Thanks
@Woo2 @Sarasa xx Yes mum had 4 weeks on SS report. Something to think about trying to use, though I'm not too sure of using it at moment and not sure a care home would be fond of accepting her at moment either while virus is still around and still in lockdown, but afterwards it might be good thing to try do.
It's been a better morning and afternoon at mums but not a good evening.
Mum was ok when I got there this morning apart from she couldn't get quilt cover on quilt properly and wanted me to do it. She'd changed her bed and put bedding in wash, it looked like she had dusted and hoovered bedroom which I was impressed by although she had majority of tallboy where keeps her bedding all over floor and got in a muddle putting it back so I helped. She was all hot and bothered and didn't want to do anything else and didn't want me to either, said it didn't need doing.
She was in quite a good mood though she has been mixed up all day and I've switched between me and 'friend'. She has always repeated a lot but now I think does it more and she can't seem to retain anything. I have lost count of the amount of times she asked today My mums dead isn't she? and W's (my dad) dead isn't he, she's been quite calm about it and not disputed it. One of times of asking about her mum she said I haven't got my mums jewellery so I reminded her where it was and she said Oh good cos I bet our - (her older brother) has got rid of everything else. A little while later after after asking about if my dad was dead she said she could kill A (dads brother) she thinks he has her furniture form when lived with dad, so she still had few mixed up thoughts about her furniture today, they were quite early on today and she didn't get upset thankfully. Mixed in with that, today she's also asked at least half a dozen times if she'd had her birthday, apparently because she noticed it was may today.
Not long after lunch she said I've not seen any of my kids, I said I'm here with a smile and she said You are love, that's lovely, but I'm not sure if she realised I was me or thought I was 'friend' but she didn't carry on moaning about kids not coming. About half four she started asking if my man, my boyfriend, or my husband was picking me up, must have asked about half a dozen times in half an hour. Then at 5 she started asking what we were having for dinner and then when I put it on about ten past and said hubby had set off she started asking if she knew hubby, had she met him, how long had we been together, she thought he'd been out with my sister, or someone else first, had she been to wedding, had she been my house, then penny seemed to drop and she said Oh - (hubby) oh yes I know -. When hubby turned up I said do you recognise him and she said Oh yes. Chatted bit to him while waited for dinner, but it was mainly repeating same questions about if working from home and if got his jobs done today.
She seemed ok while we had dinner and watched tv afterwards and we left just before 7 saying see her in morning. She rang 5 minutes after we left, Hello love its me, I just thought I'd ring for a little chat. For a change she didn't ask when I was going to see her and didn't sound hurt or angry, but had no idea we'd just left. She said she thought it was 'friend' and hubby who'd been and then a bit later said thought it was person who cared for her who had been. Was it me and hubby who'd been? I said Yes, Mum said Sorry I didn't realise, I told her it was ok and she said So your our Andrea? I said Yes and Mum said Oh lovely, did you see our Andrea then? I said I am Andrea mum, She said Oh yes you are aren't you so you wont have seen yourself, and have you been here and hubby. Then said she knew hubby had been but thought he was with someone else and asked who she mixed me up with so I told her 'friend'. She said she was sorry and didn't do it on purpose but she didn't always know who we were. I said it was ok and not to worry about it and she said I should tell her who we were, I said We do, you know when there it's just when I leave you forget who it was but it doesn't matter, I joked I was forgettable and mum laughed and said Oh no you're not you're my lovely baby, well you're not a baby but your mine and I love you so I told her I loved her. She said that was nice and she was glad I go cos she loves me lots.
She asked if I'd made dinner,what we'd had, said it was lovely then asked if it's me who goes every day. I said yes. Mum said you only just left didn't you? I agreed and she said sorry love, I didn't know it was you when I rang, I said it's ok, she said thank you and would she see me tomorrow then? I said yes so then she said thanks and we said our nights and love you lots. She hadn't got upset and I'd tried to stay bright and cheery sounding so it wasn't too bad a call.
Mum rang again an hour later Said it's me and then said I don't think W (my dad) is here. I was confused so asked what meant. Mum said she thought she'd seen my dad there when she came in but he wasn't now, then asked is he dead? I said he was and asked where she'd been before she came in. She said she had gone out in garden to water plants and been pulling a few weeds up and when she came in she thought she had seen my dad but he wasn't there now. I don't know if she had seen him or if she had mixed him up with memory of hubby being there earlier because a bit later she asked why had three plates when washed up.
She said she didn't know if she should be living there, asked where she'd been and said she thought she had been somewhere and just come back. Thought she had been in a home or something. She didn't seem to think could have been living there alone and said she'd had nobody looking after her, she hadn't been making any dinners. I told her I made dinners cos I saw her every day . She was confused and a bit more upset than last call and asked again if we'd been and what I'd what made for dinner and asking if dad had lived there, how he'd died. Thought she'd lived there with him, asking if needed find another cheaper house and if she could pay bill. I reassured her rent is paid for her and she had enough money for bills and is fine to live there. She was pleased they wouldn't throw her out. Talked about me going tomorrow and went over dad not being there again etc then said night.
She rang again an hour later at 9 and said I'm back now. She sounded really confused and was telling me she had come back to house today after she'd been staying somewhere else, she thought she'd been in a home or something, didn't know where but she hadn't been sleeping there. Wanted to know if my dad was dead but thought he had been there earlier, so I told her she'd rung earlier and said that and we'd decided she'd mixed him up with hubby, she said Oh right.
She said she thought her house had been empty with no one in it cos it looked like been dusted and like nobody been in and she thought she had been somewhere else and come back to today and watered plants. She said she can't remember anything before watering plants and walking in house. I said try not to worry about it it will come back to you in morning. Then she said she had just walked in and hadn't unlocked a door so I said that's cos you'd been in garden before came in house.
She was confused that she lived there on her own, thought dad lived there, asked if he had and how long he'd been dead and then said she remembered about me and sis paying for funeral, but then asked again if he had been there. She kept asking if she had been there long time and slept there on own and if dad had ever lived there. What had happened to him and woman he lived with. She said she would be better when she got back into it it was cos she thought she hadn't stayed there for long time. She asked if she slept in that bedroom and asked why she had single bed, I said because it was just you and there isn't much room in bedroom for big bed and she said why, has W not been here? so I told her again no he'd never lived there and she asked again what had happened to him and woman he'd lived with.
Then she asked again if she had been there long time and slept there. She was very confused and didn't sound very confident but said Ok and asked if I'd go see her sometime. I said I'd go in morning was that alright and she said yes. thank you and she'd go now so I asked her what she was going to do now. She said I don't know I think I was colouring I like colouring. I thought I'd try to change subject onto that for minute take her mind of worrying bout where lived before we hung up. I told her I did too and I'd been colouring on saturday night for ages after we'd got back from taking her home. She said oh was I at your house on saturday? so it might not have been my best idea as she'd forgot been. She said didn't know and asked if we'd brought her so I said yep hubby and I picked you up and took you home and she said oh right. Then she said I'll be alright when I get used to it here I keep thinking I've not been here, and she started telling me again about thinking she'd been away but didn't know where been and again asked if dad had been there.
Then she said she'd go and asked if see me tomorrow, I told her I'd be there bout half ten and asked is that ok? Mum said yes, then said I have been sleeping here haven't I? I said yeah we changed your bed today, I hoped it might make her feel like she had been there, and she said Oh yeah we did and I washed my bedding, alright then love thank you and we said night and I told her love you lots and she hung up.
She sounded more confused with each call tonight and not at all convinced that she lived on her own and I think she wasn't sure she'd be ok on her own. So another upsetting evening for us both