thank you, i dont think leaving him is the answer and not sure i could cope with that. i think im better to check all the options. i believe that you have to work on the marriage and dont take my marriage vows likely. ive sorted out the access code to give to the doctors to see the poa. i will include it with an email explaining about hes not stable and suggesting reasons for it. if i was going to leave him i would have done it years ago. im trying to be fair to him and me and see if i can get him the help that he needs. after next weekend, he can go out which will give me space. i just want him to have the best quality of life he can have. i just want the best for himI don’t think the answer is to leave him, I think you should stay where you are.
If this continues then the answer is that he can benefit from residential care. Maybe my advice is premature, but on the long term how good is medication at solving problems?
That way you could still visit and maintain a very positive relationship.
No one knows better than you the pain and hurdles that would take place before that happens, particularly as he has capacity at present.
Between now and then the thing you can do to best help yourself is compile evidence, no one is going to want to pick up the care bill without lots and lots of lovely evidence!