A life in the day of.........................
- Thread starter Grannie G
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When nice comments are given to our loved ones it is so pleasing isn't it?
I am sorry Dhiren struggled with the card, Larivy got a card for Tom at Christmas and he amazed me that he managed to write my name, his name and the word love!
Helen x
Dhiren has been in residential care for 3 years.
At first, I visited Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and Paul went on Sundays.
I made it clear I didn`t want him alone in his room and all waking hours should be spent in the sitting room. I wanted to give him time to get used to being without me and to relate to staff and other residents .
This worked well, in fact so well, it was home from home .
But the home was only half full , the sitting room was quiet and peaceful.
A new manager was appointed and the number of residents increased. The sitting room became busy and noisy, while new people found their way round and marked their territory.
Dhiren became confused, unsettled and occasionally upset.
I decided to visit daily ,to help him through this, knowing the staff wouldn`t have the time.
So this is what has been happening for the past few months but it seems to be taking it`s toll. I am very tired and because all new residents have settled I have decided to return to visiting on alternate days .
I`m just posting for the record and in praise of those who manage to visit daily.
At first, I visited Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and Paul went on Sundays.
I made it clear I didn`t want him alone in his room and all waking hours should be spent in the sitting room. I wanted to give him time to get used to being without me and to relate to staff and other residents .
This worked well, in fact so well, it was home from home .
But the home was only half full , the sitting room was quiet and peaceful.
A new manager was appointed and the number of residents increased. The sitting room became busy and noisy, while new people found their way round and marked their territory.
Dhiren became confused, unsettled and occasionally upset.
I decided to visit daily ,to help him through this, knowing the staff wouldn`t have the time.
So this is what has been happening for the past few months but it seems to be taking it`s toll. I am very tired and because all new residents have settled I have decided to return to visiting on alternate days .
I`m just posting for the record and in praise of those who manage to visit daily.
You've done well to keep up daily visits so long Sylvia, I'm sure it has taken it's toll but I'm sure Dhiren has greatly benefitted from it too as you have continued to protect him from 'turmoil' aorund him.
I have great admiration for the way that you cope with Dhiren's needs, they are always at the forefront, despite him needing to be in care. You are an example of how it can work and I wonder if the home realise the real benefits of your constant love and care. I'm sure all the other residents benefit too.
I hope you benefit too now from some additional rest.
Love
Sue
I have great admiration for the way that you cope with Dhiren's needs, they are always at the forefront, despite him needing to be in care. You are an example of how it can work and I wonder if the home realise the real benefits of your constant love and care. I'm sure all the other residents benefit too.
I hope you benefit too now from some additional rest.
Love
Sue
Hi Sylvia,
You got Dhiren through the changes that were taking place and Dhiren seems to have settled really well. You did what was needed at the time and now it's time to listen to your body and to care for yourself. I consider it good fortune that you are able to do this because you are satisfied that Dhiren is content and very well cared for. You have good communication with the staff at the home and so you can rest knowing that you will be contacted if anything untoward were to happen.
It has been a very difficult summer weatherwise and we are now in the grip of the darker, drearier winter season. It is a time of hibernation for the animals and I believe in some way for humans too. It can be about 'conserving' rather than 'using' energy and many of us feel the tiredness as our bodies respond with nature.
Love
You got Dhiren through the changes that were taking place and Dhiren seems to have settled really well. You did what was needed at the time and now it's time to listen to your body and to care for yourself. I consider it good fortune that you are able to do this because you are satisfied that Dhiren is content and very well cared for. You have good communication with the staff at the home and so you can rest knowing that you will be contacted if anything untoward were to happen.
It has been a very difficult summer weatherwise and we are now in the grip of the darker, drearier winter season. It is a time of hibernation for the animals and I believe in some way for humans too. It can be about 'conserving' rather than 'using' energy and many of us feel the tiredness as our bodies respond with nature.
Love
I think that routine is the essential ingredient here. So whether you visit daily, alternate days, twice a week, weekly, every other week .... a routine saves you spending time thinking about what you are doing etc.
And it is, as you imply, important not to take on more than you can manage. Then nobody wins.
And it is, as you imply, important not to take on more than you can manage. Then nobody wins.
Oh Sylvia, I'm not surprised if you find it tiring, if I recall the public transport takes about 3/4 hour? And of course this snow is just making matters worse. Let's hope things remain settled for a while.
