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advice please

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
3,768
0
Southampton
while hes been out, i have made inroads to getting an bank once i spoke to a rare thing as a person. have to download the app. sorted now got to leave it a few days. im shaking. i put some music on loud but the anxiety levels are high so it shows that im doing the right thing. ive never felt so scared.
 

margherita

Registered User
May 30, 2017
3,062
0
Italy, Milan and Acqui Terme
while hes been out, i have made inroads to getting an bank once i spoke to a rare thing as a person. have to download the app. sorted now got to leave it a few days. im shaking. i put some music on loud but the anxiety levels are high so it shows that im doing the right thing. ive never felt so scared.
You are strong @jennifer1967 , much stronger than you are aware of. (((((hugs))))
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
3,768
0
Southampton
hes come in and firing off. i had an hour without him. blames me for the blood test as its for the older persons mental health team. then fired off as i was the one who spoke to the gp about his temper. oh so it was your fault. @canary was right in that i was lulled into a false sense of security. every i do is to help him. hes managed to upset me.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
15,014
0
South coast
Its always scary the first time you go against what they say and do something behind their back. I remember my heart hammering so hard I thought I was going to be sick. It gets easier with practise.

Know now that you need a bank account of your own.
 

Susan11

Registered User
Nov 18, 2018
3,456
0
Hi Jennifer Hope you are feeling a bit better now. How are you getting on with the Bank account? I know it's very stressful for you at the moment.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
3,768
0
Southampton
Hi Jennifer Hope you are feeling a bit better now. How are you getting on with the Bank account? I know it's very stressful for you at the moment.
thank you @Susan11 i downloaded the app and filled in the details for my own account. it cant do it yet although the lady on the phone said 3 -4 days after i downloaded it. i probably need to phone at one point but i have to do it without him being here. its going to be a slow progress as is the clearing of the house as i have just got over being ill again. done under stairs and going into living room next. just trying to catch up on what i havent been able to do and have to pace myself to my back. definitely stressed as my eczema is now flaring up. i will keep going
 

Susan11

Registered User
Nov 18, 2018
3,456
0
thank you @Susan11 i downloaded the app and filled in the details for my own account. it cant do it yet although the lady on the phone said 3 -4 days after i downloaded it. i probably need to phone at one point but i have to do it without him being here. its going to be a slow progress as is the clearing of the house as i have just got over being ill again. done under stairs and going into living room next. just trying to catch up on what i havent been able to do and have to pace myself to my back. definitely stressed as my eczema is now flaring up. i will keep going
You sound like you're doing really well. Take care.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
3,768
0
Southampton
his blood test results are in and had a long drawn out gp phone appointment. it looks very like he has diabetes type 2 like me. extra worry is that he has vascular dementia so involves blood vessels with both conditions. has no symptoms and has have it repeated then medication. his liver function is down so repeat and see if its one of his medications causing it. third thing is that his iron has been down twice, this lower than the last low score. they wonder if hes bleeding internally so stool sample as well. if thats negative, they want to put him through an endoscopy and camera up his tail end. he has consented to all but the cameras. he doesnt want them as hes scared. he has a narrower airway due to COPD. i cant make him do something he doesnt want to do. ive had both in the past and no they are not pleasant but its worrying why his blood count has gone down. im feeling really guilty. im not going to nag at him. its up to him as he has capacity and in some ways, what would we do if he had a diagnosis. he has vascular dementia, COPD and now diabetes. im not going to push it
 

SEA SPRAY

New member
Apr 10, 2021
8
0
I understand your husband's fear about the camera, but if anything is wrong wouldn't it be better to find out sooner rather than later?
I had an endoscopy two years ago and was offered sedation - which I took! It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Sedation is available with a colonoscopy, too.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
3,768
0
Southampton
I understand your husband's fear about the camera, but if anything is wrong wouldn't it be better to find out sooner rather than later?
I had an endoscopy two years ago and was offered sedation - which I took! It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Sedation is available with a colonoscopy, too.
ive had both with sedation and not that bad but not that many years ago, i couldnt get a needle near him. now he doesnt mind but i think it might be his line in the sand. i would like him to have it but its his choice.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
3,768
0
Southampton
ive sorted out banking on my phone so i can keep control of the account and now know whats and do things myself rather than relying on him to tell me. i couldnt get my own account so this is a compromise.i can keep track. spent a few hours clearing dvds and cds and got 2 boxes worth. it may not seem a lot but my back cant take too much in one go. he did flare at me once. i kept going and now finished. i took a stronger painkiller and im going to pay for it later. now just got to work out where i can take them. tomorrow hes out for the whole day so its my day off too.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,953
0
Bedford
Great to hear @jennifer1967 that you can see what is happening with the bank account. All these little steps forward will add up and that includes the sorting out.
As my old boss said ‘slowly, slowly catches the monkey’
Try and relax and ‘treat’ yourself in some way tomorrow
 

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