Thank you for your replies @anxious annie @Sarasa @Woo2 @canary @imthedaughter xxxxx
my sister called CH today and by sounds of it they've checked mums mouth and it's not that causig her not to eat. Sis said mums just the same they're trying to tempt her but still not eating much at all, DR is referring her for investigations. Though we don't think its anything medical really more her mood. Nurse reckons mum will be down to about a size 10 now. Before she lost some weight last year mum was a 16 top and 14 trousers though only certain styles from m&s, Last year she got a few 14 tops n 12 trousers and wore the things that had been tighter on her before she lost weight and thats what I picked plus couple more 12 trousers for when she went in CH but she has lost more weight since being in CH so now they're probably loose too bless her. Looking at her on saturday I'm not sure if size 10 is going to be generous on her she looked like skeleton with loose skin on.
Deputy Manager called this afternoon to talk about my visit saturday as it'll now be in the visiting booth, they said because they have to deep clean between every visit they're having to limit visit to 15 minutes. They told my sister this morning that we have to have temperature taken and fill in questionnaire first too. DM said I could also book for christmas if wanted now so I said we'd already booked yesterday for christmas morning, he checked diary and asked if we could come at an earlier time, which we're fine with as long as we can see mum. I can take mums presents and hand them in so she can open them while we're there christmas day. We're not sure mum will be in mood to open them or manage them all as there will be ours, my sisters and her kids have all bought her bit of something too but we can only see how she is and try. I imagine mum will wonder why she is still there and why she isn't coming to our house for christmas as she always has for well over 20 years. It's going to be a hard day but at least I get to see mum on Christmas day which is something.
DM said he'd just been sat with mum and now she was sat with 2 of the girls and she'd had a little bit of chocolate but only a bit. He said he'd asked mum why she wasn't eating, did she need some bonjela, were her gums hurting, was she in any pain, mum said No, he asked her why she wasn't eating then and mum said she didn't know. I said I ask mum when we visit, I try not to go on at her too much cos don't want to upset her and I want her to enjoy visit and cheer her up but I ask why she's not eating and will she try for me and she just says she can't and doesn't fancy owt. Even the treats I bring she says she doesn't fancy now and the prawn sandwich she looked excited about before, when I said I'd brought one this week she said she didn't fancy it and pulled a face. He said last time he saw her with one she only had a bite and couldn't eat rest but had enjoyed it before. He said she'd had a bit of supper other night when he was on duty but not much and she's barely eating at all.
He said the DR had her down for a GI exam but they didn't really think it was that. Me and my sister don't either, we think its mums mood and he did too. I told him mum was eating at home before hospital but wouldn't eat sometimes when upset, though she would usually have something later even if just a sandwich and biscuit. He said mum ate better when she came in than now, although she was very fussy and her diet wasn't good, but she's got worse and worse and now has barely anything. He said him and mum get on really well and she'll usually do anything for him but he can't get her to eat either but they all keep trying.
I didn't think about it at the time of call, but I'm assuming GI exam will either be a barium xray or endoscopy done at hospital which mum won't like and I'm not sure she'll go along with. I'm not sure how she'll react to even going to hospital again after her stay in hospital in august which she hated, she won't want to go back there again and then after the appointment when she returns to CH I think she'll have to go back in isolation for 14 days again. I don't think that will help her low mood and confusion about why she's there either and I'll probably not be able to visit during that time either.
My poor mum I just don't know what to do to help her I can't stop crying thinking of her slowly wasting away and disappearing more and more each week. She's never had much of a life or a particularly good one and now she's being tortured and tormented by dementia and I'm not even with her and can't help her.
my sister called CH today and by sounds of it they've checked mums mouth and it's not that causig her not to eat. Sis said mums just the same they're trying to tempt her but still not eating much at all, DR is referring her for investigations. Though we don't think its anything medical really more her mood. Nurse reckons mum will be down to about a size 10 now. Before she lost some weight last year mum was a 16 top and 14 trousers though only certain styles from m&s, Last year she got a few 14 tops n 12 trousers and wore the things that had been tighter on her before she lost weight and thats what I picked plus couple more 12 trousers for when she went in CH but she has lost more weight since being in CH so now they're probably loose too bless her. Looking at her on saturday I'm not sure if size 10 is going to be generous on her she looked like skeleton with loose skin on.
Deputy Manager called this afternoon to talk about my visit saturday as it'll now be in the visiting booth, they said because they have to deep clean between every visit they're having to limit visit to 15 minutes. They told my sister this morning that we have to have temperature taken and fill in questionnaire first too. DM said I could also book for christmas if wanted now so I said we'd already booked yesterday for christmas morning, he checked diary and asked if we could come at an earlier time, which we're fine with as long as we can see mum. I can take mums presents and hand them in so she can open them while we're there christmas day. We're not sure mum will be in mood to open them or manage them all as there will be ours, my sisters and her kids have all bought her bit of something too but we can only see how she is and try. I imagine mum will wonder why she is still there and why she isn't coming to our house for christmas as she always has for well over 20 years. It's going to be a hard day but at least I get to see mum on Christmas day which is something.
DM said he'd just been sat with mum and now she was sat with 2 of the girls and she'd had a little bit of chocolate but only a bit. He said he'd asked mum why she wasn't eating, did she need some bonjela, were her gums hurting, was she in any pain, mum said No, he asked her why she wasn't eating then and mum said she didn't know. I said I ask mum when we visit, I try not to go on at her too much cos don't want to upset her and I want her to enjoy visit and cheer her up but I ask why she's not eating and will she try for me and she just says she can't and doesn't fancy owt. Even the treats I bring she says she doesn't fancy now and the prawn sandwich she looked excited about before, when I said I'd brought one this week she said she didn't fancy it and pulled a face. He said last time he saw her with one she only had a bite and couldn't eat rest but had enjoyed it before. He said she'd had a bit of supper other night when he was on duty but not much and she's barely eating at all.
He said the DR had her down for a GI exam but they didn't really think it was that. Me and my sister don't either, we think its mums mood and he did too. I told him mum was eating at home before hospital but wouldn't eat sometimes when upset, though she would usually have something later even if just a sandwich and biscuit. He said mum ate better when she came in than now, although she was very fussy and her diet wasn't good, but she's got worse and worse and now has barely anything. He said him and mum get on really well and she'll usually do anything for him but he can't get her to eat either but they all keep trying.
I didn't think about it at the time of call, but I'm assuming GI exam will either be a barium xray or endoscopy done at hospital which mum won't like and I'm not sure she'll go along with. I'm not sure how she'll react to even going to hospital again after her stay in hospital in august which she hated, she won't want to go back there again and then after the appointment when she returns to CH I think she'll have to go back in isolation for 14 days again. I don't think that will help her low mood and confusion about why she's there either and I'll probably not be able to visit during that time either.
My poor mum I just don't know what to do to help her I can't stop crying thinking of her slowly wasting away and disappearing more and more each week. She's never had much of a life or a particularly good one and now she's being tortured and tormented by dementia and I'm not even with her and can't help her.