I said to one of my cousins "So lovely for us all to get together when no one has died!"

Oh! And I've been busy with the new arrivals!! Atticus and Toria, two little kittens joined me on Saturday. Strays that my vets' office had for rehoming. They aren't related to each other. Atticus is about ten days older than Toria, I reckon, going by size. Although Toria has been very ill with cat flu, and has had to have an eye removed. Hopefully, she'll be getting her stitches out this week.

 

[jimbo 111]

Lovely day here
---------------------------------------------------


We had booked for 30 in a local pub/restaurant. Fab evening! As I said to one of my cousins "So lovely for us all to get together when no one has died!"
I liked it

 

[jimbo 111]

As my good Italian friend would say in his lovely English
" I Donna' like it "
But I suppose I've got to persevere
I am referring to the recent changes on TP
is it just me in my dotage or do others find that it seems to move before you can make up your mind where to stick your finger
Why am I saying this ??????????
Because for the umpteenth time I've been trying to say I liked

We had booked for 30 in a local pub/restaurant. Fab evening! As I said to one of my cousins "So lovely for us all to get together when no one has died!"

 

[Amy in the US]

Kittens! Now that's a cheerful thought. Thank you for the cute photo. Is that Atticus as in Finch, the philosopher, or otherwise?

 

[jimbo 111]

Lovely day here
---------------------------------------------------


We had booked for 30 in a local pub/restaurant. Fab evening! As I said to one of my cousins "So lovely for us all to get together when no one has died!"
I liked it

 

[LadyA]

Kittens! Now that's a cheerful thought. Thank you for the cute photo. Is that Atticus as in Finch, the philosopher, or otherwise?

I don't know. I've always found animals sort of name themselves. I've no idea why they are Atticus and Toria, but they couldn't be anything else! Atticus is a very timid, worried looking little thing, who shoots into hiding at any movement. Toria is very much in charge. Nose to the door of the carrier as I brought them home, trying to see everything, and was straight out exploring! Although younger and smaller and missing an eye, she's also by far the better climber! No hesitation, bounds up. Atticus seems to have a bit of difficulty climbing. I'm going to have the vet take a look at his hindquarters when we're in.

 

[Amy in the US]

I well remember the climbing stage as kittens. Nerve wracking does not cover it!

Mine are older and more sedate now; both having afternoon naps, one on my lap. If only they knew the vet is coming shortly!

 

[Sam Luvit]

Hi @jimbo 111

I’m struggling with the changes too, my IT brother took one look & said it’s not been optimised for a tablet , so I just have to keep pulling the page down to avoid getting drop down menus in the middle of my message, or ending up in a different page & trying to get back

Guess we are stuck with it now

 

[LadyA]

Technology schmechnology!

 

[Sam Luvit]

Lol @LadyA

 

[Sam Luvit]

I had to go sort out some bank stuff for me today, it made a change for it to be about me , the lady was lovely, running late, apologised & we joked that I had bought a book to read & was obviously organised

Turns out she’s just out her mum in a care home & is tired of the meddling comments of friends & neighbours telling her what they would do

I loved her comment on one lady, who had been very vocal about how this lady’s Mum “wasn’t that bad” & said she would take her out every week, it wasn’t difficult So she let the friend go ahead, when asked to go with them, she told the friend that it was fine for her to take her Mum alone as she’d been “so kind to offer”. (She went along, but kept out of sight, so she could step in if needed). She said the friend had not been seen since, guess it wasn’t so easy

I’ve told her about TP as you do

 

[Sam Luvit]

I’m hiding in the conservatory otherwise there will be a murder in the house

It’s been a long tiring week, running around after everyone else, naturally Mum had to leave the milk out of the fridge so it’s gone off & that meant I had to shop today again

I said she had to come with me so I could park easier, thank **** for a blue badge. So of course the first thing she does is not wait for me to help & smashes herself in the face with the car door. That’s my fault, then she did the martyr act & I ignored her. (Yes I did feel bad when I saw that she’s cut just above her eyebrow)

We walked in & the TV went straight on, so I’m dodging round her bringing in the shopping, while she’s transfixed by some soap

I decided a quiet coffee was my best option while she got on with her latest TV soap affair

So, I’m relaxing & the door gets yanked open & she tells me I can do dinner now Wow. Yes, I did think her blooming rude

So, sort food. She wanted to watch “something”while we ate , so I trawled & found something. She picked at her food, but by this time I’m too tired to care

I clear the dishes & hear her switch channels, TV off. TV on. TV off .... so I ask what she’s looking for, as you do with gritted teeth & no trace of a smile.

I wanted channel 3 but it’s not working. I take the remote & show her that yes it is on 3 / ITV

No, it’s not on 3, it’s the wrong programme

Again take the remote, pull up the TV guide & tell her it’s on 3 & this programme has 6 more minutes to go, then it’s another soap

Apparently it’s the wrong blooming soap , so pull up the TV guide again & show / tell her what is in each channel.... apparently I’m wrong because she knows there was a second episode tonight

I gave up & walked away. TV gas gone on, off, on, off, on .... channel hopping ... give me strength

So, I’m calming down & she’s back, telling me she’s taking the dog upstairs as he’s crying. He wants to go out & have a pee. But no, I’m wrong

Mid sentence of me telling her to open the back dood & let him out, she yanks the door closed, pulling my good shoulder, and walks off

Don’t argue with dementia. You can take that quote & do something with it. I was not impressed. I was blooming spitting with pain & tiredness & everything

So yes. I broke the cardinal rule.

I yanked that door right back open & told her she was beyond rude, then slammed the door

I’ve been sitting out here, freezing my whatsit off, fuming, but not prepared to face her for about 30 minutes now Suppose I’ll have to brace myself & go back inside, if for no other reason, I need a drink & a comfort break

Roll on midnight

 

[LadyA]

Poor Sam. Big hug to you. xx

 

[Sam Luvit]

Sorry, just needed to rant it out @LadyA

She turned the TV back on, turned the volume right up & went upstairs. She really is being the toddler tantrum tonight

I’m going to have to find a smile & go up to her or it’ll be the first night of going to sleep on an argument & I’m determined not to do that

 

[DollyBird16]

@Sam Luvit
Oh blimey what a day, I can’t believe you caused so much chaos
I have no idea how everything is our fault.
Made me shiver thinking of you sat in the cold, Hope you are back in the warm now.
The tv thing would have got me, pet hate is channel jumping.
We are now hunting for hidden things, deep sigh.
Bring on tomorrow.
I’ve been told today I look old and wrinkly!
I said thank you. X