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advice please

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
4,425
0
Southampton
I am sorry to hear that you did not get your ‘day off’ today. I know sometimes it can’t be helped when people offer you a break and you get your hopes up and then they get dashed it can be more upsetting. I too hope that Saturday happens.
Do you have a local Alzheimers group, because with Mum they gave her a leaflet with ‘volunteer drivers’ in that only charge for petrol? I guess similar scheme to the one Ganymede suggested.
Glad your pain level has reduced a bit today. I know you have things that need to be done but could you give yourself a bit more of a rest.
thank you @Bikerbeth, yes i do have support from an alz. soc. dementia navigator and she suggested dial-a-ride. he can get on a bus but there are no bus routes from ours to get to the group. as its the first thing he has ever said yes to, i will phone tomorrow. i will ask my son as well afterwards. he didnt react so much as it was his sister and not my son. ive told me son to keep away from water. tomorrow, ive just a small cabinet to do which completes the living room. its only small and i can sit at the same level so no bending. wont take long. hoover and iron his clothes so i have a light day. then i have saturday off which is the aim. i need to potter as i get stiff in one position. im going slower and listen to my back rather than fighting with it.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,000
0
Bedford
I am by no means as bad as you but I have had 2 disintegrated discs in my lower back for 20 years. I too find that pottering sometimes helps and definitely more than sitting. Listening to it as you say rather than fighting it also helps but I am lucky as I do not have the pressures you do. It still seems that you are making good progress though, so do give yourself a pat on the back
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
4,425
0
Southampton
I am by no means as bad as you but I have had 2 disintegrated discs in my lower back for 20 years. I too find that pottering sometimes helps and definitely more than sitting. Listening to it as you say rather than fighting it also helps but I am lucky as I do not have the pressures you do. It still seems that you are making good progress though, so do give yourself a pat on the back
mine is a trapped sciatic nerve plus i have wear and tear on my back. basically osteo arthritis also in my knees, 1 of which ive had a partial knee replacement. the sciatic nerve goes right down the right side so its my leg and hip as well. i think from when i was working in a carehome. they say dont lift but you do to a degree. i have achieved a lot but im my own worst critic. have a good day
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
4,425
0
Southampton
found mens sheds locally and my son has said he will take and collect him twice a week for 2hrs each time. he will start the week after as my son is on holiday next week. im grateful for the 4 hours a week. my husband is all for it so its a start of me having time for me. my son and d-i-l have been over this morning to hoover their car out for tomorrow. so its looking promising that they will be going tomorrow. if it doesnt rain, hes bringing the grandkids over sunday and cutting my grass so my grandsons will help as well. now i have to get my youngest daughter doing her share. im proud my son has stepped up and is doing things to help.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
4,425
0
Southampton
Well done your family @jennifer1967 hope everything goes to plan
its 1 child out of 4 children. i dont like loading it all on him but would like to spread it out but children[some nearly grown up] that help out at all and really enjoy it especially if they are allowed to operate the strimmer. they are growing up to help us now. they are well brought up kids.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
73,420
0
Kent
There is often just a single one in a family who is the most willing to help. I`ve seen it so many times on the forum.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
4,425
0
Southampton
i need some help by way of information. my husband keeps choking on food. he can swallow tablets and some food but hes choking on tiny pieces of pasta, rice strands, mincemeat, bread crumbs and tonight it was lettuce. whether its time to get gp involved for a referral to SALT or is it bad enough. hes 2yrs+ into vascular dementia. he has COPD as well with only his airway affected. he has nothing on his lungs. he has the usual phlegm that is associated with COPD. it gets stuck and the only way to get it up is me firmly patting his back and it just lives him exhausted. is it time to get some help?
 

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
22,673
0
North Manchester
Probably, although you might be able to do it through community nursing, you could try a google on speech and language therapy <local authority> failing that ask GP

If you refer directly to SALT make sure the referral is for swallowing not speech defect, it's more likely to be fast tracked. Eight years ago in my LA it was 48hr max response.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
4,425
0
Southampton
Probably, although you might be able to do it through community nursing, you could try a google on speech and language therapy <local authority> failing that ask GP

If you refer directly to SALT make sure the referral is for swallowing not speech defect, it's more likely to be fast tracked. Eight years ago in my LA it was 48hr max response.
thank you very much @nitram i will go through the gp monday. his choking is getting more regular now.