Am I Asking For Trouble ?????????

[sleepless]

It sounds like a software problem then.
If no-one with the experience is around to welcome and properly advise newcomers, they will drop down the page, unless bumped up by 'quick' welcomes and sympathy until someone with the right knowledge comes along.
Or we limit members to one post per thread.
There is always private messaging if a second post is felt necessary, but others could miss out on good info.
Or we ask the moderators to deliberately and transparently bump new threads until the right response comes along.
None of these sound ok. It's a problem with how the software works.

 

[Tender Face]

At the risk of having to accuse myself of ‘bumping up this thread’ – I did want to come back and respond for two reasons especially:

1) Sleepless, you did not offend and I did not mean to suggest you did (see I can tie myself in knots without even trying!!!!)

2) Sister Millicent – your words jumped out at me.

I repeat myself many many times, but I don't mind doing that and am not bothered if "the regulars" think oh god, I have heard her say that before, because the new poster is the one who matters.

I confess just recently I recognised I had trotted out the same old, same old about issues particularly close to my heart that remain with me now - and wondered ‘folk’ might think ‘Oh, there’s Karen again on her hobby horse’ – like a record stuck - and actually hesitated to post when I have been able. You are so right. Thank you. If it helps the new poster seeking support then ‘tough’ (my words) if anyone else is yawning!!!!!

I have loved the wisdom shared on this thread. I will continue my own sweet way of accessing the forum – knowing it works for me to work my way through as and when I have the time – and ignore those threads I have absolutely no interest in!

Love, Karen, x

 

[Sandy]

Welcoming new members

I just thought that I would add this link to this thread, in case anyone was interested.

It is a link to the TP Members List, sorted by most recent member first:

http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/memberlist.php?&order=desc&sort=joindate&pp=30&page=1

From this listing you can quickly see who has joined, how many posts they have made and the information that they have given about their location, interest in TP and occupation.

I used this list regularly as a moderator and am using it still, as it gives me a quick and easy snapshot of new members on TP.

 

[Jancis]

Hi Jimbo,
Your thread has prompted some interesting comments from members. I don't know if the administrator can answer this, but is the forum becoming a victim of its own success as there appears to be so many new members joining every day compared to when I joined in June last year.

As a new member I often felt slightly intimidated by some of the replies from our very learned and experienced moderators and members. I also felt the Tea Room a bit alien as I had no idea what the chat was all about on some of the longer threads. If it were not for the fact that a few members sent me PM's and we became 'friends' I think I would have given up trying to fathom my way round all the new posts and trying to get to the ones that I could actually contribute to. The only way through it is to keep logging on regularly and as I work from home I am able to do this.

It is a great comfort to me and so many others to get support from TP but I wonder what the fall-out of new members is now compared to recent history?

 

[jimbo 111]

With reference to the post by Sandy (Today POst No 23) I was flabbergasted to find that there has been nearly 700 new registered members since January 1st this year
By my observations , and the reason I am interested to know if the system could be improved to help New Members, I thought there seemed to be 4-5 a day, but 700 in less than 3months is staggering
Qute a number of these new members appear not to have made any posts
They may be like I was when I first registered, I scanned the
threads and posts daily until I gained the confidence to make my first tentative posts
I hope they will join in and share their own experiences with other members
It would be interesting to know if the influx of recent new
members is higher than in the past,and if so what may be the reason? The often reported increase in A D sufferers??
Or the increased recognition that TP is an invaluable Forum ??
for those who have to live daily (and nightly) with the problems of A D
One final word on the statistics of membership I am amazed at the number of members ( I suspect younger people ) who are caring for mums, dads, grandparents, etc,
I really admire their courage and tenacity
I cared for my wife , and I live in hope that I will never burden my sons with this terrible task
My thanks to all those who have responded to this thread
it has been very informative
jimbo 111

 

[Izzy]

One final word on the statistics of membership I am amazed at the number of members ( I suspect younger people ) who are caring for mums, dads, grandparents, etc,
I really admire their courage and tenacity
I cared for my wife , and I live in hope that I will never burden my sons with this terrible task
My thanks to all those who have responded to this thread
it has been very informative
jimbo 111

Well, I'm not a younger person but I am caring for my mum who has vascular dementia (she is 93) and my husband who has Alzheimer's (he, at 80 is almost 21 years older than me). I don't think it's easy if it's your parent or your spouse. There are different worries and pressures and feelings involved. I have to admit it's my husband I am saddest about. I hope that doesn't sound awful.

