Morning everyone
I'm sorry if I offended you Ann but I sense a rising panic in your posts which I can relate to.The only thing I'll add is this:who would do all these things if you weren't there?It's a kindness to prepare our families to function without us,none of us are indispensable.As it is without you the whole pack of cards comes tumbling down.Anyway,take care,book that holiday,do stuff for you.
You absolutely did not say anything to offend me, Hun - I so appreciate all the different points of view, the support and the advice that the lovely folk on here give me x
Amy, I am so, so pleased that the financial side of things is not going to be as bad as you had feared - such a relief for you, I'm sure. We got a bit of a 'hissy fit' (we use that term too, as well as 'strop'
) from youngest last night - she came in from swim coaching with a casual 'Mum, can you make sure that my costume and kit are washed and dried for tomorrow' and it was more of an instruction, rather than a request! OH jumped in and asked why she couldn't put the things in the machine herself, pointing out that I'd worked all day and was now in the middle of cooking her tea? The 'Oh for God's sake' and the eye rolls and sighs he got in return prompted him pulling her pretty sharply and she was really cheeky in her response
Both OH and I gave her such a dressing down - which did prompt an apology (albeit a half hearted, eye rollingly-delivered one, initially) and she did she to her own stuff. Not particularly happily - but she did it! And we did get a proper apology a little later.
The hiding pads and soiled undies/clothes was such a regular thing when Mil was here, Slugsta - and yes, I think she hid them in panic, to cover up the fact that she had had an accident, because she was embarressed. And then, of course, promptly forgot, and if she happened to be around when the items were found, she would be adamant that they were nothing to do with her. I agree it seems odd that your Mum would do this, when she is (thankfully, for her sake) not concerned or upset by her 'accidents' - but then, hiding all manner of things seems so common amongst pwd's anyway. All I could do was regularly check the hiding places that I discovered - though even then, I would fail to track down one every now and again. The info that Amy gives, about dementia causing pwd's to be unable to smell certain odours is interesting - Mil had, at one time, a dreadful habit of putting urine wet clothes onto her bedroom radiator, either just rinisng them under the bathroom tap (which was pretty inadequate) or sometimes not even attempting to do that. If I didn't spot them there, went out and came back later, after the heating had come on, the smell as you walked into the house could knock you sideways - and it always struck me as unbelievable that Mil would be completely oblivious to it.
Where day care and prompting your Mum to go to the loo is concerned, I think it depends on the type of service that the DC is designed for, the number of staff and what they are told they are allowed to do. Its insurance, its costs and sometimes its down to carers/support staff being bloody minded - so many have seen wages cut and working conditions worsen, that a lot now stick rigidly to only what they are required to do in their job description. It may be that your Mum's DC has no provision to cover anything to do with continence, which technically would include prompting, and that the manager is sticking rigidly to that, even though its such a simple and as Amy says, such a basic thing
OH has managed to get todays training changed - he pointed out that legislation sayd he must have 11 hours clear between shifts (training counts as a shift) and that they would be breaking the law. Cynical me wasn't surprised that once they realised that he knew the law, they were suddenly very accomodating about changing thetraining dates!
Hiya Red - nice to see you, hun.
Yesterday was good re work - the 1-2-1 went well, my boss is really pleased with what I'm doing, I'm ahead on most targets and in the area's where I am not ahead, its purely down to the IT issues, which are down to the IT department, not me - and that has been clearly noted. One heck of an ego boost - I'd never thought to ask, but in conversation with someone else, my boss revealed that there had been 46 applications for my job when it was advertised! She added that I was the first person that they interviewed, and they had definitely picked the right person for the role - which made me feel 10 feet tall - such a lovely thing for her to say, and a big confidence boost!
