Oh I am sorry you are no further forward on this... It is agonising waiting for potentially life changing calls and then still not having got to the bottom of it. It's a lot on your shoulders. I understand you don't want to burden your daughters but I am worried about you bottling it up for a month or more. I wondered if your workplace was signed up to something like an employee assistance program? A friend used one when she was going through difficult times and said it really helped to just talk things through with someone. Best wishes x
Agreed to see the doctor again.
- Thread starter RM3
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Hi @RoyalOilfield - thank you for posting.
I like your response with the ‘want to scream together’. It sounds to have been enough to relieve the moment as well.
This is a great (and safe) space to rant, cry, ask for shared experiences and everything and anything else.
Hope all is well for you. Thank you again x
I like your response with the ‘want to scream together’. It sounds to have been enough to relieve the moment as well.
This is a great (and safe) space to rant, cry, ask for shared experiences and everything and anything else.
Hope all is well for you. Thank you again x
Than
I hadn’t thought of that but we do have employee support available. I might get some info on it tomorrow, so that I have it if needed.
I worry about how quickly any decline would be (should there be a diagnosis). I seem to see struggles more frequently- just in the past few weeks.
We both work a lot and don’t have much time. I would like to know, so that I could maybe put some things in place to travel a bit together this year. With a family ranging from 34-18yrs, we were just going to start with time together more for holidays etc and retirement probably in the next 5 years.
It might be that I just decide to get on and book a couple of things.
Thank you again @Spottydog for your support x
Thank you so much @Spottydog. This sums up just how it feels. Potentially life changing and the wait is almost as painful as the news would be.
I hadn’t thought of that but we do have employee support available. I might get some info on it tomorrow, so that I have it if needed.
I worry about how quickly any decline would be (should there be a diagnosis). I seem to see struggles more frequently- just in the past few weeks.
We both work a lot and don’t have much time. I would like to know, so that I could maybe put some things in place to travel a bit together this year. With a family ranging from 34-18yrs, we were just going to start with time together more for holidays etc and retirement probably in the next 5 years.
It might be that I just decide to get on and book a couple of things.
Thank you again @Spottydog for your support x
@RM3 , I'm sorry you haven't a conclusive answer today it's quite common for another scan to be requested. . My OH had CT scan and a Dat scan. Most of my friends husband's had two scans as well. It led to a diagnosis of ' probable Alzheimer's with possible Lewy Body ' . Neither scan was conclusive although both showed damage/ shrinkage so definitely a dementia diagnosis.
I hope you won't have to wait too long for the next scan
And.. yes I'd get those holidays booked and enjoyed. Don't wait for retirement ! I really wish now my oh and I had done more short breaks / weekend trips while I was working. As soon as I retired he was diagnosed and COVID meant no holidays. It then became more difficult although we did try.
Make memories . X
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I hope you won't have to wait too long for the next scan
And.. yes I'd get those holidays booked and enjoyed. Don't wait for retirement ! I really wish now my oh and I had done more short breaks / weekend trips while I was working. As soon as I retired he was diagnosed and COVID meant no holidays. It then became more difficult although we did try.
Make memories . X
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Hi @maggie6445 - there always seems to be plenty of time left to do things doesn’t there and then life happens and there isn’t.
You are so right - making memories I think is going to be the plan for this coming few months. We are lovers of short breaks (with a blind and diabetic dog, long breaks are not practical anyway).
I am going to have a think about some things that we could do together. Thanks @maggie6445 ☺️ x
It's very hard to hang on to a scrap of hope when things point to a diagnosis of dementia.
I feel that your 34 year old is old enough for you to confide in.
I agree with others that you should arrange some trips away now. There's nothing to be gained by waiting for a definite diagnosis either way.
I feel that your 34 year old is old enough for you to confide in.
I agree with others that you should arrange some trips away now. There's nothing to be gained by waiting for a definite diagnosis either way.
Yes I
Yes I think maybe that’s the best way to feel Take the time until the next appointment to find out what’s available in your area I’m going to as much as possible as meeting other people really helps I still miss my Mum so much and my husband has been my rock since she passed away As my daughter said I need to be his rock I’m trying my best for us to still have a good life even though it’s different Keep your chin up everyone on this forum totally understand how you are feeling Here anytime sending love & hugs x
Your daughters may already be aware something not quite right They will rally round you My youngest is 2 hours away she’s visiting this weekend with her little boy Really looking forward to it How does your husband seem about things I’m lucky my husband is not depressed unlike a lot of people with a diagnosis I know from what you write your a strong person & as a family you will work things out together I have to say that we are doing a lot more since my husband’s diagnosis sending love xx
Hi @Violet Jane - thank you for replying and for your valued opinion (you’ve been a good support as well).
