UTIs, seizures and hospital

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by canary, Oct 27, 2019.

  1. Avis

    Avis Registered User

    Nov 2, 2019
    62
    You have been through the mill of late and must be in a constant state of stress and anxiety. I know we can not do much to help you but there are a lot of people on this forum who have similar problems and so can empathize with you. We are all wishing you strength and courage. God bless.
     
  2. Sarasa

    Sarasa Registered User

    Apr 13, 2018
    610
    Thinking of you dear @canary and hoping the last few days have brought some answers to where you go next with your husband's care.
    I also hope you and your daughter manage to mend bridges as it sounds you need all the support you can get.
    {{{{hugs}}}}
     
  3. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,773
    Female
    South coast
    Thank you @Splashing About , @Avis and @Sarasa for your understanding. Ive gone down with a filthy cold so didnt visit yesterday and Im still feeling rough. @DesperateofDevon your post made me cry - yes Im sure daughter is being given "advice" by people who have no knowledge of the situation.

    On a much more positive and cheerful note - son has just become a dad for the second time. His wife gave birth to a little boy last night - a second son for them. Both mum and baby doing well :D:D:D
     
  4. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,334
    Merseyside
    Congratulations @canary. So lovely for you to have something so good happen.
     
  5. Splashing About

    Splashing About Registered User

    Oct 20, 2019
    180
  6. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,898
    Female
    Dundee
    Oh such lovely news @canary - congratulations to you all.
     
  7. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,821
    congratulations on the new grandson
    Lovely news
    Xx

    I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you cry, I just wanted you to know that you weren’t alone in the family situation.
    Hoping today was a better day
    Xx

    I’ve been gluing my DNA into artwork this afternoon after visiting Dad.

    off to visit aged mother tomorrow!! So an early night for me!!
    Xx
     
  8. charlie10

    charlie10 Registered User

    Dec 20, 2018
    375
    Congratulations on the baby Canary :) a bit of starlight in a dark sky. With regards to your daughter, I wondered if she ever reads TP.....would she find it easier to understand how it is for you if she read some of your threads? Hoping you get over your cold quickly.....make it an excuse to coddle yourself! x
     
  9. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    5,305
    Female
    Chester
    Just catching up.

    Congratulations on the birth of your new grandson.

    such a long day for OH will have tired him out and made him more forgetful and more grumpy that usual, so little point in staying longer. (I'm sure it tired you out too)

    I'm in the same boat as @DesperateofDevon in that I talked non stop about mum and dementia after her crisis and OH wasn't interested. It isn't that he doesn't care about my mum, but that he can't cope with dementia and didn't fully understand it. He just lets things wash over him. (One of the reasons I'm dreading things with MIL, as he doesn't have his head in the sand, but lives in blissful ignorance - he thinks I imagine the signs of dementia I've seen in MIL - dau can see them as well).

    I'm not sure your daughter is like that, she just doesn't understand the enormity of what is going on , and I suspect your OH presents in host mode when she sees him. I'm presuming she is in her 30s and these things don't happen to your friends when you are that age either. I work with a lot of colleagues with parents of my mum's age and there are a lot of us dealing with a parent with dementia, but until you've opened your eyes to see it it doesn't make sense and you can't understand it.

    I've posted multiple times that your OH's lack of diagnosis is difficult to understand, and maybe the specialists just aren't opening their eyes either. We all know that unless the carer is listened to the full picture doesn't appear. But this doesn't help your daughter to understand it, which in turn doesn't help you.

    I know you had the option of the other catheter before - doesn't sound like they've been very helpful when the local hospital doesn't understand everything to refer you back to the local hospital but does sound like the antibiotics are needed either way.

    Sending some ((((((hugs)))))) your way.
     
  10. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,821
    @jugglingmum wise words & good insight!
    Husbands sound scarily similar! Mines so laid back at times he’s prone!
     
  11. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,773
    Female
    South coast
    Yes, @jugglingmum - what you are saying is very true. He does indeed present in host mode whan daughter is there and I think that the fact that her husbands sister is a GP has a lot to do with the situation too.......
    Believe me, it is extremely complex and, with only one exception, the specialists in London are listening to me. He has multiple symptoms, but no-one yet knows the cause. The reason the urologist in London referred him back to the local hospital is because I fear (and he agreed with me) that OH will soon not be able to travel up to London, even with hospital transport.
     
  12. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    5,305
    Female
    Chester
    I'm glad the specialists are listening to you. So sorry to hear he is getting to the stage that he will struggle to travel in future.

    GPs can be next to useless with dementia, blaming it on normal old age, which I find rubbish. There seems to be a widespread desire not to diagnose and blame something else. Friend at work's mum was diagnosed with depression, friend was relieved it wasn't dementia, with hindsight she thinks it was dementia then as that was what later was diagnosed and wishes GP had considered this, as it would have explained other behaviours better.
     
  13. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    3,284
    Nottinghamshire
    Thinking of you @canary

    I know what it’s like when family members don’t have a clue. I know my siblings believed I was exaggerating.
     
  14. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,821
    @ canary hoping today brings answers & not more questions for you.
    ((((((((Hugs))))))))
     
  15. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    5,305
    Female
    Chester
    I hope there has been some positive progress @canary
     
  16. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,773
    Female
    South coast
    OH is home now. He got in quite late in the evening and soon after I got him into bed.
    Unfortunately, he now has an indwelling catheter and he arrived back with a large bag full of pipes, bags and a stand - and no instructions :eek:. I think I worked it out and there is no little pool of wee in the bedroom, so that is good :)
     
  17. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,821
    Oh my lovely! so much for handover of care!
    hoping life gets a little easier & some help arrives today
    ((((((Hugs))))))))
     
  18. LizzieM

    LizzieM Registered User

    May 6, 2019
    40
    Feel free to pm me on the subject of indwelling catheters - lots of experience here with OH PWD. Happy to help.
    Xx
     
  19. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    3,284
    Nottinghamshire
    Oh my goodness @canary unbelievable!

    I hope things improve and you get all the help you need.
     
  20. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,773
    Female
    South coast
    Thank you @LizzieM - I might take you up on that. At the moment we are awaiting the DN and Im hoping that she can fill in some of the details.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.