On the not so good side, re Mil, I managed to speak to the Social worker yesterday morning, before I had to leave for my meetings. She wanted to know why we were even looking for a home for Mil, when there hasn't been a discharge meeting? I told her that there had been - she said, no - not one that met procedure and policy, because a social worker has to be present in order for it to be recognised as a discharge meeting, and that until that happenes, until she meets Mil and can judge whether or not she has 'capacity', until a best interests meeting is held, until a DST (funding meeting) is held and a meeting to determined if Mil is to be fully funded under the 117 or if she qualifies for CHC as well, then Mil
cannot be discharged, whether we have found a home for her or not. Although she has been allocated Mil as her client, she had received absolutely no information from the ward - she had no idea that any meetings had been held, let alone (she said) a discharge meeting that did not met the necessary requirements. She sounded quite officious at first, but as I started asking questions, then explaining all that had happened so far (including the struggle to get Mil admitted, the meds farce due to all the locums, the attempted early discharge after I'd had that awful injection, the changes of diagnosis and the lack of info) her attitude changed. She was, she said, appalled at what we and Mil had been through, from me being left to supervise and oversee all the medication changes for so long, through to the hospital totally messing up the discharge procedure. She explained that because Mil has over the £23K threshold, that a CHC meeting must be held, although whether or not Mil is awarded it will only affect the cost of her care as in where the funding actually comes from - if she gets CHC, any additional costs would be covered by 117, if she doesn't, 117 will cover it all. She needs to do a capacity test in order to meet the criteria of a best interests meeting, which must be held when discharge is being planned. She also asked a lot of questions about Mil, and grew (it seemed) more sympathetic as I answered. She said she intended to get things sorted as quickly as she could, and apologised at the set back. She's arranged to hold pretty much all the meetings consecutivly, on Monday - she again apologised, and warned me I was in for a long day, as either OH or I should be there for all of it - it'll just be me. OH isn't working on Monday night, but has a compulsary meeting and training to attend at work during the day - and nope, he can't get the time off at such short notice. Either way, although she says we can continue looking at homes, it is going to delay Mil's discharge.
Reeling from that, I left early for the meeting so I could pick up a repeat prescription from OH at the chemist. The script hadn't been done, despite the request going in last week. Into the surgery, to be met by a new and very snotty receptionist, who informed me that OH couldn't have any more scripts till he attended a medication review. I asked why we hadn't been told, as he now only had a couple of days of his meds left? She informed that they had 6,000 patients and simply didn't have the time to contact them in instances like this. I explained he was working nights and asked what he was supposed top do to get his meds in time? She shrugged. I asked if she could tell me who our new GP was? We don't have one - the surgery is now to be fully staffed by locums! I asked could he have just a weeks prescription, to last until he was able to make an appointment for this review? She said she would ask the GP - but couldn't guarantee it, and that I would have to phone the next morning to see if it had been done. I honestly don't know how the hell I held onto my temper - unhelpful and so clear that this new 'service' is going to fall so short in comparison to what we used to have. I went outside, had to ring and disturb OH, who was sleeping and leave it to him to try and sort out - I had to go to work
Got home from the meeting to find a message on the answer phone, to ring the hospital. It never rains but it pours. Mil has been transferred to medical with what seems to be another bad chest infection. Both OH and I are still full of a cold, we can't visit - the hospital are understandably firm on that - and we are at this point still waiting to hear which ward she has been admitted too. Worried sick, and not able to go to her - its horrible
Once I find out where she is, I'm going to go and sort out a ruck of new nightwear for her - it seems that 2 pairs of pjs have gone for good, and only 4 nighties can be accounted for - then lable the new stuff and get it to the hospital, so at least I know she has enough whilst she is poorly, even if I can't get to see her whilst I'm still full of this lurgy. I'm going to buy and pack another bag with toiletries for her too - last time she was on medical, her toiletry bag never made it over with her, though I didn't find that out till just before she was transferred back to the EMH ward - I don't want to risk leaving her without essentials again. I'll have to work on the IT stuff this afternoon, and tomorrow morning, so I get my hours in, and can at least print off the paperwork I need for the next week and sort emails. Thank goodness that I do have a certain amount of flexibility with this job! I've yet to find out if Mil being ill is going to delay the meetings (I can't see why it would, but lets be fair - you just never know, do you?) and its so frustrating, not to mention worrying, when we can't get to her when she is poorly like this
I'll update when I know more about Mil and i get chance - meanwhile, apologies if I've missed anyone out, and I hope you all manage to have a good day xxxx
