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APPROACHING END WITH MUM : EVERY DAY IS DIFFERENT

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by Jezzer, Jul 5, 2018.

  1. Jezzer

    Jezzer Registered User

    Jun 12, 2016
    984
    Female
    Lincoln, UK
    Thanks @Lindy50 I'm just going to say I've come crashing down today, have been putting on a brave face and something simple went wrong this afternoon which tipped me over. I will get over this but Im not going to post again until I've settled down. Please, please don't be offended folks but I would really be grateful if no-one sends messages for now. I just need a little space. I love you all dearly and I promise I'll resume my activities on TP as soon as I feel able to. Thanks so much. Love & best wishes. Jan xxx
     
  2. Jezzer

    Jezzer Registered User

    Jun 12, 2016
    984
    Female
    Lincoln, UK
    Hello my friends
    I'm back after a break due to a few health problems which I know some of you are aware of. Briefly, I needed a blood transfusion due to anaemia and I finally feel so much better. No more blackouts thank goodness. My ecg results came today and whilst I'm having a lot of ectopic heartbeats, they've calmed a bit but they believe they are a result of the anaemia and ongoing stress. My heart is strong and no sign of disease. I have to try and reduce my stress levels (fat chance) and look after myself properly. @Lindy50 - I know you'll understand my relief at results. I'm having another ecg in 6 months and I'll have regular blood tests.
    Now the important stuff! Mum is hanging in there. This week she has started eating more! Some days, like today, awake on and off and cheerful and others, she just sleeps all day. She never fails to amaze me. I will be catching up with your threads & send love and best wishes. x
     
  3. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,302
    Cotswolds
    Hello @Jezzer - so good to see you back :)
    I'm very pleased to hear your ECG results and understand your relief. I am soooo pleased - I was worried for a while there!
    Good also to hear that your mum is hanging in there, and has been cheerful.
    You just make sure you take care of yourself now!!
    Love
    Lindy xx
     
  4. Jezzer

    Jezzer Registered User

    Jun 12, 2016
    984
    Female
    Lincoln, UK
    Thanks so much Lindy. Hope you're OK my friend? I will read your thread. Much Love Jan xxxx
     
  5. Hair Twiddler

    Hair Twiddler Registered User

    Aug 14, 2012
    881
    Middle England
    Hi Jan,
    Good news about ECG, hang in there.
     
  6. Jezzer

    Jezzer Registered User

    Jun 12, 2016
    984
    Female
    Lincoln, UK
    Thank you @Hair Twiddler . I'm hanging in!! :confused: x
     
  7. Hair Twiddler

    Hair Twiddler Registered User

    Aug 14, 2012
    881
    Middle England
    Hey Jan...Have you got something (however small) planned for tomorrow that will give you some pleasure?...Really think you should. x
     
  8. Jezzer

    Jezzer Registered User

    Jun 12, 2016
    984
    Female
    Lincoln, UK
    I try and do this whenever I can so will get my thinking cap. Thanks!
     
  9. Jale

    Jale Registered User

    Jul 9, 2018
    246
    Female
    Good to hear that everything went ok with your transfusion and the ecg results. Take care x
     
  10. Jezzer

    Jezzer Registered User

    Jun 12, 2016
    984
    Female
    Lincoln, UK
    Thanks so much. Take care too xx
     
  11. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,962
    Female
    East Midlands

    Jan!!! So pleased to have you back on here! You have been missed but your health is so important so I am glad you are feeling better & that your mum is as good as she can be!
    Maybe you need to try to meditate a bit & just find the time to chill out more which I know can be hard to do xxxxx
     
  12. Toony Oony

    Toony Oony Registered User

    Jun 21, 2016
    477
    Good morning @Jezzer - so pleased that you are feeling better and the ECG results showed nothing troublesome. Your blood transfusion will have helped the anaemia, now it's time to try and find something that will help you wind down and de-stress just a little each day ... My own faves are: sitting or laying down quietly listening to Classic FM or a favourite piece of music; half an hour zoning out in my hot tub (I seem to do it better there than anywhere else!!?!) playing the piano; doing a bit of crafting - something simple and a bit boring that I don't have to pay too much attention to! If you're anything like me, once you have found the thing that works for you, even the anticipation of taking a bit of time out to do it makes you feel better.
    Glad that Mum is eating a little more - wish mine would.

