A life in the day of.........................
- Thread starter Grannie G
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It is so sad, Sylvia. Even although Dhiren will probably have forgotten it when next you visit, the memory of how he felt at that specific moment in time stays with you.
I am sorry, and hope the next visit finds Dhiren fine again.
Love
Loo xx
I am sorry, and hope the next visit finds Dhiren fine again.
Love
Loo xx
Sylvia,
So sorry you had this upsetting experience, but thank you for posting it. You tried to prepare me in your answer to my thread this week about my husband going into a NH We only want the very best care and attention for our loved one and sometimes when we can't manage to provide it all ourselves it upsets us so much.
I am sure I will have many upsetting moments as we go down this route. I am hoping it will only be me that does the crying and not E. but unfortunately I really do not know how he feels deep inside and he can't tell me.
Take care Sylvia and thanks for helping us out here. Thinking of you B x
So sorry you had this upsetting experience, but thank you for posting it. You tried to prepare me in your answer to my thread this week about my husband going into a NH We only want the very best care and attention for our loved one and sometimes when we can't manage to provide it all ourselves it upsets us so much.
I am sure I will have many upsetting moments as we go down this route. I am hoping it will only be me that does the crying and not E. but unfortunately I really do not know how he feels deep inside and he can't tell me.
Take care Sylvia and thanks for helping us out here. Thinking of you B x
Sylvia -Helen was right - fngers itching too much to be ignored and had to say how sorry I am about your visit. What Dhiren said was heartbreaking enough but what the resident said added to your pain. So sad - even if his sadness didn't last, it was there at the time and that is what you are remembering. My understanding and sympathy. love XXX
Thank you so much for your support.
When Dhiren first went into the home I told him it was for convalescence, to build up his strength.
When he continued to mention going home , I would repeat the message.
His memory lasts for seconds only, but even so something of this might have stayed with him.
He tried so hard with the exercises, perhaps he felt he should be rewarded.
I know he will be fine today when I visit . I know he will have been fine yesterday after I left. [at least I hope so]
I saw the old aggression in his face, heard it in his voice, and felt it in his attitude, for the first time in ages.
When Dhiren first went into the home I told him it was for convalescence, to build up his strength.
When he continued to mention going home , I would repeat the message.
His memory lasts for seconds only, but even so something of this might have stayed with him.
He tried so hard with the exercises, perhaps he felt he should be rewarded.
I know he will be fine today when I visit . I know he will have been fine yesterday after I left. [at least I hope so]
I saw the old aggression in his face, heard it in his voice, and felt it in his attitude, for the first time in ages.
I'm so sorry Sylvia. As others have said, Dhiren won't remember it now but of course, you do. These things are so painful.
I hope you managed to get some sleep last night.
I hope you managed to get some sleep last night.
Bless you Sylvia
I'm so sorry too, talk about rubbing salt into the wound
I guess the lady is probably voicing her own frustrations at being in the care home
anger comes out in so many ways
Hope your next visit is loads better
Love Sarah
I'm so sorry too, talk about rubbing salt into the wound
I guess the lady is probably voicing her own frustrations at being in the care home
anger comes out in so many ways
Hope your next visit is loads better
Love Sarah
I hope something of that happening has not stayed with him, Sylvia, and that he was fine when you visited today.
That does come as a shock. It has happened with Henry in the past, a long spell of no aggression, or that face and voice. Then suddenly it re-surfaces.
Dhiren has been at peace much longer than Henry though, and I so much hope that is what returns.
Thinking of you.
Loo xx
Thank you.
Dhiren was still subdued today . He kept looking at the resident sleeping across the room, the same person who keeps telling me I should take him home.
She slept during the whole of my visit and yet he still looked at her, making comments I was unable to follow about `him`. He was obviously disturbed.
There is little I can do. She has the same rights to the sitting room as anyone else, she has dementia and cannot be held responsible for what she says.
We have had a good trouble free run and somehow will have to learn to live with it.
Dhiren was still subdued today . He kept looking at the resident sleeping across the room, the same person who keeps telling me I should take him home.
She slept during the whole of my visit and yet he still looked at her, making comments I was unable to follow about `him`. He was obviously disturbed.
There is little I can do. She has the same rights to the sitting room as anyone else, she has dementia and cannot be held responsible for what she says.
We have had a good trouble free run and somehow will have to learn to live with it.
At least she was asleep
not much compensation but a tiny bit
hope your next visit is better
Luv sarah
saw Les miserables on a dvd tonight I'd never seen it before !
not much compensation but a tiny bit
hope your next visit is better
Luv sarah
saw Les miserables on a dvd tonight I'd never seen it before !
If the scientists could harness the process that retains these random thoughts maybe we could have a breakthrough for AD.
Hope Dhiren settles again soon
Helen x
I am sorry about the other resident causing upset. I have found other residents are yet another potential hazard in the CH minefield. (Of course other visitors can be too.)
I really shouldn`t worry about these episodes. Not only had Dhiren forgotten all about them but so had I until I came to the Thread today and read back posts.
I haven`t visited for 5 days because I have felt below par and didn`t want to take any infection into the home, just in case.
When I arrived, it was as if I`d visited yesterday. I was welcomed by the same familiar smile and Dhiren patting his chair saying `Sit down. Sit down.` `Have you got dinner?`
He was calm and contented and pleased I had taken a home made pate sandwich, one of his favourites.
But he seemed to have lost knowing how to bite on the sandwich and could only suck at it. He was also unable to hold it without spilling the contents. I broke pieces off and fed them to him. At least he was still chewing and not choking.
After a while he dozed off.
He was only asleep for about 10 minutes and I read my kindle with one hand and held his hands with the other.
He woke full of smiles and little chuckles.
`Have you been dreaming?` I asked. `It must have been a nice dream.`
And he told me a tale, but I could only understand one word. It was said fondly and it was `wife`, but I don`t think it referred to me.
Today he seemed to have lost more language, unless he was speaking Hindi or Bengali and I was unable to recognise it. It didn`t upset him and I was able to bluff acceptable responses.
I`m not sure whether there has been a downturn, there have been signs for a while of a very slow loss of abilities, but his contentment is so reassuring, I was able to leave with a quiet heart.
I haven`t visited for 5 days because I have felt below par and didn`t want to take any infection into the home, just in case.
When I arrived, it was as if I`d visited yesterday. I was welcomed by the same familiar smile and Dhiren patting his chair saying `Sit down. Sit down.` `Have you got dinner?`
He was calm and contented and pleased I had taken a home made pate sandwich, one of his favourites.
But he seemed to have lost knowing how to bite on the sandwich and could only suck at it. He was also unable to hold it without spilling the contents. I broke pieces off and fed them to him. At least he was still chewing and not choking.
After a while he dozed off.
He was only asleep for about 10 minutes and I read my kindle with one hand and held his hands with the other.
He woke full of smiles and little chuckles.
`Have you been dreaming?` I asked. `It must have been a nice dream.`
And he told me a tale, but I could only understand one word. It was said fondly and it was `wife`, but I don`t think it referred to me.
Today he seemed to have lost more language, unless he was speaking Hindi or Bengali and I was unable to recognise it. It didn`t upset him and I was able to bluff acceptable responses.
I`m not sure whether there has been a downturn, there have been signs for a while of a very slow loss of abilities, but his contentment is so reassuring, I was able to leave with a quiet heart.
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