APPROACHING END WITH MUM : EVERY DAY IS DIFFERENT
- Thread starter Jezzer
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Hello my friend. Thank you for this. You must have known!! The calm feeling of late has been replaced by great anxiety this morning. I guess things are just getting to me more than I realised. Very tearful too. How are you? Xxxxxx
Im sorry you are feeling tearful - I dont think the heat helps at all either.
Roller coaster emotions are to be expected. Try saying to yourself "today I am feeling sad (or however you are feeling)" acknowledge it and keep going. I find it helps
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Roller coaster emotions are to be expected. Try saying to yourself "today I am feeling sad (or however you are feeling)" acknowledge it and keep going. I find it helps
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You are most certainly not stupid in not feeling able to stop crying. Crying is a release of emotion and is beneficial in respect of cardiac health. I too went through literally years of 'palpitations' and quite alarming heartbeat behaviour and down the years received monitoring, ecg's and all the rest of it - to find no problem. I eventually discovered that my 'mind' was the culprit. Stress and that deeper anxiety which seems to remain dormant, yet is very real. The brain is so very powerful and thus effects our bodies in so many ways.
And touching on the current situation, which entails enormous levels of energy borne out of anxiety and everything else which relates to 'expectation' and one's profound relationship to someone so very dear and fundamental in one's life - a mother - the act of crying should be part of that when and as it happens and not seen as a weakness whatsoever. And even when it seems to be contrary to the way one is feeling, there will be tears of joy somewhere within that very crying, and those tears inform the heart in a way which is beyond any words, save perhaps one. Love.
Thank you so much for this beautiful and reassuring message. I do suspect the worsened ectopic beats are a result of my mind but I will soon find out. My darling mum continues to sleep, I continue to be with her as much as I can and there is such a strong feeling of the love you mention in the room. The tears wont stop but yes I think I need this release. Your words are always so profound and comforting. Thank you once more x
Hello Toony
Thank you so much for this xxx Johnny doesn't seem too well at the moment but these are thoughtful words from him. I will post my news when I get home. Sending my Love and Gratitude xxxx
Hello there
Well, after all the tears earlier, I received a wonderful and priceless gift this morning. As I walked down the corridor towards mum's room, I could hear her calling out her own name; the first vocalization for a while. She was out of her deep sleep but drifting in and out. My usual greeting, kisses and I love you mum. She replied(!) "and I love you". Well I wasn't expecting that! I then said how are you mum and she said "allright love".
I really, really thought she would not respond again and yet this incredible, utterly amazing lady once again leaves me speechless. She then began calling out again and a few words I couldnt make out but when I began to tell her what's been happening, she was quiet so I'm not sure if she understood but she was definitely listening. She is so thin and pale but, again, there appears to be no distress. This has made my day!
I realised also this morning that my gymnastic heart has settled a little since my transfusion so I am hoping my ecg will indicate nothing more than my usual ectopic beat. I know anaemia can cause heart irregularities so perhaps it just worsened a harmless condition I've lived with for many years. As Elton John sang "I'm Still Standing"! Well sitting actually but you know what I mean.
I have to say, like so many of you, I'm finding the heat today almost intolerable and feel quite nauseous. I'm sure that's all it is. The poor Hostess at the NH looked awful. Said she had a headache and felt dizzy. I got out of my chair and said please sit down for a while. She thanked me but refused. "Too busy". Yes the Residents need their drinks etc but surely the staff need taking care of too? As I always say, the nurses and carers do a wonderful job but it must be awful for them in this heat and they are just getting on with it. A huge shout out from me to everyone who is doing this most difficult of tasks, be it families or those working in hospitals, Care and Nursing Homes. Thank you all so very much.
Well that's my "report" for today. As always my love to you all and in particular, those with loved ones nearing the end of this cruel, and undeserved disease. Jan xxxx
Well, after all the tears earlier, I received a wonderful and priceless gift this morning. As I walked down the corridor towards mum's room, I could hear her calling out her own name; the first vocalization for a while. She was out of her deep sleep but drifting in and out. My usual greeting, kisses and I love you mum. She replied(!) "and I love you". Well I wasn't expecting that! I then said how are you mum and she said "allright love".
