Who am I ? I won't know myself soon!!!
- Thread starter annielou
- Start date
thanks so much @Sarasa @Grannie G @Starting on a journey @canary @imthedaughter @Lorna44 @Wildflowerlady xxxxxxx
Been back to see mum today, Was there around 4 and 1/2 hours. Nurse/DM said mum had taken her medication and drank some juice this morning and seemed a bit brighter today. She was still really tired and weak and only had about 3 spoons of dinner and a little bit of topping of top of a bun, she had about half a cup of tea, a bit of juice and I gave her some sips of coke every so often, I couldn't convince her to eat though and neither could nurse.
Mum seemed fidgety and not as comfy today, she was quite low in the bed and we tried a few times to shuffle her up the bed as she had to have her legs bent and kept putting them out of bed to stretch them but mum wasn't strong enough to push herself up and I didn't want to pull too much and hurt her so we kept ending up with her in same place. She was ok with her leg sticking out a bit though and I hooked quilt over footboard on bed so not as much resting on her as she thought it was a bit heavy when it was doubled or laying on her legs and she was better when not resting on her legs as much.
In the afternoon mum needed loo so I asked carers to come and after they'd helped mum onto commode and put her back on bed, while one emptied commode, the other one of them and me moved mum up bed and she could fit her legs out straight then and was more settled. In fact she had a good sleep without stirring for quite a bit as she was worn out after getting up and onto commode and back in bed. She was quite scared to get up and out of bed and really had very little strength bless her and it really wore her out. The carers were lovely with mum though, chatting to us and acting like nothing any trouble and both seemed really friendly to mum and said she is lovely. She mentioned how mum likes to do things herself and not ask for help which is true unfortunately. Mum had mentioned wanting some water a bit before carer came in and so I told them and they asked mum if she wanted one and mum said no its ok I'm fine. She also said earlier in day just after nurse had been in that she had headache so when he came back I told him but mum said she didn't want any painkillers when he offered them. I told mum they didn't mind her asking for things or help, that's what they're there for and they want to help.
I kept asking mum if she wanted something to eat or drink on and off throughout visit but she didn't want food but did have odd drinks. I'd taken some crisps and chocolate which I ate but mum wouldn't try it. I had also taken some christmas cards and more magazines but mum wasn't really interested. Mum did say she'd have a look at the magazines at one point but then she just sat with them at side of her but didn't look at them. After she'd been asleep for quite a bit this afternoon she opened a few christmas cards though I had to help her with opening and she only did a few before looked shattered again bless her so I put the opened ones on windowsill and rest on bedside unit for another day. Mum was getting tired again but I think she was trying to stay awake to chat to me so I asked her if she wanted to nod off and I could stay or I could go home and come back tomorrow if she liked. When I'd asked her before her big sleep mum had asked me to stay if I didn't mind but I thought mum was looking like maybe had enough visiting now and Mum said Can you come back tomorrow so we said bye then.
Nurse said this morning when I arrived that mum had tv on and was watching saturday kitchen which might not be best programme and we laughed at that, I thought it was quite ironic for someone who's not eating. Mum seemed quite taken by a cherry bellini they made on lisa and johns christmas kitchen, maybe I should take her some of that. We watched tv and chatted about it a bit on and off during visit and it gave me something to watch when mum nodded off.
We had a man visit us three times today, first time he came in and politely asked about where the toilet was, I directed him down to loo and hoped I was doing right thing, he asked if it had everything you needed to go so i said yes. Then a bit later he came and asked if we were ok, so I said yes thanks, are you he said yes he'd been to toilet it was bit confusing but he had managed. I said Thats good. Then he said where was the best place for him to go for.. then tailed off so I said to go down corner that way, pointed way and said there are more people down there I think that be best way to go. He said Oh thank you I will do I go left? I said Yes love that way down corridor, so he thanked us and popped off again. He came back a third time a while later, mum was nodding when he came in so he said Oh she's asleep sorry and stepped back behind door. I said That's ok. He went out then and as he shut door he said I don't know how I'm going to get home. Mum woke up and asked who was that. I said Just that man from earlier, Mum said What did he say? I told mum and she said I thought he did, he can get a taxi. Then she nodded back off. It made me smile bless em.
