I think you are in an impossible situation. You are heading for carer breakdown (if you're not there already!) and I am really concerned about your wellbeing.
I know you're reluctant to ask anything of your children but they are grown ups and you are - both - their parents. It's time they stepped up and supported you instead of dismissing your concerns. I notice you said in an earlier post that you did leave him for a few days but that they were upset! Weren't they concerned about you? It must have taken a lot for you to leave - obviously not something you would do lightly so they really should have offered you support. And the same applies now. They are only thinking of their father (and refusing to see the true picture) and not you.
Are you close enough to one of them to have a proper heart to heart? Surely if they knew that he was so controlling and reducing you to tears several times a day they would do something? Yes, I know it's all the more difficult due to covid but they really need to be helping you with your husband, not abandoning you.
I'm guessing that asking for help or admitting you are floundering is very hard for you. I'm the same so I know how that feels. But the time has come,
@jennifer1967 . You need help. Who will look after your husband if/when you have a breakdown?