I really, really thought she would not respond again and yet this incredible, utterly amazing lady once again leaves me speechless. She then began calling out again and a few words I couldnt make out but when I began to tell her what's been happening, she was quiet so I'm not sure if she understood but she was definitely listening. She is so thin and pale but, again, there appears to be no distress. This has made my day!
I realised also this morning that my gymnastic heart has settled a little since my transfusion so I am hoping my ecg will indicate nothing more than my usual ectopic beat. I know anaemia can cause heart irregularities so perhaps it just worsened a harmless condition I've lived with for many years. As Elton John sang "I'm Still Standing"! Well sitting actually but you know what I mean.
I have to say, like so many of you, I'm finding the heat today almost intolerable and feel quite nauseous. I'm sure that's all it is. The poor Hostess at the NH looked awful. Said she had a headache and felt dizzy. I got out of my chair and said please sit down for a while. She thanked me but refused. "Too busy". Yes the Residents need their drinks etc but surely the staff need taking care of too? As I always say, the nurses and carers do a wonderful job but it must be awful for them in this heat and they are just getting on with it. A huge shout out from me to everyone who is doing this most difficult of tasks, be it families or those working in hospitals, Care and Nursing Homes. Thank you all so very much.
Well that's my "report" for today. As always my love to you all and in particular, those with loved ones nearing the end of this cruel, and undeserved disease. Jan xxxx
My goodness gracious Jan, what a wonderful episode, wondrous. Your beautiful, loving, gentle, gorgeous mum and the bond between you, that wonderful bond. I am so so grateful to you for sharing this.
I agree, the heat is almost intolerable today and I feel my head is full of wool, no brain. It is pretty ghastly. And yes, so much what you said about the amazing nurses and carers, so much. More anon, thank you with all heart. Geraldinexxx
Lovely report Jan @Jezzer
So pleased your mum could communicate ( and what wonderful communication!!) and seemed reasonably content. No apparent distress, that's a great thing
And I can just imagine her "alright love" as being something she's said to you over the years. What a great visit, thank you for telling us about it.I agree about the care staff, they get a big shout out from me too.
For the first time in this heat I felt a bit dizzy today. Nothing much and a lie down sorted it out - but still, I am sure we can all do with some relief.
Glad you're feeling a bit better Jan.
Love as ever
Lindy xx
Thanks Lindy. Yes, mum's often said "alright love" over the years so that was great. Isn't it incredible that this should happen on what was a "bad" morning for me? We had a cloudburst here earlier but it's made no difference and I agree, we could all do with some respite from the heat. Often think about you Lindy. Take care. Much Love Jan xxxLovely report Jan @Jezzer
So pleased your mum could communicate ( and what wonderful communication!!) and seemed reasonably content. No apparent distress, that's a great thing
I agree about the care staff, they get a big shout out from me too.
For the first time in this heat I felt a bit dizzy today. Nothing much and a lie down sorted it out - but still, I am sure we can all do with some relief.
Glad you're feeling a bit better Jan.
Love as ever
Lindy xx
Thanks Carmar. Yes @Hazara8 posts wonderful, thoughtful messages which I'm sure bring so much comfort to many people, certainly to me.
Hearing mum's words today was truly wonderful!
Take care my friend
Love Jan xxxx
And 'thank you' so much. for sharing something so very special to you. . The love for a mother
is devoid of all material things and the plethora of today's 'culture'. And there is great beauty in
that, because it is yours, and yours alone. And yes, even in this sophisticated and frantic world, all of that falls away when you touch that 'something' which cannot be explained,but
which you know is true. It was there at conception and will be there for ever. And it will be there,
even whilst your mother sleeps. Nothing can change that. Not even dementia.
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