The nurse/DM rang about an hour after I got home and said he'd just been in to mum and she'd had a drink of juice and she was sat up in bed with magazine on her knee and was quite chatty. He'd been quite pleasantly surprised and said he just wanted to let me know, I said that was lovely to hear. He said he thought seeing me had done her good. I said it had me. Afterwards I thought that might have sounded odd but what I meant is it is so sad and hard seeing mum so weak and not eating but I think it is harder to know she is like that but not be able to see her. We talked a bit about how mum'd been when I was there and how she'd had a good sleep but been getting bit tired again and I thought she'd been trying to stay awake for me which was tiring so I had asked if she wanted me go and I'd come home then. He knew what I meant I think about that as he said its like when in hospital it can be bit draining feeling have to perform but its good to see people. He told me to not wear myself out too. We talked about me going tomorrow and I said I would go bit later and go after lunch tomorrow if ok. I hope that's right thing to do for mum.
Been back to see mum today, Was there around 4 and 1/2 hours. Nurse/DM said mum had taken her medication and drank some juice this morning and seemed a bit brighter today. She was still really tired and weak and only had about 3 spoons of dinner and a little bit of topping of top of a bun, she had about half a cup of tea, a bit of juice and I gave her some sips of coke every so often, I couldn't convince her to eat though and neither could nurse.
Mum seemed fidgety and not as comfy today, she was quite low in the bed and we tried a few times to shuffle her up the bed as she had to have her legs bent and kept putting them out of bed to stretch them but mum wasn't strong enough to push herself up and I didn't want to pull too much and hurt her so we kept ending up with her in same place. She was ok with her leg sticking out a bit though and I hooked quilt over footboard on bed so not as much resting on her as she thought it was a bit heavy when it was doubled or laying on her legs and she was better when not resting on her legs as much.
In the afternoon mum needed loo so I asked carers to come and after they'd helped mum onto commode and put her back on bed, while one emptied commode, the other one of them and me moved mum up bed and she could fit her legs out straight then and was more settled. In fact she had a good sleep without stirring for quite a bit as she was worn out after getting up and onto commode and back in bed. She was quite scared to get up and out of bed and really had very little strength bless her and it really wore her out. The carers were lovely with mum though, chatting to us and acting like nothing any trouble and both seemed really friendly to mum and said she is lovely. She mentioned how mum likes to do things herself and not ask for help which is true unfortunately. Mum had mentioned wanting some water a bit before carer came in and so I told them and they asked mum if she wanted one and mum said no its ok I'm fine. She also said earlier in day just after nurse had been in that she had headache so when he came back I told him but mum said she didn't want any painkillers when he offered them. I told mum they didn't mind her asking for things or help, that's what they're there for and they want to help.
I kept asking mum if she wanted something to eat or drink on and off throughout visit but she didn't want food but did have odd drinks. I'd taken some crisps and chocolate which I ate but mum wouldn't try it. I had also taken some christmas cards and more magazines but mum wasn't really interested. Mum did say she'd have a look at the magazines at one point but then she just sat with them at side of her but didn't look at them. After she'd been asleep for quite a bit this afternoon she opened a few christmas cards though I had to help her with opening and she only did a few before looked shattered again bless her so I put the opened ones on windowsill and rest on bedside unit for another day. Mum was getting tired again but I think she was trying to stay awake to chat to me so I asked her if she wanted to nod off and I could stay or I could go home and come back tomorrow if she liked. When I'd asked her before her big sleep mum had asked me to stay if I didn't mind but I thought mum was looking like maybe had enough visiting now and Mum said Can you come back tomorrow so we said bye then.
Nurse said this morning when I arrived that mum had tv on and was watching saturday kitchen which might not be best programme and we laughed at that, I thought it was quite ironic for someone who's not eating. Mum seemed quite taken by a cherry bellini they made on lisa and johns christmas kitchen, maybe I should take her some of that. We watched tv and chatted about it a bit on and off during visit and it gave me something to watch when mum nodded off.
We had a man visit us three times today, first time he came in and politely asked about where the toilet was, I directed him down to loo and hoped I was doing right thing, he asked if it had everything you needed to go so i said yes. Then a bit later he came and asked if we were ok, so I said yes thanks, are you he said yes he'd been to toilet it was bit confusing but he had managed. I said Thats good. Then he said where was the best place for him to go for.. then tailed off so I said to go down corner that way, pointed way and said there are more people down there I think that be best way to go. He said Oh thank you I will do I go left? I said Yes love that way down corridor, so he thanked us and popped off again. He came back a third time a while later, mum was nodding when he came in so he said Oh she's asleep sorry and stepped back behind door. I said That's ok. He went out then and as he shut door he said I don't know how I'm going to get home. Mum woke up and asked who was that. I said Just that man from earlier, Mum said What did he say? I told mum and she said I thought he did, he can get a taxi. Then she nodded back off. It made me smile bless em.
