Right, OK. Im off to the hospital in order to catch the transport and go with OH to London.
Ill let you know how it goes.
Ill let you know how it goes.
UTIs, seizures and hospital
- Thread starter canary
- Start date
Thank you for good wishes @Palerider , @Duggies-girl . @Splashing About and @Cazzita
Yesterday was a very loooooong day and I didnt get back home until 10 pm feeling utterly exhausted and Im still feeling pretty rough this morning.
The consultant at the National Neurological hospital was wonderful. Totally debunked the idea that his problems were as a result of side-effects of his drugs, suggested prophylactic antibiotics and listened to me saying about the problems I was having catheterising him myself. Because OH has such a complex problem involving a neurogenic bladder and some other things that I dont understand, the consultant is not happy with an indwelling catheter and he suggested a supra-pubic catheter instead. Unfortunately, this involves a GA, so Im not sure what to think. He is referring us to a local team and asked us to think about it. Because OH was still an inpatient at out local hospital the consultant wrote a letter then and there and got it printed for us so we could take it back for the doctors on the ward
Yesterday was a very loooooong day and I didnt get back home until 10 pm feeling utterly exhausted and Im still feeling pretty rough this morning.
The consultant at the National Neurological hospital was wonderful. Totally debunked the idea that his problems were as a result of side-effects of his drugs, suggested prophylactic antibiotics and listened to me saying about the problems I was having catheterising him myself. Because OH has such a complex problem involving a neurogenic bladder and some other things that I dont understand, the consultant is not happy with an indwelling catheter and he suggested a supra-pubic catheter instead. Unfortunately, this involves a GA, so Im not sure what to think. He is referring us to a local team and asked us to think about it. Because OH was still an inpatient at out local hospital the consultant wrote a letter then and there and got it printed for us so we could take it back for the doctors on the ward
I'm not surprised you are exhausted, Canary. I hope you manage a restful day and get the catheter sorted soon X
That sounds like a positive, if exhausting day. Hope you get some good advice about the pros and cons of the catheter soon.
Look after yourself and have a lazy day today if that's possible.
Look after yourself and have a lazy day today if that's possible.
I hope you get the chance to discuss this more with someone local to you to help you think things through
sorry to hear this, been dealing with aged mother & Dads issues so have only just checked the forum to see how things are.
Oh lovely I hope things improve soon. x
No experience or knowledge of catheters but prophylactic antibiotics do seem to be working well for Mum!
I’m here to listen anytime ( read! You know what I mean !) if you need a sounding board about anything.
((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
ps
It takes me days to pick up now & my PWD don’t live with me! your awesomeness in caring amazes me daily!
X
I’m here to listen anytime ( read! You know what I mean !) if you need a sounding board about anything.
((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
ps
It takes me days to pick up now & my PWD don’t live with me! your awesomeness in caring amazes me daily!
X
I went to visit OH yesterday afternoon after my cleaner had gone, to discover him in belligerent mood 
I had brought him 2 changes of day clothes, 2 clean pairs of PJs, his shoes (I had thought his shoes were at the hospital, but they wernt and he had to go in his slippers. It didnt matter, though, as he was in a wheelchair), a paper and some GF biscuits, but he was annoyed that Id forgotten his rechargeable electric razor that Id taken home to charge up and he didnt like my choice of clothes that Id brought. He was unhappy that I visited so late. He told me that the hospital had lost the letter that Id brought back from the London Consultant and that he was being discharged. I checked up with the nurses and both of these statements were confabulations, which he was not happy about. I looked out his clothes that needed washing in order to take them home and he was cross that I could not take the ones he was wearing
I guess that he had not recovered from the day before and the long journey, but, honestly, he was so unpleasant that I only stayed 15 mins before I decided to cut my visit short and go home.
Havent heard any more from daughter.
I had brought him 2 changes of day clothes, 2 clean pairs of PJs, his shoes (I had thought his shoes were at the hospital, but they wernt and he had to go in his slippers. It didnt matter, though, as he was in a wheelchair), a paper and some GF biscuits, but he was annoyed that Id forgotten his rechargeable electric razor that Id taken home to charge up and he didnt like my choice of clothes that Id brought. He was unhappy that I visited so late. He told me that the hospital had lost the letter that Id brought back from the London Consultant and that he was being discharged. I checked up with the nurses and both of these statements were confabulations, which he was not happy about. I looked out his clothes that needed washing in order to take them home and he was cross that I could not take the ones he was wearing
I guess that he had not recovered from the day before and the long journey, but, honestly, he was so unpleasant that I only stayed 15 mins before I decided to cut my visit short and go home.
Havent heard any more from daughter.
I’m sorry, i really don’t know what to say. My own daughter has times where it all gets too much & she just tunes out.
it’s not helpful but understandable.
when mum got ratty with me I didn’t visit for a few days!
Made her appreciate me a little more! difficult I know but you need to recharge your batteries as well!
xxx
it’s not helpful but understandable.
when mum got ratty with me I didn’t visit for a few days!
Made her appreciate me a little more! difficult I know but you need to recharge your batteries as well!
xxx
My mum has had a ‘difficult’ day. It’s the thing I find hardest. It’s a mental battle not to feel angry or frustrated with rude or unpleasant behaviour
I’m so sorry. It’s the total frustration that no matter what you do it’s not appreciated or respected - that you have given up so much to care for another & that person see you as the problem. That’s just my experience of the dementia journey. As with all dementia journeys each carers experiences are unique as well.
