Hi Helen and gigi
nice to be in touch again!
Although Jan's sister is a loss, that is not really to me, as the family never visited Jan after about 2001, and I kept up communication purely as I felt that I should respect what Jan would have wanted.
It is always sad to lose someone though, and time reveals many things. I think in retrospect that the whole of her family has been in a state of fear. No excuse - Jan deserved to be respected.
Jan's last - and eldest - sister is apparently not going to the latest funeral either [too far to come to Jan's (180 miles)] - but the latest is a distance of under 10 miles......
Nowt as queer as folk. I have said I will go, out of respect for what Jan would have wanted me to do.
Helen33 said:
You sound well in your post if you know what I mean
I'm ok thanks Helen. Since Jan's passing and the funeral I have missed her a lot of course, but I always tell myself that she is at peace now, and that is what matters.
For my own part I have great support from Nina and her family, and that is probably the differentiator. I wouldn't have wanted to be a person who wails on and on about something that has passed, and where nothing more could have been done. That's where I would have been though.
It may sound crazy, but I feel the need to pass on to others that magic of Jan-ness that I was so lucky to experience. To pass on the happiness of mind, the joy of music and clouds and - well anything really.
And all the while, Jan is around me. I think of Jan now, and I think of the 35 years of joy, not the 10 years of pain and fear.
I hope you are okay too.
Bruce
xx