The nurse/DM rang about an hour after I got home and said he'd just been in to mum and she'd had a drink of juice and she was sat up in bed with magazine on her knee and was quite chatty. He'd been quite pleasantly surprised and said he just wanted to let me know, I said that was lovely to hear. He said he thought seeing me had done her good. I said it had me. Afterwards I thought that might have sounded odd but what I meant is it is so sad and hard seeing mum so weak and not eating but I think it is harder to know she is like that but not be able to see her. We talked a bit about how mum'd been when I was there and how she'd had a good sleep but been getting bit tired again and I thought she'd been trying to stay awake for me which was tiring so I had asked if she wanted me go and I'd come home then. He knew what I meant I think about that as he said its like when in hospital it can be bit draining feeling have to perform but its good to see people. He told me to not wear myself out too. We talked about me going tomorrow and I said I would go bit later and go after lunch tomorrow if ok. I hope that's right thing to do for mum.
Thanks @anxious annie @canary @jugglingmum xxx
I've been in to see much each day since friday. I I think mum was more awake today and a bit stronger but she's eaten and drunk less. I think as she's getting less sleepy mums confusion is coming back bless her, Weirdly on friday and saturday when she was more sleepy she seemed less confused, than yesterday and today she has been more confused. I think she was too tired to think and talk much, but the more awake she is the more awake her brain is and her alzheimers gets back to work mixing things up again.
Mum was dressed today and was in the dining room when I arrived as it was CH christmas party at lunchtime today. Lady who let me in said mum had said she'd go in for ten minutes and she'd been there a little bit now and already looked shattered and like she'd had enough. She said she'd thought mum might eat a bit while there but she hadn't she'd just had half a cup of tea. She said I think she's ready to go back to her room now so she went to take her back to room and then came and took me there. Mum did look tired when I went in her room and she soon laid down on top of her bed.
Mum was talking about food and lunch a bit later on and i offered her a few things then opened her a bag of wotsits, mum had a couple and said they were bland, had no taste and didn't want them, I opened her bag of mini cheddars thinking they're strong flavour and she did same with them. She didn't want anything else, biscuits, chocolate, crisps. anything I offered all afternoon.
Mum was thinking she was at home today, said a few times Whose just come in? or Was that my front door when she heard doors slam or voices in corridor. Or sometimes mum thought it was my dad, my sister and one time she said that'll be Our Andie coming in. I said I am our Andie mum and she looked at me and said OH yeah you are. Mum said she fancied a cup of tea and kept saying she was going to go make a cup of tea, or did I want to make it. I said I didn't know where kitchen was but I'd go ask someone to make her one. Mum said she knew where her kitchen was and she'd make it, Unlikely as she couldn't get up off the bed on her own, let alone walk bless her. So I said again I'd go find someone and ask them to make her one. I popped down corridor and spotted admin at office door talking to DM/nurse and asked them.
Admin went to make mum a cup of tea and DM and I were talking about if mum would actually drink it as she rarely does and I was talking bit about what she'd tried eat, I said maybe her taste buds going a bit and he said it's been so long since mum ate proper she'll have forgot what its like. He asked how she was today. I told him I think mum is more awake today but now she's more awake her confusion is back and we chatted little bit bout that Then he told me not to be doing too much and burn out. I said I'm fine He said I mean it don't be burning yourself out. I said I'm fine I just don't want to be in the way and he said You're not. Admin came back with tea then so I took it to mum. I don't know why but the 'not doing too much' bit bothered me, I felt like a wimp cos I'm not doing much, let alone too much, I've only been there a few hours a day for few days, so I felt a bit like the fact I worry and don't cope well with things showed and that's what must mean. I was bit embarrassed and wimpy that I show that.