Mary
x
Mary
x
I hope you can manage to get the rest you need Sylvia. I'm glad that Dhiren is settled again. X
Sylvia, you have done so well visiting daily - I know how exhausting that is. I now have 2 days a week off - Jan Time! You have surely helped Dhiren over a difficult time, and I am glad he is a little more settled now. That unsettled period adds to your stress too.
I am glad the new residents have settled too - we have a few demanding people at Roger's CH. Thankfully, there are two lounges, so the care staff ensure he is sitting in whichever one is quieter, otherwise they know he would become unsettled again. They always try to keep the noisier people in the same lounge!
Now Dhiren is more settled, try to make some Sylvia Time and relax (but not eating chocolate or biscuits!)
Enjoy your snowy evening!
x
I am glad the new residents have settled too - we have a few demanding people at Roger's CH. Thankfully, there are two lounges, so the care staff ensure he is sitting in whichever one is quieter, otherwise they know he would become unsettled again. They always try to keep the noisier people in the same lounge!
Now Dhiren is more settled, try to make some Sylvia Time and relax (but not eating chocolate or biscuits!)
Enjoy your snowy evening!
x
Yes, this weather will be curtailing my visits to Mum. I expect it has done for many of us. I've also been trying to shake off yet another cold which I don't want to take into the home.
You do really well to visit as much as you do, Sylvia. No wonder you feel tired.
You do really well to visit as much as you do, Sylvia. No wonder you feel tired.
You've probably left by now Sylvia but I just want to say to be careful and that I hope the visit is a good one and you find Dhiren in good spirits. As more snow is forecast for the south east, I think you are wise to make your visit this morning in case it comes this afternoon. I hope the buses are running regularly so you don't have to hang around in the cold.
Our snow is still very much here and deep and the roads are very icy. Unless, it improves after lunch, it will be another day of no visit for Dave I'm afraid. My daughter usually goes on a Saturday morning but is not doing so today. The roads around between us and the main roads and then between the main roads and the home are narrow and rural.
I will ring once I can be sure the carers will have got him up to make sure he is ok. If things look to be improved after lunch, I will try to visit then.
This is one of the days I wish I had gone for the alternative option of the home 2 miles away but none of us liked it! It would have made life much easier though. X
Our snow is still very much here and deep and the roads are very icy. Unless, it improves after lunch, it will be another day of no visit for Dave I'm afraid. My daughter usually goes on a Saturday morning but is not doing so today. The roads around between us and the main roads and then between the main roads and the home are narrow and rural.
I will ring once I can be sure the carers will have got him up to make sure he is ok. If things look to be improved after lunch, I will try to visit then.
This is one of the days I wish I had gone for the alternative option of the home 2 miles away but none of us liked it! It would have made life much easier though. X
Thank you Sylvia, I am coping with the help of my family and friends.
I hope your visit with Dhiren goes well and you have no travel problems. Xx
Thank you Saffie and winda.
winda, it`s good to hear you have good and supportive family and friends around you.
Saffie, if you had decided on the nearer home for Dave, just for that reason alone, I`m sure you will have regretted it.
However I do sympathise if Dave`s home is just that bit too far to ensure a safe journey in bad weather.
The main roads were well gritted and the buses running regularly so I had no problem visiting. I had a really lovely greeting from Dhiren and some pleasing comments.
He was happy I`d taken a birthday card for 92 year old E whose birthday is tomorrow.
He thanked me when I told him I had signed the card from us both.
He asked me where I lived and said he lived there too.
He asked if I come every day and smiled when I said I did.
We were watching a cookery programme on the television. We were shown how to make Moroccan spiced lamb which looked delicious. I said I would try to make it and Dhiren said “ My wife is a good cook. She can make it but I can`t."
winda, it`s good to hear you have good and supportive family and friends around you.
Saffie, if you had decided on the nearer home for Dave, just for that reason alone, I`m sure you will have regretted it.
However I do sympathise if Dave`s home is just that bit too far to ensure a safe journey in bad weather.
The main roads were well gritted and the buses running regularly so I had no problem visiting. I had a really lovely greeting from Dhiren and some pleasing comments.
He was happy I`d taken a birthday card for 92 year old E whose birthday is tomorrow.
He thanked me when I told him I had signed the card from us both.
He asked me where I lived and said he lived there too.
He asked if I come every day and smiled when I said I did.
We were watching a cookery programme on the television. We were shown how to make Moroccan spiced lamb which looked delicious. I said I would try to make it and Dhiren said “ My wife is a good cook. She can make it but I can`t."
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