Can I ... Should I?

[Sam Luvit]

Dishwasher saga starts again , but I’m prepared this time

For some reason I forgot to press the button last night, but after running around today, I noticed it was 1), still full & 2), It was unwashed, so I checked everything & pressed the button

Fast forward to this evening, I unloaded the top shelf, with Mum giving me strange looks (like I’d lost my marbles), , but I didn’t get to put all the plates away as I was cooking etc

Just gone to clear up, remembered the dishes & found Mum has added dirty glasses & a plate in with the clean stuff (not emptied), so I’ve had to sort those out

If I’d left it till tomorrow the whole lot would have needed redoing

I’m learning

 

[Sam Luvit]

Oooops, that posted twice ????

 

[Sam Luvit]

I hope everyone is ok, it’s a bit quiet, I feel like I’m walking around in an empty bar cleaning ashtrays

Hope @Slugsta you are getting some rest, I’m guessing Thursday Man might have been missed, but if you made it, I’m pretty sure from your comments that he will have given you strength. It’s a difficult time for you, but don’t you even think of feeling even a tinge of guilt. You’ve been & continue to be amazing

I’m thinking @rosy18 is probably either doing the knicker dance or recovering with a quiet drink, hope it’s a nice as I’m presently raising a to you

I hope @Margi29 is resting, or at least not struggling on a tough night shift not running ‍♀️ around after everyone

Hey @2jays hows the driveway, I might get to test it when I get the MH back from the garage ⛏

Are you working hard @DollyBird16 or taking a breather? I had to quit work as the juggling wasn’t working any more, but I do admire those that can keep it up

Hope @LadyA & @HillyBilly are recovered from “Brian” & everyone is just busy at the start of the weekend, I know I feel like I’ve been in the go & have managed little today other than a quick read of a few posts

Please let it be a restful weekend

Just thought I’d say “Hi” to everyone

 

[Margi29]

Hi Sam, all quiet on the western front, so to speak
But now I've said that, anything could happen !!

Mums confabulations go from mild to outrageous, but today I'm taking her to local garden centre for a stroll around, maybe have a look at Xmas decorations. After last years shanangans of tree and decorations up in November, I know anything could occur

Thinking of Slugsta at this difficult time, it's a fine line between not wanting to lose your loved one, and knowing once they have gone they are finally at peace and rid of this horrific disease. I was glad when dad was free, but heartbroken too. From experience patients do tend to make their own arrangements on the quiet, as soon as families backs are turned......

Hope all well with you Rosy, I keep reading up on thread x

To anyone else I may have not said hi to, hope that you have a peaceful weekend x

 

[2jays]

Hi to everyone

Keeping slugsta in my thoughts

Hi @Sam Luvit
You welcome anytime to park on the driveway.... but not THE driveway as my car has pride of place there.... and she sulks if I don’t pander to her whims

but only if you promise not to bring ⛏

 

[jugglingmum]

Wish I could say it was all quiet - but teenage strops have featured all week!

 

[Sam Luvit]

Morning @Margi29

I’m not sure if I admire your courage or want to shake my head at you braving going out on a Saturday I’ll admit to not being brave /foolish enough to venture anywhere near shops during the day on a Saturday, far too many people in bad moods I remember your fight over the decorations last year & it all being “over” by November Mum has cancelled Christmas again this year. She’s “not doing it” Apparently it’s all Too much work for me & we never see anyone the rest of the year so she’s not bothering with them

It is a fine line, wanting them to be here, but knowing how horrid it is for them. Dad just had a stroke, no dementia, but he lost 25/30 years of memories over night, he was very confused by who we were & the effects of the fluid on his brain caused hallucinations which we didn’t understand & he was so cross at us for not seeing them. It was so sudden at the end it was shocking, but I’m grateful he didn’t linger as he wasn’t happy. It’s been 2 1/2 Years, so although I miss him, it’s getting easier & we talk about him without tears , well mostly, I get the odd gut punch, but mostly after a bad time with Mum & late at night

Hope the garden centre is beautiful & youndont come away with Halloween decorations instead of tinsel & baubles

 

[Sam Luvit]

Morning @2jays

I’ll try to remember I’m not to punch the pride of place & upset your car. You dint mind if I use her as guidance for parking do you? I’ve got to learn her width n length yet The longer she is at the shop, the more nervous I get about having to drive her

I’ll only bring ⛏ if you want a shelf put up

Give 1Jay a hug from me

 

[Sam Luvit]

Wish I could say it was all quiet - but teenage strops have featured all week!

Hi @jugglingmum, sorry about the strops , apparently they grow out of them (I’ll let you know if my 27year Old ever does) , but youngest has been loverly, so I guess I won 50%

I must catch up with Anne M’s & Other threads to know what’s going on, but it’s been that sort of a week.

Fingers crossed the stops ease soon

 

[rosy18]

Hi everyone
Sam I've opened a bottle of red poured myself a glass whilst I watch Strictly and have got my fingers crossed Mum doesn't want the loo until it's finished. The toilet is really becoming an issue and just before we get there Mum refuses to go in so back we go and sit down then up again over and over then when eventually we get in the pulling knickers down with Mum still hanging onto them is exhausting. I don't know how Mum holds onto her wee for so long and despite laxido we are now 5 days without a bowl movement again so I'm praying that will happen over the weekend.Got to laugh really my life is ruled by the toilet

Can't wait for you to get the motor home back Sam wish I could see your Mums reaction

Margi been thinking of you and wondering how you are. Hope the garden centre outing went well. I'm still wondering what to do, last year Mum was talking to the tree and when I put the lights on it caused to many reflections,shadows so couldn't put the lights on and Mum couldn't grasp it was Christmas at all so think I will just treat it as any other time and just stay at home together. I drove us to my cousins daughter last year she'd invited us for Xmas dinner but had to turn the car round and come home as Mum got anxious.