 

[jenniferpa]

We generally have an increase in members every month over the previous year's month, and there is also normally a fairly substantial increase around holidays (e.g. Christmas).

 

[sistermillicent]

That doesnt sound awful Izzy, I think I would be the same. I am glad that other people are concerned about new members, if any of you new members are reading this then PLEASE POST, and have the confidence to respond to others, whatever you have to say is valuable and means a great deal to all of us, whether we have posted once or a thousand times.

Pippa

 

[nicoise]

Another idea on the point about many new members, but not perhaps many of them posting: yes, the word about the Alz Soc is getting around, and many people use the internet for information in increasingly larger numbers.

If you (for instance) Google (uk) something as simple as "alzheimer's, won't wash", as you sit at home thinking your dementia sufferer is the only person doing this and you haven't felt able to ask anyone about it, a TP forum post is at the top of list of search results - and you find it certainly isn't only you going through this. That was how I found the website last year - then read the forum, finally joined and started posting - over a period of a couple of months.

This website and the forum give a lot of very detailed and useful information about dementia - probably one of the best sources of both factual and realistic living with dementia information available.

I found myself that I was able to glean a lot of the information I needed by reading the website helpsheets and forum postings without actually needing to ask a specific question; perhaps new members are finding the same thing.

When I log on to the website, my default setting is for the TP Home Page - I can then select which section of the Forum I want to look at, scan over the list of postings and read those that I wish, or which leap off the screen at me. Sometimes I am "in the mood" for the more serious postings, sometimes I need the brevity of the Tearoom as I need to escape too much reality. If it is not for me I leave it and read elsewhere. Yes, some people seem to need more support than others - but there is much quiet joy to be had when a member who has struggled over months starts to be able to cope better with their problems in life, and this is reflected in their posts. I learn so much from the Forum, and it is an enormous support to me as I wend my meandering way through the dementia pathway. I guess we are all looking for different levels of support and hopefully each of us finds what we need in our own way....

 

[seaurchin]

I am a relatively new member to TP and don't log in every day or week.

I think this forum is excellent as it is. Maybe some members find relief and friendship by 'social networking' (for want of a better phrase) on the site and I don't really see that this is a problem at all. A little light relief and sometimes quite amusing posts are very welcome in amongst the sadness.

When I was a new member and at my most desperate for support TP really made a difference to my life as I no longer felt isolated and coping alone anymore.

I just sought out my new posts and replies when I joined and always found them quite easily. I shall be forever grateful to this site and the wise words I received. So please if it ain't broke...........

Keep up the great work.

Helen

 

[scared daughter]

I am a tad lost in this post, what is "bumping up"? this is the first time I have ever used a place like this and I now am not sure what I should be doing and if I am breaking any etiquette of postings.

I think as well, if like me you don't feel you don't have vast amounts of knowladge or insight it is very hard to help new people. So many of us are in new unchartered territory and I am probably guilty of being one of those who assumes someone who knows will be along, I do agree though it is hard to reply to an open non specific request for help.

I feel less confident on this now.

 

[Izzy]

Oh don't lose confidence here. I've read your posts and they are very supportive. Like you I tend not to post if I have no experience of something. Bumping up only means if someone posts to a thread which is lower down the list then it 'bumps' back up to the top of the list of your unread threads. Other than it being abusive or hurtful I don't think there is any etiquette. Just keep doing what you've been doing. I think it's a shame if this thread has made people worry about what or how they post. I'm sure that wasn't the intention. Take care.

 

[scared daughter]

Oh thanks Izzy,

It is so difficult not knowing what your doing - I find myself often in those circustances xx

 

[imac.girll1]

Jimbo - a very interesting thread you have started here, and in the past the same type of thread has been posted.

