https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c0jjq2vynq7o
Interesting Reading…….need time to think on that one
Interesting Reading…….need time to think on that one
Euthanasia and Dementia
- Thread starter sdmhred
- Start date
A really interesting read.
There's also an interesting documentary series on Amazon Prime called Take Me Out Feet First which covers the Medical Aid for Dying system for terminally ill people in the US.
If I was faced with choosing between a good death or a slow decline with no quality of life I hope I would have the courage to make that choice. Surely the important thing would be to know that I had a choice.
There's also an interesting documentary series on Amazon Prime called Take Me Out Feet First which covers the Medical Aid for Dying system for terminally ill people in the US.
If I was faced with choosing between a good death or a slow decline with no quality of life I hope I would have the courage to make that choice. Surely the important thing would be to know that I had a choice.
Interesting reading. I will admit to always being anti euthanasia believing that where there is life there was hope. But, watching my Mum's dementia progress - she started showing symptoms in 2014 - and seeing what this vile illness has reduced her to, I have changed my mind. Mum always said that if she got like her auntie (she died over 40 years ago from senility) then I was to put a pillow over her face, I know she would not want to live like she is - there is no quality of life, she is just existing and it is heartbreaking to see.
I do hope that one day a choice will be made available to people.
I do hope that one day a choice will be made available to people.
Yes, difficult one, but PWD don't have the opportunity to make a choice, do they, because they have, by the very nature of their illness, lost the ability to process and understand information. What you may have said when you are younger and healthier may not apply as death gets nearer - people do change their minds.
Both my parents say they want to die a lot of the time, particularly if they are in pain or depressed, and quite honestly if I could help them in this regard I would be seriously tempted to do so, as in my judgement they have little quality of life and they are never going to get any better than they are now, only worse. I do think people with terminal illnesses who wish to end their life rather than continue and die a lingering, painful death should be able to do so easily and, hopefully painlessly, but with PWD that is a whole different kettle of fish. I'm glad in a way I don't have to chance to make that choice regarding my parents, but I do pray they will go quickly, soon, and close together.
Both my parents say they want to die a lot of the time, particularly if they are in pain or depressed, and quite honestly if I could help them in this regard I would be seriously tempted to do so, as in my judgement they have little quality of life and they are never going to get any better than they are now, only worse. I do think people with terminal illnesses who wish to end their life rather than continue and die a lingering, painful death should be able to do so easily and, hopefully painlessly, but with PWD that is a whole different kettle of fish. I'm glad in a way I don't have to chance to make that choice regarding my parents, but I do pray they will go quickly, soon, and close together.
This topic is certainly very emotive and there are so many differing views from individuals, health professionals, religious views.
I feel the most important thing is to have a CHOICE.
I too have been told by my mum many years ago 'a pillow over my head' if I become incapacitated in any way. Obviously it is illegal, but I know mum would not choose to live with dementia.
What this experience has made me do is update my will, including power of attorney's. Writing my own wishes regarding, medical care planning and having 'a good death' and ensuring that my adult children are fully aware of all my wishes.
I feel the most important thing is to have a CHOICE.
I too have been told by my mum many years ago 'a pillow over my head' if I become incapacitated in any way. Obviously it is illegal, but I know mum would not choose to live with dementia.
What this experience has made me do is update my will, including power of attorney's. Writing my own wishes regarding, medical care planning and having 'a good death' and ensuring that my adult children are fully aware of all my wishes.
I’m 100% supportive of euthanasia for those with terminal or intolerable conditions. But it does worry me that a PWD may not have the capacity to make an informed choice for themselves at the appropriate time.
As Tabitha2 says, minds do change. My parents once made us promise to ‘put them in a home’ if they ever developed dementia, but now Mum has it, residential care is a huge fear for both of them.
As Tabitha2 says, minds do change. My parents once made us promise to ‘put them in a home’ if they ever developed dementia, but now Mum has it, residential care is a huge fear for both of them.
"My parents once made us promise to ‘put them in a home’ if they ever developed dementia, but now Mum has it, residential care is a huge fear for both of them."
@Collywobbles . My mum made me promise to put her in a home rather than give my life up to caring for her. She also added, " if the time should come and I kick and scream and refuse to go ,ignore me and do it ! I'm telling you this whilst I have a sound mind"
@Collywobbles . My mum made me promise to put her in a home rather than give my life up to caring for her. She also added, " if the time should come and I kick and scream and refuse to go ,ignore me and do it ! I'm telling you this whilst I have a sound mind"
The article is emotive and I find it sad. Sad, mainly because it seems that there could have been more years that might have been enjoyed had they had the right medication to help.
