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WIFE has become a widow

WIFE

Registered User
May 23, 2014
856
WEST SUSSEX
Oh dear - seems I have joined the early morning "sleepless" brigade on T.P. so I am up making endless cups of coffee and copious "lists" of things that must be done and people who must be told about my husband. He hopefully is with the others "up above" with a large gin and tonic in hand, chasing bright young angelic things around the clouds, without a care in the heavens.

Having spent hours, days and months since his hip fracture and post-operative delirium weeping uncontrollably with sadness at his situation I now feel a strange calm and no tears will fall even though I am totally water-logged.

I am going to put my foot down over his Funeral - it is going to be what I would like and when I want it.
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,960
Brixham Devon
WIFE-not only put that foot down but stamp it HARD. No one should be telling you when your Husband should be put to rest. No one:mad:

Anyway, welcome to the early morning tea brigade. I've been up since before 4.00am:eek: Take it easy with the paperwork. Concentrate on you and what you want for the funeral.

As always you are in my thoughts

Love,

Lyn T XX
 

sunray

Registered User
Sep 21, 2008
1,439
East Coast of Australia
WIFE, I had that trouble with my sister with my mothers funeral, with my husbands my daughter and I shared the responsibility between us. You do what you want to do and if your BIL prefers to shoot well try not to miss him too much. My condolences too and yes, I joined the sleepless brigade for a while too. There were always so many things on my mind. Hope you get a good night's sleep tonight. (((hugs)))
 

Ann Mac

Registered User
Oct 17, 2013
3,693
So sorry to read this, Wife - sending you much love and sympathy, and wishing you strength and peace for the time ahead xxxxx
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
Essex
Oh dear - seems I have joined the early morning "sleepless" brigade on T.P. so I am up making endless cups of coffee and copious "lists" of things that must be done and people who must be told about my husband. He hopefully is with the others "up above" with a large gin and tonic in hand, chasing bright young angelic things around the clouds, without a care in the heavens.

Having spent hours, days and months since his hip fracture and post-operative delirium weeping uncontrollably with sadness at his situation I now feel a strange calm and no tears will fall even though I am totally water-logged.

I am going to put my foot down over his Funeral - it is going to be what I would like and when I want it.
Of course it's going to be what you would like, and when you want it. Those non-falling tears are strange things. I've cried more since the funeral than I did during the previous 2 weeks. They'll fall at their own pace.

Any
help I can give you in this labyrinth that is Planning A Funeral, please feel free to PM me. xxx
 

Dazmum

Registered User
Jul 10, 2011
10,314
Horsham, West Sussex
I imagined my dad up there with a big gin and tonic too, Wife, it helped me a lot. No doubt my dad will be welcoming your husband too with a good large glassful.

When I told my dad's bossy sister what music I had chosen for his funeral, instead of saying it was nice, informed me what his favourite song was, and I should have chosen that instead. It wasn't, and I didn't. ;):mad:
 

Chuggalug

Registered User
Mar 24, 2014
8,007
Norfolk
Wife, I'm so very sorry to read your news. It's been such a long road for you, and all the way through, you've shown nothing but compassion.

Wishing you strength for the days ahead, and my condolences to you on the loss of your husband.
 

WIFE

Registered User
May 23, 2014
856
WEST SUSSEX
Its certainly getting harder - I think the immediate anaesthetic is beginning to wear off but I've put best foot forward so to speak and booked date and time to register the death, collected the doglet from friend and had a good, long muddy walk on the Downs. Now my turn for a large G & T in front of the fire - anyone going to join me - I'm sorry it will only be cyber.

Tomorrow I will clear out the room at the NH - no doubt that will cause a tear to fall.
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,960
Brixham Devon
Of course it's going to be what you would like, and when you want it. Those non-falling tears are strange things. I've cried more since the funeral than I did during the previous 2 weeks. They'll fall at their own pace.

