A life in the day of.........................

[Grannie G]

Thank you, all of you.

Today was peaceful and quiet. No `wife` to cause disruption.

I forgot to tell you what else she said.
Saying the home wasn`t suitable for her husband, she said it didn`t really matter where Dhiren was because he was unaware of anything . He just sits in his chair , oblivious.
The manager told me the home doesn`t need relatives like that.

Anyway today was good.
My excuse for leaving, was to tell Dhiren I was going to make some soup for him and I needed to buy the ingredients.
I listed the ingredients for the soup. `Onions, lentils, split peas, carrots, butter beans.`
`I like butter beans` he said. `Get plenty.`

Oblivious?

 

[jenniferpa]

My oh my - some lucky care home will have to deal with her.

I mean to say, you can be wrapped up in yourself and there have been times when we've all said things that we didn't mean to say, but it seems that this charmer means what she says and that's appalling.

I like butter beans as well.

 

[Grannie G]

I like butter beans as well.

I`ll save you some soup Jennifer.

 

[nellbelles]

I don't like butter beans, but I hate people who presume they know it all!

Helen x

 

[jan.s]

My oh my - some lucky care home will have to deal with her.

Please don't send her over the border into Essex! I couldn't cope with her.

I am glad you and Dhiren had a better day today.

Enjoy your soup.

Jan xx

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Just dreadful Sylvia to be the butt of that woman's ignorance. Silly moo. The sooner she takes her husband away the better. ( I feel sorry for him too, as others have said.)

Enjoy your soup. Dhiren is wise to enjoy butter beans, they are a very comforting ingredient for a soup and good for the system, I believe.

 

[Onlyme]

I would have been very tempted to go over and pat her hand telling her that when her husband gets worse she will understand just what she has said to you, give her a little sad smile and walk away.

 

[Saffie]

I would have been very tempted to go over and pat her hand telling her that when her husband gets worse she will understand just what she has said to you, give her a little sad smile and walk away.

O Lemony - that is so good - and just the sort of thing I would love to have been able to say at such a time! However, sadly,I know I would never do so. It's the sort of comment that comes to me in hindsight - after I've spent a sleepless night fuming over the whole episode! X

p.s. could you practice that Sylvia, in case she is there again?!

 

[Grannie G]

p.s. could you practice that Sylvia, in case she is there again?!

No Saffie, it would not be my way. She will find out soon enough.

The woman has skin cancer and has just undergone surgery [which is why her husband is in a home in the first place]. She has no family or friends and is very lonely. [ `not surprised` , I hear you think ]. She is unhappy enough.

The reason I posted was not really to have a dig at this woman, it was to record how things can change in the wink of an eye and how ignorant of dementia even carers can still be. We all know how important TP is to us but do we realise how much we learn daily, even in the Tea Room.

 

[Saffie]

Now you have made me feel bad, Sylvia.

 

[Grannie G]

Now you have made me feel bad, Sylvia.

Don`t feel bad Saffie, I only told you half the story.

 

[creativesarah]

My first thought was

'some people open their mouth and put their foot in it and some people open their mouths to change feet!'

my second thought was what a sad woman

 

[amicalia]

Just popped in, that woman sounds so dreadful Sylvia, am so sorry that she has gone around causing distress and worry for people. Some people seem to thrive on that, or they think they do. It will all come back and bite her on the bum eventually I bet.
Hugs, though, for the damage she did, even if not lasting x

 

[Butter]

Our GP told me there was no need to worry about the advanced stages of dementia because 'they' don't know anything. Perhaps the poor 'wife' is taking guidance from our GP.

 

[oldeddy]

Hello all you People in there,

I have just joined the club, and thought I would introduce myself. I am a 78yr Oldfella who was diagnosed with the Lurgy 2 years ago.
I live in the SW of France, and spend most of my days with my dogs, in the garden, and spend a lot of time searching for things that I put down 2 minutes ago, that seems to disappear "you know those "Senior Moments" that us old folk talk about.
I am of course just at the beginning of a journey, where it leads I do not Know, and so I live each day to its fullest, and am thankful for my life's journey, because I know that at my age I have only a few years of my allotted time left and hope that my family will be spared the pain and sorrow, that many have to bear watching over their loved one's.
I hope I do not come over as flippant, but this my way of dealing with MY problem.
May I from the bottom of my Heart thank all you folk who care for your loved one's and those of you who work with and care for those of us who suffer.

 

[Saffie]

Welcome to TP. What a lovely man you sound Eddy. You will be a lovely man anyway because you spend time with your dogs and anybody who loves dogs has to be a kind person! The trouble is that you don't sound that old to me at all! It must be lovely living in the south of France, especially at this time of year.

You don't sound flippant at all but as though you have a sense of humour and a light touch which will stand you in good stead through your onward journey. Do keep coming back here, you will find people who are travelling that road with you and others who are caring for and supporting fellow travellers. Very best wishes.

 

[garnuft]

Hello Oldeddy,
Pleased to meet you. I agree with Saffie, anybody who loves dogs and gardens has won my heart.
Don't know about senior moments though, I am 52 and I put socks in the freezer and peas in the drawer
Hope to meet you again.

Gwen X

P.S Sylvia.....that soup sounds delicious.

 

[Grannie G]

Dhiren was fine today as usual.

It was his Annual Review.

C the chair exercise lady came.
He tried so hard, mainly attempts at hand exercises but he tried some leg and foot exercises too.
C was full of praise.

His Care Manager came. I left the room to attend the Review.
I told him I wouldn`t be long.
The Review was short and sweet and I returned to Dhiren to find the exercises over, C had left and he was looking very upset.

`What`s wrong? ` I asked.
` I thought I was going home.`
`You are not well enough yet.`
He shrugged with resignation.

Resident said `I don`t know why you leave him here. You should take him home.`

I`m choking on tears each time I think of it even though I know he will have forgotten soon afterwards.

 

[jenniferpa]

It seems to be my evening to be in tears about what is happening to people.

I am so sorry Sylvia. He may forget but I know you will not.

 

[Sue J]

Dear Sylvia,

Sorry that this incident has left you upset, and I wish you could forget the upset as quick as, I am sure you are right, Dhiren will.

Thinking of you
love
Sue