An interesting read. I am a supporter of voluntary euthanasia but this particular case made me a bit uncomfortable. I felt that they took their lives earlier than they might otherwise have done because of the wife's dementia. I'm quite surprised that there are so many of these duo-euthanasia cases.
I can't imagine this ever being allowed in the UK. All you can do is draw up a living will or do as Wendy Mitchell did. She was fortunate that nobody treated her as suicidal and tried to impose fluid and nutrition on her.
I can't imagine this ever being allowed in the UK. All you can do is draw up a living will or do as Wendy Mitchell did. She was fortunate that nobody treated her as suicidal and tried to impose fluid and nutrition on her.
I find the idea of assisted suicide for dementia worrying.
On one hand we see what it is like at the end and feel that it is wrong for them to go through this. I remember it well with mum. But by this stage she was unable to make that choice and she would not have been able to make that choice for several years. I remember taking her her to a garden centre when she had to use a wheelchair and while I was pushing her round she caught sight of her reflection in one of the floor to ceiling windows and said to me "look at that poor old lady in a wheel chair - shoot me if I ever get to that stage!" Before dementia she would not have wanted to live like that, but with dementia she had no understanding that she had reached that stage and would not have wanted to die
On the other hand, for mum to have consented to assisted suicide she would have had to have agreed many years before then and although the year before she moved into her care home was pretty awful, she then had nearly 3 years in her care home where she was happy and I have some good memories of that time. Would it have been right to have cut short those years?
I also worry about coercion. We hear enough stories on here about relatives who are happy to steal from their parent with dementia, or persuade them to hand over large gifts in order to retain "their inheritance". Would they consider it OK to persuade them to go for assisted suicide so that their inheritance doesnt get spent on care?
Its complicated
On one hand we see what it is like at the end and feel that it is wrong for them to go through this. I remember it well with mum. But by this stage she was unable to make that choice and she would not have been able to make that choice for several years. I remember taking her her to a garden centre when she had to use a wheelchair and while I was pushing her round she caught sight of her reflection in one of the floor to ceiling windows and said to me "look at that poor old lady in a wheel chair - shoot me if I ever get to that stage!" Before dementia she would not have wanted to live like that, but with dementia she had no understanding that she had reached that stage and would not have wanted to die
On the other hand, for mum to have consented to assisted suicide she would have had to have agreed many years before then and although the year before she moved into her care home was pretty awful, she then had nearly 3 years in her care home where she was happy and I have some good memories of that time. Would it have been right to have cut short those years?
I also worry about coercion. We hear enough stories on here about relatives who are happy to steal from their parent with dementia, or persuade them to hand over large gifts in order to retain "their inheritance". Would they consider it OK to persuade them to go for assisted suicide so that their inheritance doesnt get spent on care?
Its complicated
I was very challenged by mum’s 7 month late stage - had to be hoisted, double incontinent, needed feeding, barely spoke BUT she was happy (apart from personal care) and when asked if she wanted to die was a categorical no. But if you had told her she would be like this she would have said no way did she want to get like that. But this would have probably changed had she stopped eating and being aware of visitors etc etc
Im glad tho I never had to grapple with should I allow prescribing of abx in that horrid horrid stage as I had felt this decision was already burdening me.
I would like a trusted group of friends who I appoint to monitor this for me if I ever get like that to all agree when quality of life is finished and then…..but I accept that is never going to be possible.
But then mum’s last 24 hours were fairly grim with the normal medications being unable to control secretions….at that point you just wished it could be ended….but she was blissfully unaware and it was only us suffering…
Im glad tho I never had to grapple with should I allow prescribing of abx in that horrid horrid stage as I had felt this decision was already burdening me.
I would like a trusted group of friends who I appoint to monitor this for me if I ever get like that to all agree when quality of life is finished and then…..but I accept that is never going to be possible.
But then mum’s last 24 hours were fairly grim with the normal medications being unable to control secretions….at that point you just wished it could be ended….but she was blissfully unaware and it was only us suffering…
Dad had passive euthanasia and as a family, we all supported the decision which was actually made by the doctor. His passing was quick with his family holding his hands; it was by many standards, a good death.
Meanwhile Mum lies, breathing with no life, no memory what so ever but somehow managing to eat enough to sustain life. This is not going to be a good death.
Meanwhile Mum lies, breathing with no life, no memory what so ever but somehow managing to eat enough to sustain life. This is not going to be a good death.
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