Any
help I can give you in this labyrinth that is Planning A Funeral, please feel free to PM me. xxx
Scarlett, I'm like that today. I'm in a right state.

Love as always

Lyn T
 

truth24

Registered User
Oct 13, 2013
5,725
North Somerset
Will join you in a large G&T WIFE and raise a glass to you and your loved one. Hope sunray meant not miss your BIL at the service rather than when he was out shooting. Sorry, that sounds wrong but you probably know what I mean! Will be thinking of you in your sad task for tomorrow and standing by with virtual tissues to mop up your tears. Love. Verityxx

Sent from my GT-N5110
 

katehh16

Registered User
Feb 21, 2014
33
derbyshire
Sending strength for the coming days and weeks ahead x
As for those people that are so keen to 'help' with arrangements now, were they so keen to spend hours at the nursing home or do much to support you? In most cases I suspect not.....so therefore all choices about funeral arrangements are yours xx
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
Essex
Its certainly getting harder - I think the immediate anaesthetic is beginning to wear off but I've put best foot forward so to speak and booked date and time to register the death, collected the doglet from friend and had a good, long muddy walk on the Downs. Now my turn for a large G & T in front of the fire - anyone going to join me - I'm sorry it will only be cyber.

Tomorrow I will clear out the room at the NH - no doubt that will cause a tear to fall.
Well I'll have a triple, seeing as you're paying! ;) Good positive steps WIFE, that you've booked a date and time, you have to get the Green Form before you can go further. The clearing of the room will be hard, but then it depends what you want.

I only took photos, cards etc, and left everything else for them to send to the charity shop. I know what you mean about the anaesthetic though, but you're doing great, and all your friends on TP are here beside you, as you've been for me. Mr Wife would be very proud of his girl. xxx
 

WIFE

Registered User
May 23, 2014
856
WEST SUSSEX
Lot of noise in my loft last night - sounded like a good party - thought it might be the "lads" but suspect it is only rats.

Another of those aching sleepless nights when the "what ifs" and "if only's" swirled around the
mind and I found myself making plans, plans and yet more plans which now I have totally forgotten.

Thought I might leave clearing his room until the end of the week but then decided I must not procrastinate so will do it today even though the thought makes me feel quite sick. I am beginning in quick succession to experience all the emotions others bereaved have talked about and now I realise that even though I told myself because he has not been at home for nearly a year it might not be so bad -it doesn't make any difference - I have lost my man.

Hope Shelagh (Rathbone) and G survived the Bay of Biscay - it is still blowing a hooley here in the South.

Thinking of you all with loving thoughts.
 

WIFE

Registered User
May 23, 2014
856
WEST SUSSEX
Well I'll have a triple, seeing as you're paying! ;) Good positive steps WIFE, that you've booked a date and time, you have to get the Green Form before you can go further. The clearing of the room will be hard, but then it depends what you want.

I only took photos, cards etc, and left everything else for them to send to the charity shop. I know what you mean about the anaesthetic though, but you're doing great, and all your friends on TP are here beside you, as you've been for me. Mr Wife would be very proud of his girl. xxx
I'll have to nip to the Off Licence this morning if you drink triples Scarlett!!!
 

truth24

Registered User
Oct 13, 2013
5,725
North Somerset
Can I have mine later please. Even I can't start the day with G&Tfor breakfast (although when you look at the airport bars full of people taking early morning flights, it would seem that some can!)

Sent from my GT-N5110
 

WIFE

Registered User
May 23, 2014
856
WEST SUSSEX
Can I have mine later please. Even I can't start the day with G&Tfor breakfast (although when you look at the airport bars full of people taking early morning flights, it would seem that some can!)

Sent from my GT-N5110
Dear Verity - can't face a G & T for breakfast - where's your spirit, girl?

Another strange happening - a long-legged Harvester spider who has lived in my wardrobe hanging from the hanging rail, for several months pooping on my shoes has I just noticed- moved out. Is this some sort of sign? Explanations gratefully received.
 

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