28 June 2024 8.30am. As we're week 4 of 6 week post hospital care package, trying to get OH back to our old system of different coloured plastic tot shot glasses (poundshop 1.00 for 10) for meds at different times of day. 6 times. I've now put the times on the pots too eg 8AM. Love permanent markers. 7am yellow shot tot, 8am clear, 10am pink, 1pm blue, 4pm green, 7pm clear again. Times in black marker, 7pm one very thick ink to differentiate from 8am. The cogs in automated pill dispenser are too unreliable, so using as a very annoying timer OH has to tip over then tip back to stop. Went through tots 3 times before support worker came at 8. Tots in a row. OH all over the place. 8am tot had pills in. Shut off alarm after prompt. Several goes to find 8am tot.......This time last year, he had a week's worth of tots set out and reminders on his phone and timed texts from me as I was away, as mum was dying, and then later for the funeral. He only messed up when he knocked the tots on the floor... But had enough sense to only take the smallest capsule at each reminder, to avoid overdose.... Frightening how far he's deteriorated in a year...... But he only had memory and minor speech problems when we got married pre diagnosis in April 2022......This is going too fast for us to manage..... So, pending loss of support workers and waiting for Alcove system, back to shot tot system, 7pm support worker cancelled as I'm nearly always home. I do 7am anyway, probably cancel 8am next Monday onwards. If I go out I'll just leave one or two shot tots out by the alarm. Community nurses will cary on coming 8.30am ish and 5pm ish for his insulin jabs anyway. They won't do anything else only call 999 if he's at risk.... He has a simple phone he doesn't always remember to keep in his pocket......Feel like I'm treading on broken glass all the time
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OH always wants jobs to do as bored, feels useless. Given a job he either tires quickly, says I don't do that, or gets distracted. Asked him to empty dishwasher and after prompting him not to put dirty stuff in, left him to it. Big mistake! He must have stopped as soon as I left. Most clean crockery left in dishwasher with a couple of dirty crocks added. Then he wonders why he's got no jobs to do. 🤔
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Just tripped, fell and banged my nose on chest of drawers, cut and bruised, not broken. OH lots of sympathy and from nurse who came to recheck his high blood sugar. OH volunteered to do his own lunch, could not find or identify frozen baked potato, tin of Ratatouille or large plate on his own. Trouble getting potato out of bag, ditto opening tin. Into microwave. He reckoned he could do this alone. Left him to it. Wandered off within 5 minutes. Potato ready. Had to call him. Blank expression when reminded to get and eat his lunch. Place set at table, he's eating at the counter top beside the microwave. I give up. I'm just the Doitall Reminder Robot even when I'm a bit broken🤕
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6.25pm. He's fine. I went to the city and fetched some of his medication and did a bit of shopping. How come he ignores diet and medical protocols and gets away with it? Is he instinctively recognising something in his diabetes going pear shaped, and taking instinctive measures to put it right before his sugar actually goes low. Weird. Infuriating! 😂
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8PM. Another long, lonely frustrating evening as he's opted out and gone to bed because of Parkinsons tremors and dementia confusion. I'm not off duty as I have to monitor his blood sugar in case it goes too low during tremors. He wants to be miserable and deathly quiet in a darkened room, won't sit up to help himself breathe, or do stretching that might stop tremors. And he's crumpled 3 pairs of trousers on the floor. He literally has dozens. Never bought any that fitted, then told me he didn't have any so we wasted 100.00 in Spring on 6 pairs that are the wrong size and have button fly he can't do up. He wouldn't let me in the changing room.... Not buying more. We don't have a budget yet as my work pension only started last month. He only has State pension and we've spent my redundancy pay as he wanted to save his pension for that year. I have been a total idiot always fixing things for him since I was made redundant . Only got dementia diagnosis in September. We can't keep up with the deterioration. Today has highlighted that he gives no thought or credence to HIS wedding vows to love honour and cherish in sickness and in health. I went to the city after a bad shock of tripping over furniture. My nose was badly cut, bruised, bleeding, but off I went to get his meds and his favourite jellies. I now have two black eyes and he hasn't noticed. He only worried that dinner took ages. Ten minutes in the microwave from frozen. Then he just went off to bed, claiming to have too many tremors to take his anti tremor meds. I practically had to force them down him as he couldn't be asked to get the pot off the kitchen table. I'd be better off dead. I have no life and no marriage and it is making me ill. Rant over. I won't write any more today. I just feel worse