I have just babysat my middle daughters children after work (she is 32), I wasn’t going to mention anything but she asked and said that she would rather know.
We’ve just had a really good talk about everything and it has helped. She has noticed a few more things herself lately too.
I am definitely going to make some plans and not wait for a (potential) diagnosis.
It may mean requesting some unpaid leave for us both but I think the benefit outweighs the cost.
Thank you again x
Aww that’s nice that your youngest daughter and your grandson are visiting this weekend. I hope you have a lovely time together.
We are fortunate to have a loving family around us and I don’t take that for granted.
My husband has not asked at all if the memory clinic rang. I’m not sure if he doesn’t remember, or doesn’t want to know? I’ve been home about 15 minutes and nothing said.
I think whilst I wait, for the next appointments, I will look at things that we can do together.
I need work financially but If there is anything wrong, I don’t want to lose the best of the time we have together, going our separate ways all week. Not sure yet about the plan but I am going to try and have a plan that I can quickly action, should there be anything wrong.
I hope that you have felt more comfortable recently?
Glad you’re getting out ok and enjoying your time together ☺️.
Thanks again Bev - your support really matters x
@RM3 , I think for you to keep working if you can will be good for you. You have to consider your long term financial security. But .. could you go for evening walks together? My oh and I used to walk along our local canal towpath as it's flat and he could manage it with his heart condition. If you are home early enough take a picnic and flask and have tea out.
During lockdown my oh and I often had a picnic on the moors or in the park.
We were going to get an old camper van for our weekend excursions. Oh being mechanically minded would have been up to maintaining it ,at least he reckoned so, but .. the best plans and all that!
We went on some a self drive shearing holidays, not sure who took them over but they still do the holidays. I have some good memories, OH remembers nothing now🤣 but he enjoyed it at the time.
Get planning , and let us all know . Look forward to hearing of your adventures x
During lockdown my oh and I often had a picnic on the moors or in the park.
We were going to get an old camper van for our weekend excursions. Oh being mechanically minded would have been up to maintaining it ,at least he reckoned so, but .. the best plans and all that!
We went on some a self drive shearing holidays, not sure who took them over but they still do the holidays. I have some good memories, OH remembers nothing now🤣 but he enjoyed it at the time.
Get planning , and let us all know . Look forward to hearing of your adventures x
Some nice ideas there @maggie6445 - thank you.
We are usually both home by about 4.30pm. We have fallen in to the habit of my husband putting YouTube straight on in one room and I potter and watch tv in the other room.
I know there may come a time when I will wish we had made more of this time.
We love walking together (nothing too hard though ha). An evening walk - even a couple of times a week, sounds like a good idea to get out of this rut.
That’s funny you say about a camper van. My husband keeps saying lately that we should get a tourer caravan. Not the right time for that though, so I don’t respond too much to that.
It looks like Shearings are still going.
I will keep you posted on our plans (although they may not be a page turner ha). Thank you ☺️ x
You have such good advice Maggie That sounds lovely taking a picnic I can’t walk very far as I’ve got really bad arthritis I’ve had one knee replacement but need the other knee & hip replacing but doubt It will happen now I was working as a volunteer in a charity shop which I really enjoyed But after my husband fainted & knocked himself out I don’t like to leave him too long I think you are a shining example of a carer looking for the positives
Hope your doing ok xx
Thank you. . believe me I do have my cheesed off moments ,to put it mildly! But I feel better if I look for the positives. We've been to games morning today although my oh doesn't knows how to play games now. He mainly sits and smiles while I chat with other people. Then went to a local cafe for .lunch
Last week we went with our dementia friends to a local park for a picnic. The other two men saw bowlers on the green and asked if they could have a go. A man playing got them some bowls from the club house and I helped supervise a bowls game. Mmm ... I play bowls for a local club but this game was was a novelty🤣
Hope things are improving for you after your accident. X
@RM3 , I'm glad your feeling lighter now. That's what the forum is about, supporting each other.
You're entitled to a me me me day sometimes. Things are not easy when you're waiting for results and answers to health issues. Sometimes not knowing is worse than knowing . At least you then know what you're dealing with xx
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