Slugsta thinking of you and your dear Mum

Hope the weekend is kind to everyone
Back to strictly

 

[Sam Luvit]

Evening @rosy18

I’ll raise a glass to you in a bit, I’ve just got back from dropping big brother home, still got to cook, Although I’m now slightly stumped as Mum is dozing in her chair & im not sure if food is going to be well received, but I’m starving, so I’m going to cook

I keep thinking you need to sing to her & my dark humour came up with ...

I’m weeing in the rain
Just weeing in the rain
What a wonderful feeling to be weeing again .

I’m not making light of your struggles, just thinking of what might help. I’m so not looking forward to this from Mum, but by all I’ve read, it’s a common problem

When I do get the Motorhome back, I’m going to be firing up the heating & making sure I can keep it warm, otherwise it’ll be a non starter with Mum. I keep seeing things & thinking, that’ll go well in the Motorhome

Hope everyone is snuggled up inside, ready for a whole extra hour in bed

 

[DollyBird16]

Hi @rosy18
Joined you with the vino and strictly, apart from the numerous up and down, and the toilet visits where Mum won’t go because people are in there watching, then gets desperate to go and cannot get there quick enough!
Now we are on the repeated checking of everything but wants me as a second check......fancy another glass!
@Sam Luvit you joining us? hope dinner worked out ok. I am so excited about extra hour. X

 

[Sam Luvit]

I am so full. I need to stretch out so I can breath, Mum ate almost the whole portion. Said it was gorgeous Steak, onions & button mushrooms in a cream sauce

As she finished, she made the mistake of saying she couldn’t eat another thing, not even pudding So I told her how I’d really fancied some pudding the other day, having found a chocolate mouse in the fridge, but when I went to get it out, it was gone .... she only admitted to having it , she did apologise

 

[Sam Luvit]

P

@Sam Luvit[/USER] you joining us? hope dinner worked out ok. I am so excited about extra hour. X

Cheers me dears

Do you have a mirror in your bathroom @DollyBird16 ? Have you trued covering it up so no one can want her your mum in the bathroom?

 

[jugglingmum]

To combine several themes going on here - just had a motorhome and toilet conversation with daughter - she couldn't locate toilets so had to use the on board one - turns out she'd walked in wrong direction in the dark (they had an hour long tour of Hereford on the way there as well - road closed, diversion had a height restriction). OH found toilets. Anyway up come of conversation is we won't empty on board toilet just yet ( I know I know shades of Hillybilly) and will wait until it has been used a few more times (I've used it once a few weeks back). Non liquids will be an instant emptying though.

 

[Sam Luvit]

I’m putting an all out ban on non liquids @jugglingmum ... just uggggh I’m also thinking of adopting the Greek holiday idea of putting a “bin” for all paper lol. Do you think that will help????

 

[Sam Luvit]

I’m feeling sort of peaceful, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking & reflecting & right now, this minute today, I feel like things are going ok

Mums still tidying, I’m still frustrated, the disease marches on, but it’s little things, the things that keep me going, the things that let me know just maybe I might be getting a few things right

My brother came over today. Nothing special, no drama. We all chatted. He waited till we got here to tell a story, as he wanted Mum to hear it too (that’s pretty much a first). He got a good result at work, he’s pleased & wanted to share his good news.

I took him shopping as it’s easy for me to do & not so easy for him, we laughed walking round & chatted about nothing. It was normal. Normal is not overrated, it’s blooming nice

He wanted to watch a football game, I checked the details & set it up. We all sat & watched it together. Mum, brother & I. Mums not big on the game, but came into the lounge & brother & I were in & out getting drinks, finding things, calling out to “come see”. We laughed. We cheered. We chatted. It was normal

I had the easy relationship with my brother today that we had years ago, it felt good.

No tension. No melt downs. No sulks. Just chatting about rubbish & laughing about rubbish. I’ve missed that. Didn’t realise how much till today.

Mums gone to bed smiling.

 

[DollyBird16]

@Sam Luvit
Lovely to read your ‘normal’ day so pleased for you. I crave that time with brother to get him to understand, if only he would stay with Mum long enough to see the times when the wires cross. He sees some of the muddled stuff but not the terrified, sobbing.
Mum hears people doesn’t see them, they can even be hiding in the toilet.
Thank you for the mirror advice, will defo give it a go.

Hope today’s brings some peace and maybe a smile for many.
I love the extra hour determined not to move from my bed til 8. X

 

[Sam Luvit]

Hi @DollyBird16

It wasn’t always like this with big brother, he promised to help out, but then didn’t. He only came round when I phoned, nagged & pleaded & I had to collect him & drop him home. It’s taken 2 long years for him to suggest coming over, get the train over himself or drop in on his way home from a client. I had to back off from asking him to do anything with Mum, he supports me & only me, not Mum. So with the pressure off him to do anything, he gradually came round to being there for me so I can look after Mum

Does you Mum have hearing aids? Maybe there is some distortion. Can she hear a radio or tv but not making the connection of noises. I’m just thinking out loud

 

[Sam Luvit]

Well, fast forward 24 hours & what a difference. Eldest came over & it was all angst & agro. He is one cross little boy. I suggested it was time he stopped blaming everyone else & took responsibility for his life, he’s nearer 30 than 20 for heavens sake

I’ve spent a few hours pulling kitchen Units off walls for P in her new flat & I’m now home, dinner is in, cheat chicken in a bag , I’m off for a long soak in the shower & hopefully a relaxing evening