When tea had cooled a bit Mum sat up on edge of bed to drink her tea, after a few minutes of her sitting up drinking I sat next to her for next few minutes while she was drinking as she was starting to lean a bit and I didn't want her to topple over, I sat so I could hold her up if she leaned too far. Mum drank half the cup then said she wanted to lie back down cos she was tired and soon after she nodded of so she didn't finish it
After she woke up we were watching tv and talking about that but mum was also asking about my dad, had he left her, When I said they split up long time ago she said I thought it was cos I've not seen him for about four days. Then she carried on asking questions, did he give her any money, did she need to tell her mum, or tell our - and andie (my sister and me), did she need to talk to him about his stuff and hers and then after lady on tv had baby Mum said I'll need to tell _ won't I. I asked Why? Mum said That might be his daughter, meaning the baby on tv. I kept answering her in short simple answers that meant it was sorted and no need worry bout it. That's the sort of thing mum asked lots before but with barely seeing her for months it was odd to be back hearing it again. She didn't get agitated and upset about it though, or go on for ages like she did in past at home, she just seemed to accept what answer I gave her then ask another question couple minutes later.
About 4 mum wanted loo so I went and found carer to ask if someone could take her to loo as there wasn't a commode in room today. She came with someone else really quick and they got mum in wheelchair and took her to loo. Mum managed to hold it today, last couple of days she's basically said needed loo and started weeing pretty quickly and not been able stop it.
While she was at loo nurse came and told me mum had had another little fall last night, they found her on floor by bed about 11, she said mum wasnt hurt, she had few little red patches but was ok. I think mum must have been trying get up and not managed it as her legs are very weak and she can't stand up unaided. Mum had said when carers helped her in wheelchair There's somert wrong with my legs they feel like jelly. When mum came back from loo she wanted to lie down again straight away, she looked shattered. I helped her put legs up on bed. Mum said I was good and then asked me if it was a bind looking after her. She looked so sad bless her. I don't even look after her now anyway but didn't think she'd get the explanation of who did so I just said No, cause not, I just love to see you. I think getting up and even sitting upright for a while with no support wears her out.
One of carers brought mum a cup of tea and a bit of buffet food for tea, Mum said Oh lovely thank you, but she wouldn't eat it and didn't even want her cup of tea, she didn't even sit up a bit to try. I tried for about 1/4 of an hour to talk her into it. She said she'd have some tomorrow. She always puts things off bless her. I was being all enthusiastic as there were things she liked on plate and all small bits too. Mum even said she fancied something that was on advert on tv which had some ham on it and there was a little bit of a ham sandwich on plate I pointed out but she wouldn't have it.
Mum asked me to close curtains cos getting dark and then she half sat up and said she could be putting her nightie on ready for bed cos she'll be getting ready for bed soon. I said it's only just 20 past 4 mum it's not bedtime. Mum said Oh right, too early then I'm not putting my nightie on now. I said No wait a bit, it's only teatime that's why she brought you some things for tea. I tried again to get her to have some but she didn't want it, she said No and she'd just lie down on bed for a bit. I was getting bit teary then, I think cos she just didn't want to try eating, was confused and looked shattered and I felt really sad. I took a deep breath though, focussed on tele and said something bout so mum didn't notice, we chatted bout tv a minute but mum looked like she wanted to go to sleep and started asking Me when I was going home cos she didn't want me walking home in dark. I told her Hubby would come and she said Is he here? I said Not right now but he will come when I ask him, I asked if she was ready for me to go home now and mum said Mmm but will you come tomorrow do you think? I said I would if I could. While I was putting my cardi on she asked a couple of times Is -(Hubby) coming, you're not walking up there are you? So I told her (Hubby) is on his way to pick me up. I asked if she'd just to try some food before I went but she said No you can take it away if you like. I said I'll move it on table a bit out of your way but I'll leave it there for now and someone will come take it later if you don't want it. I asked if wanted anything and if be ok and then gave her a little hug. Mum asked about locking door, so I told her we'd do it and then she asked me if I wanted her to come see me off and I said No you stay there mum it's ok. Bless her she couldn't have seen me out if she wanted to she can only just sit up. It was about 25/20 to 5 when I left.
In some ways mum was bit better today, still tired and weak but she seemed more awake and had got dressed and been down to dining room for little bit and seemed a bit steadier when they stood her up for wheelchair to take her to loo than when stood her up other days , but she was still very weak and I think she had drunk less today and not eaten apart from 2 wotsits and 2 mini cheddars. She didn't eat much more than few mouthfuls yesterday either but I think she drank more yesterday.
If mum is getting stronger and not staying in bed then they may try persuade her out of her room again and into rest of home. I don't know if they'll let me carry on going in if she starts getting up and out of room more and improves. That'll be sad cos I can't visit her in person but it'd be so good if she is getting bit stronger. I don't want to confine her to her room so can see me if she might be up to getting out of room and mixing. Although she didn't seem to join in really so she may prefer her room but it's not good for her to be in it all the time.
