A new stage in my life...................

[2jays]

I don`t need a plaque. Dhiren does`t need a plaque.

The ashes will be scattered to the wind and the sea. A very small quantity will stay with me.

Sorry if I was inappropriate in my last post. x

 

[60's child]

The people we love never leave us do they Sylvia. They remain in our hearts and minds forever. We had no plaque for my wonderful Dad. He is always with me. Hugs to you.

 

[Grannie G]

Sorry if I was inappropriate in my last post. x

No 2jays, nothing inappropriate. We all know what we want and need and should be able to talk about it. xx

 

[creativesarah]

morning Sylvia I wasnt sure what to say last night when I popped in

glad you have peace

take it easy with your eye!

Much love Sarah

 

[flowerpot]

I think it a lovely idea to scatter his ashes in places that mean something. When my my MiL leaves us we are to take FiL and her across to the Isle of Arran and scatter their ashes together along one of the glens. It's a place which is very dear to all of us but more so to them.



Sent from my XT1032 using Talking Point mobile app

 

[Grannie G]

morning Sylvia I wasnt sure what to say last night when I popped in

Don`t worry about saying something Sarah. It`s enough you`re here. xx

 

[Rageddy Anne]

Today was the most normal day I've had for a while .

I went to the hairdresser. I thought she would be safer than I would, not to wet the eye. I walked to the high street. It was a lovely day, cold but cheerful, with a bright blue sky. I could see quite well and was full of gratitude.

But then I met a couple of neighbors and had to tell them Dhiren had died. I had been dreading these situations. As soon as I saw the sympathy in their faces I became emotional.

And when I got home, another neighbor phoned, he thought it was a blessed release. His wife will be visiting next week.

And then I phoned the Funeral Director to make arrangements to collect Dhiren's ashes. Our eldest granddaughter will be coming home from university on 28th and we will scatter the ashes off the coast, keeping some back for when any family members visit India. Then the remainder will be scattered in the Ganges.

Such a difficult time, dear Sylvia, and people don't always know how to choose what they say. But they feel your pain, as of course you know. I'm glad you had a blue sky. The world is such a lovely place, and Nature heals in time. There are snowdrops and primroses in our garden. Sending you a nice gentle hug.

 

[Saffie]

I think that to return people to the freedom of the sea, mountains or any open place which meant a lot to them is wonderful. Sylvia, it is obvious that Dhiren had a love of his native land and to return to the Ganges is symbolic of that love. That is right somehow and I hope a comfort to you. xxx

I think we all have differering ideas of what we think is best after death but in reality, a person lives on in our hearts and in our memories and we do not need a stone memorial with which to remember them and I'd prefer a tree or a special shrub or flower.

However, 2jays -

No one would know that my dad ever existed when they walk through that church yard.

- but you know 2jays and that is what matters. Why don't you ask the Vicar if you could plant some daffodils or something else to remember your Dad by? Then you would have a focal point to remind you.

 

[Pollyanna]

It's nice that Dhiren has come home. I hope that next weekend brings comfort.

X

 

[MissisT]

It's so true that we differ with what we want and feel is right. My husband's ashes are mostly here with me for now. We planted a tree at my daughter's farm which will always stay in the family and some of his ashes are helping it to grow. Some will be scattered on his parents' grave because we think he would have liked that and the rest will be scattered with mine in a particular place in Cornwall that we both loved. No plaques but it makes me happy.

 

[TinaT]

What feels right for me Sylvia is that Ken's ashes are under my bed, waiting for my ashes to join his. Then we will be scattered together to the winds.

xxTinaT

 

[Loopiloo]

The Funeral Director delivered Dhiren`s ashes today ready for scattering next weekend.

They are not in an Urn, they are in a scatter tube and some are in 3 small containers which I can keep for scattering in the Ganges.

I feel he has come home.

I can imagine that was comforting for you, Sylvia, that Dhiren had come home. Lovely too that some of his ashes will be scattered in the Ganges, the land of his birth.

Loo xx

 

[garnuft]

I'm so glad you are comforted Sylvia.
I have always liked the idea of sprinkling of ashes rather than to see a coffin descend into the ground but we're all different and find comfort in different things, don't we?

To me it seems appropriate that there should be stages of disposal, different places.
It seems a better reflection of the life that was lived, not necessarily rooted in one place or time.

I don't think Dhiren ever left home.

He was always beside you. X

 

[angecmc]

Hi, Sylvia Dhiren will always be with you in your heart. We took my MIl's ashes back to Scotland to a churchyard where her Mother's ashes were scattered, but husband scattered some on our fuschia bush before we went, I often stand at the kitchen window and talk to her as if she is still there tidying up the fuschia xx

Ange

 

[NanLorac]

Your in my thoughts Sylvia.

Take care, Carol x

 

[Noorza]

The Funeral Director delivered Dhiren`s ashes today ready for scattering next weekend.

They are not in an Urn, they are in a scatter tube and some are in 3 small containers which I can keep for scattering in the Ganges.

I feel he has come home.

I hope it is of some comfort to you. Thinking of you. x

 

[Grannie G]

I have been asked if I will stop using TP now Dhiren has died.

It isn`t even 6 weeks yet!

It shows how little they understand what dementia is about and what TP is about.

 

[cragmaid]

Tell "them" to butt out....how you choose to communicate your thoughts is entirely up to you.......so says "Indignant on your behalf"!!!!!
Apart from that, your wisdom learned through experience helps so many that we would struggle without you.
Thanks Sylvia.....x.x.x.

 

[Pookie]

That is so sad.I thought such wisdom as yours would be invaluable to others.

Peter&Jean Pookie

 

[sleepless]

I can't believe I am reading this!

If the Alzheimers' Society are behind this, they do not deserve the annual donation I send to them, and it will be stopped forthwith.

Quite apart from the utter lack of sensitivity for your loss, Sylvia, they would be depriving us of your wealth of experience.

Unbelievable.