For me personally i never go to the new posts section, its just not the way i do it. I go to the main list on the front page as such and go to the

Support for people with dementia and their carers

area first. If there is something i can add to of value or possibly some knowledge having been in same situation then i will. I try to welcome new users aswell, but i often find that they say 'hello - i'm such and such' and so on, and we offer the best reply we can in the circumstances, and even encouraging them to post more info to receive more help, but many do not wish to do this and then disappear.

For the 2 years i have used this forum, (and before that many other networking sites due to my work then), the most recent posts often fall by the way side.

I hope I myself do not start too many 'new' threads, but in my case i have no one else to talk to about my many years of caring for both father and then my mother. I have no partner and a lot of time no one who can in sense give me an immediate answer to some worry or stressful point in my day. I will start a new thread but then i add to it as a diary, which in my case is being kept due to a possible complaints procedure, and so i am guilty of 'bumping up' posts, just as i am guilty of doing this right now to this one!

I am frustrated that many new users do not continue to post, but for me it is a lifeline, and i dont necessarily believe that their posting being moved down in order of list is an unfair way of doing things. Most (I do generalise), computer users these days - what ever their age - are more than capable of finding and understanding where their post has gone to, equally i suppose why post if you do not intend to visit the site ever again?

I know if i ever have problems or confusions over etiquette, I will contact the mods, who have always been helpful and put me in the right direction.

I personally can not see how different the site can or could work in reference to new posts, except to go to the areas which you personally believe you can help in.

Hope i have not trodden on any toes

xx

 

[sleepless]

Hello, imac,
You work with computers so I suppose we should have sought your advice on this one!
There was a thread some time back, from a user who seemed to find it annoying that light-hearted posts (ie.Tea Room, Jokes etc) were appearing adjacent to serious, often heartrending ones.
But this only happens if you use 'New Posts'.
I never do. I always choose the section I wish to visit, like you, and that way the newest posts in each section can be looked at quite seperately.
At the time of the previous thread about all this, I felt intimidated (as Scared Daughter, above) and wondered if I'd done something wrong myself. A helpful PM from someone put my mind at rest and I stayed.
Very often a new poster is not a new user of this forum. Some have been reading it, gaining help from it for a long time before they post. Others find it, and post straight away. Others post with a query, then don't post for months unless they have another question.
So I'm with you, imac -- quote
'I personally can not see how different the site can or could work in reference to new posts, except to go to the areas which you personally believe you can help in.' and I would add, or are interested in.
New posts don't drop down the page as quickly if you go to the specific section rather than the blanket 'New Posts.'

regards, sleepless.

 

[jimbo 111]

Though I do not regret starting this thread, I feel rather guilty to find some members thinking that the purpose was to restrict or reduce the opportunity to post matters not directly connected to their care of AD .
That is very far from the truth, I take a great delight in reading the experiences (humerous or otherwise)
THe sole purpose of my thread was to ask
Is there some better way that TP can help those new members when it appears that their first posting slips out of sight before many members will have seen it,
Some of the posts have shown me a better way use the system
, and I am grateful for that,
i don't think I should say any more on this subject,
except to point out to those who seem to think I am a killjoy to the ligthearted threads
I don't think any of us joined TP in the first instance to have a lighthearted dicussion We wanted the advice and wisdom of members with similar problems
We found the humour and lighthearted atmosphere when we became involved either through taking an active part or in reading the posts,and we are grateful for it
jimbo 111

 

[sleepless]

jimbo, I think a lot of us have learned something through this thread, so don't feel guilty.

The conclusion surely is that the only thing that stops new threads disappearing from view too quickly is that someone replies to them. So even though a quick welcome doesn't give the answer they may be seeking, at least it lets them see they are being heard/read, and keeps the thread in view.

regards, sleepless.

 

[Jancis]

Hi again Jimbo,
As you can see my post has been moved but not to your thread as I requested!

 

[jenniferpa]

Well there seemed to be some disagreement about that Jancis. As I read it, Jimbo didn't want your thread merged with his. I'm happy to do it if I get a request from both of you.