(((((Hugs)))))
Hope today is a better day for you
X
@canary how are you feeling today my lovely? It’s such an emotional rollercoaster for you on top of OH illness & issues that that situation brings.
I have been thinking about the issues with your daughter a lot. My husband & children tell me that I don’t have a life outside of long distance caring for my parents - Mums in her own home with carers visiting 4 times a day 125 miles away, & Dads in a local care home with needs issues I’m trying to sort out!
my family tell me that both parents are cared for & in a better place than they were before. ...... to that I agree.......but I see the little deteriorations & my family don’t / or they do & don’t want to except it.
it’s a lonely path at times, & I am constantly amazed at the seemingly coldness of my OH to the situation. It’s an issue that I struggle with - as I am in bits emotionally & just want to talk to him about it. But my OH wants the wife he previously had before dementia stomped all over our lives, my son has emigrated & doesn’t even ask how things are? meanwhile my daughter has stepped up to the plate, she struggles with the situations as she’s only 22 I can totally understand that. Frequently my daughter retreats into herself as I do, she finds the whole situation overwhelming & I encourage her to go out & visit friends & her boyfriend at weekends to actually get away from the house & have a normal life.
Your daughter sounds as if she is living her life ( as I expect her other family & friends are advising her to - oh yes I fully expect that advice has been given by those who have no personal experience of dementia!) & this leads to her struggling to support you & accept the reality of the situation. So yes it’s a lonely road for you.
I wish I was closer & could help & support you better- but all I can do my lovely is reply to you & send you love & vrtual (((((hugs))))
I don’t speak about dementia now or my parents unless someone asks. I was told by my OH that it’s all I talk about. How I will move forward after this dementia journey ends with family relationships I realise will have its own issues & problems.
I have certainly learnt a lot about close loved ones - some insights I wish I hadn’t learnt! It’s one of life’s little conundrums I shall eventually have to deal with but for now I am boxing it up as repeatedly trying to solve another issue isn’t helping now.
Yes at times I feel abandoned & the sadness that I don’t have the huge support network some do overwhelms me. Then I post on TP & am astounded with the kindness, empathy, support & genuine care & compassion that I see being given daily. I think that’s another definition of a form of love.
Family & friends are like us all flawed & human. At our lowest points we need more than they are able to give us. It’s not easy to accept that but as I always say people who care for PWD are almost superhuman! Until they to brake....
Please don’t let this awful disease brake you & the relationship with your daughter.
I know that at some point ( probably well after you needed it) that you will find your daughter ready & able to support you with the love & empathy you deserve. We all walk the dementia path at different paces but eventually all arrive at the same destination.
With my heartfelt love & best wishes I hope this weekend is easier.
xx
I have been thinking about the issues with your daughter a lot. My husband & children tell me that I don’t have a life outside of long distance caring for my parents - Mums in her own home with carers visiting 4 times a day 125 miles away, & Dads in a local care home with needs issues I’m trying to sort out!
my family tell me that both parents are cared for & in a better place than they were before. ...... to that I agree.......but I see the little deteriorations & my family don’t / or they do & don’t want to except it.
it’s a lonely path at times, & I am constantly amazed at the seemingly coldness of my OH to the situation. It’s an issue that I struggle with - as I am in bits emotionally & just want to talk to him about it. But my OH wants the wife he previously had before dementia stomped all over our lives, my son has emigrated & doesn’t even ask how things are? meanwhile my daughter has stepped up to the plate, she struggles with the situations as she’s only 22 I can totally understand that. Frequently my daughter retreats into herself as I do, she finds the whole situation overwhelming & I encourage her to go out & visit friends & her boyfriend at weekends to actually get away from the house & have a normal life.
Your daughter sounds as if she is living her life ( as I expect her other family & friends are advising her to - oh yes I fully expect that advice has been given by those who have no personal experience of dementia!) & this leads to her struggling to support you & accept the reality of the situation. So yes it’s a lonely road for you.
I wish I was closer & could help & support you better- but all I can do my lovely is reply to you & send you love & vrtual (((((hugs))))
I don’t speak about dementia now or my parents unless someone asks. I was told by my OH that it’s all I talk about. How I will move forward after this dementia journey ends with family relationships I realise will have its own issues & problems.
I have certainly learnt a lot about close loved ones - some insights I wish I hadn’t learnt! It’s one of life’s little conundrums I shall eventually have to deal with but for now I am boxing it up as repeatedly trying to solve another issue isn’t helping now.
Yes at times I feel abandoned & the sadness that I don’t have the huge support network some do overwhelms me. Then I post on TP & am astounded with the kindness, empathy, support & genuine care & compassion that I see being given daily. I think that’s another definition of a form of love.
Family & friends are like us all flawed & human. At our lowest points we need more than they are able to give us. It’s not easy to accept that but as I always say people who care for PWD are almost superhuman! Until they to brake....
Please don’t let this awful disease brake you & the relationship with your daughter.
I know that at some point ( probably well after you needed it) that you will find your daughter ready & able to support you with the love & empathy you deserve. We all walk the dementia path at different paces but eventually all arrive at the same destination.
With my heartfelt love & best wishes I hope this weekend is easier.
xx