    Take care
    X
     
  13. Jezzer

    Jezzer Registered User

    Jun 12, 2016
    984
    Female
    Lincoln, UK
    Hi my friend. Thank you! Yes that's pretty much what I've been told so I'll try! Just on way to see mum so will get back to you later? Much Love Jan xxxxx
    Hello Toony. Am looking into de-stressing! I hope your mum's appetite picks up. This is only temporary with mum we know and quite strange but then everything with dementia is strange to say the least isn't it??!!! Take care xxxx
     
  14. Jezzer

    Jezzer Registered User

    Jun 12, 2016
    984
    Female
    Lincoln, UK
    Hi Monica - I was sure I replied briefly to your message saying I was just going to see mum and that I'de get back to you but I can't see it - so sorry. Just back from NH. Mum has begun to call out for her late sister and I could hear her as I was walking to her room. Also calling out her own name so it gets a bit confusing! Received that gorgeous smile but I think she thought I was Audrey. I never, ever contradict her, just try and work around it! We learn to get pretty adept at this don't we? How is your dear mum and how are things progressing with the house? That's a lot to answer and you're very busy so please get back to me when you can. Much Love, Jan xxxx
     
  15. Jezzer

    Jezzer Registered User

    Jun 12, 2016
    984
    Female
    Lincoln, UK
    @Kikki21 and @Toony Oony Oh dear, you can tell my head is still not right! My promised longer reply was sent to you Toony and not you Monica! Apologies.
    So Toony, would you accept my reply to kikki as being sent to you too? Hope I've got it right this time. If anyone can mess things up - it's me!!! I've been reading both your recent posts. Difficult times. Sending hugs and love to you both xxxx
     
  16. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,962
    Female
    East Midlands
    Hey Jan no worries at all! It’s all very up & down this journey isn’t it. I’m so glad your mum is still smiling at you. I do feel guilty about not going to see my mum today but needs must at the moment so after the weekend, we should have more time. Big hugs to you @Jezzer xxxxx
     
  17. Jezzer

    Jezzer Registered User

    Jun 12, 2016
    984
    Female
    Lincoln, UK
    Thank you xxxxxx
     
  18. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,302
    Cotswolds
    Morning Jan @Jezzer
    Hope you're feeling okay today. I wonder whether you're not sleeping well?
    Love
    Lindy xx
     
  19. Jezzer

    Jezzer Registered User

    Jun 12, 2016
    984
    Female
    Lincoln, UK
    Morning @Lindy50 I have to say last night was more comfortable but, no, sleep has not been forthcoming during the heat and, of course, it's been the case for most of us I think. I also think anxiety has contributed too these past weeks; worrying about Mum - which I always do - and concern about what was wrong with me. I have been incredibly fortunate that my health issues are being addressed and that they were just due to anaemia combined with stress. I just didn't appreciate how poorly worry can make you. A friend remarked the other day that mum is being well cared for. That's true but, as we've discussed before, it doesn't stop the worry. Hearing mum calling for her late sister over and over and then confusing me with her is, I know, part of the progression of the illness but - and of course you and other good folk here on TP know so well - each new and downward development, breaks another piece of our hearts. I'm "prattling" again! You only kindly asked about my sleeping and in return get the chapter of a book - apologies!! o_O. The Prattler is back!
    How about you Lindy? Have you managed to sleep during the night? It doesn't help us cope during the day if we don't does it? Was with mum one day last week when I did actually nod off briefly. Thankfully mum was fast on!! Please keep me posted and Much Love to you and your Mum and all your family ;) xxxxxx
     
  20. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,302
    Cotswolds
    Hi jan @Jezzer
    No, I haven't been sleeping well, either. Feel much better today actually as it has cooled down substantially here. Still warm enough for me to be sitting here in a sleeveless dress, though....
    Yes, worry and stress can make you ill, I know that only too well :oops: I thought I had it under control recently....until my little meltdown about the holiday, which shocked me, and I now find faintly embarrassing!!
    I think I need to do something like Tai Chi. I used to meditate but now can't keep the worry out of my mind....
    All the best to you Jan. Keep smiling :)
    Love
    Lindy xx
     
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