I've been in to see much each day since friday. I I think mum was more awake today and a bit stronger but she's eaten and drunk less. I think as she's getting less sleepy mums confusion is coming back bless her, Weirdly on friday and saturday when she was more sleepy she seemed less confused, than yesterday and today she has been more confused. I think she was too tired to think and talk much, but the more awake she is the more awake her brain is and her alzheimers gets back to work mixing things up again.
Mum was dressed today and was in the dining room when I arrived as it was CH christmas party at lunchtime today. Lady who let me in said mum had said she'd go in for ten minutes and she'd been there a little bit now and already looked shattered and like she'd had enough. She said she'd thought mum might eat a bit while there but she hadn't she'd just had half a cup of tea. She said I think she's ready to go back to her room now so she went to take her back to room and then came and took me there. Mum did look tired when I went in her room and she soon laid down on top of her bed.
Mum was talking about food and lunch a bit later on and i offered her a few things then opened her a bag of wotsits, mum had a couple and said they were bland, had no taste and didn't want them, I opened her bag of mini cheddars thinking they're strong flavour and she did same with them. She didn't want anything else, biscuits, chocolate, crisps. anything I offered all afternoon.
Mum was thinking she was at home today, said a few times Whose just come in? or Was that my front door when she heard doors slam or voices in corridor. Or sometimes mum thought it was my dad, my sister and one time she said that'll be Our Andie coming in. I said I am our Andie mum and she looked at me and said OH yeah you are. Mum said she fancied a cup of tea and kept saying she was going to go make a cup of tea, or did I want to make it. I said I didn't know where kitchen was but I'd go ask someone to make her one. Mum said she knew where her kitchen was and she'd make it, Unlikely as she couldn't get up off the bed on her own, let alone walk bless her. So I said again I'd go find someone and ask them to make her one. I popped down corridor and spotted admin at office door talking to DM/nurse and asked them.
Admin went to make mum a cup of tea and DM and I were talking about if mum would actually drink it as she rarely does and I was talking bit about what she'd tried eat, I said maybe her taste buds going a bit and he said it's been so long since mum ate proper she'll have forgot what its like. He asked how she was today. I told him I think mum is more awake today but now she's more awake her confusion is back and we chatted little bit bout that Then he told me not to be doing too much and burn out. I said I'm fine He said I mean it don't be burning yourself out. I said I'm fine I just don't want to be in the way and he said You're not. Admin came back with tea then so I took it to mum. I don't know why but the 'not doing too much' bit bothered me, I felt like a wimp cos I'm not doing much, let alone too much, I've only been there a few hours a day for few days, so I felt a bit like the fact I worry and don't cope well with things showed and that's what must mean. I was bit embarrassed and wimpy that I show that.
When tea had cooled a bit Mum sat up on edge of bed to drink her tea, after a few minutes of her sitting up drinking I sat next to her for next few minutes while she was drinking as she was starting to lean a bit and I didn't want her to topple over, I sat so I could hold her up if she leaned too far. Mum drank half the cup then said she wanted to lie back down cos she was tired and soon after she nodded of so she didn't finish it
After she woke up we were watching tv and talking about that but mum was also asking about my dad, had he left her, When I said they split up long time ago she said I thought it was cos I've not seen him for about four days. Then she carried on asking questions, did he give her any money, did she need to tell her mum, or tell our - and andie (my sister and me), did she need to talk to him about his stuff and hers and then after lady on tv had baby Mum said I'll need to tell _ won't I. I asked Why? Mum said That might be his daughter, meaning the baby on tv. I kept answering her in short simple answers that meant it was sorted and no need worry bout it. That's the sort of thing mum asked lots before but with barely seeing her for months it was odd to be back hearing it again. She didn't get agitated and upset about it though, or go on for ages like she did in past at home, she just seemed to accept what answer I gave her then ask another question couple minutes later.
About 4 mum wanted loo so I went and found carer to ask if someone could take her to loo as there wasn't a commode in room today. She came with someone else really quick and they got mum in wheelchair and took her to loo. Mum managed to hold it today, last couple of days she's basically said needed loo and started weeing pretty quickly and not been able stop it.
While she was at loo nurse came and told me mum had had another little fall last night, they found her on floor by bed about 11, she said mum wasnt hurt, she had few little red patches but was ok. I think mum must have been trying get up and not managed it as her legs are very weak and she can't stand up unaided. Mum had said when carers helped her in wheelchair There's somert wrong with my legs they feel like jelly. When mum came back from loo she wanted to lie down again straight away, she looked shattered. I helped her put legs up on bed. Mum said I was good and then asked me if it was a bind looking after her. She looked so sad bless her. I don't even look after her now anyway but didn't think she'd get the explanation of who did so I just said No, cause not, I just love to see you. I think getting up and even sitting upright for a while with no support wears her out.
One of carers brought mum a cup of tea and a bit of buffet food for tea, Mum said Oh lovely thank you, but she wouldn't eat it and didn't even want her cup of tea, she didn't even sit up a bit to try. I tried for about 1/4 of an hour to talk her into it. She said she'd have some tomorrow. She always puts things off bless her. I was being all enthusiastic as there were things she liked on plate and all small bits too. Mum even said she fancied something that was on advert on tv which had some ham on it and there was a little bit of a ham sandwich on plate I pointed out but she wouldn't have it.
Mum asked me to close curtains cos getting dark and then she half sat up and said she could be putting her nightie on ready for bed cos she'll be getting ready for bed soon. I said it's only just 20 past 4 mum it's not bedtime. Mum said Oh right, too early then I'm not putting my nightie on now. I said No wait a bit, it's only teatime that's why she brought you some things for tea. I tried again to get her to have some but she didn't want it, she said No and she'd just lie down on bed for a bit. I was getting bit teary then, I think cos she just didn't want to try eating, was confused and looked shattered and I felt really sad. I took a deep breath though, focussed on tele and said something bout so mum didn't notice, we chatted bout tv a minute but mum looked like she wanted to go to sleep and started asking Me when I was going home cos she didn't want me walking home in dark. I told her Hubby would come and she said Is he here? I said Not right now but he will come when I ask him, I asked if she was ready for me to go home now and mum said Mmm but will you come tomorrow do you think? I said I would if I could. While I was putting my cardi on she asked a couple of times Is -(Hubby) coming, you're not walking up there are you? So I told her (Hubby) is on his way to pick me up. I asked if she'd just to try some food before I went but she said No you can take it away if you like. I said I'll move it on table a bit out of your way but I'll leave it there for now and someone will come take it later if you don't want it. I asked if wanted anything and if be ok and then gave her a little hug. Mum asked about locking door, so I told her we'd do it and then she asked me if I wanted her to come see me off and I said No you stay there mum it's ok. Bless her she couldn't have seen me out if she wanted to she can only just sit up. It was about 25/20 to 5 when I left.
In some ways mum was bit better today, still tired and weak but she seemed more awake and had got dressed and been down to dining room for little bit and seemed a bit steadier when they stood her up for wheelchair to take her to loo than when stood her up other days , but she was still very weak and I think she had drunk less today and not eaten apart from 2 wotsits and 2 mini cheddars. She didn't eat much more than few mouthfuls yesterday either but I think she drank more yesterday.
If mum is getting stronger and not staying in bed then they may try persuade her out of her room again and into rest of home. I don't know if they'll let me carry on going in if she starts getting up and out of room more and improves. That'll be sad cos I can't visit her in person but it'd be so good if she is getting bit stronger. I don't want to confine her to her room so can see me if she might be up to getting out of room and mixing. Although she didn't seem to join in really so she may prefer her room but it's not good for her to be in it all the time.
@annielou Sorry to hear about your Mum. You've mentioned that she said that her legs felt funny - like jelly - and she now seems to have lost her sense of taste. Has she had a covid test recently to rule that out, or a blood test to check for an infection?
I'm sorry your mum is still not wanting to eat or drink much even with you there to tempt her @annielou. I too was wondering about whether she'd had a covid test recently, though I know the sense of taste does change in people with dementia, and saying it didn't taste of much might have been an excuse not to eat something when she didn't fancy it.
Looking at the time you posted and the remarks the Deputy Manager made do take care of yourself. I know you want to do the best for your mum, but if you end up in a cycle of not sleeping for worrying about what more you can do it won't do your mum or you any good. {{{hugs}}}
Looking at the time you posted and the remarks the Deputy Manager made do take care of yourself. I know you want to do the best for your mum, but if you end up in a cycle of not sleeping for worrying about what more you can do it won't do your mum or you any good. {{{hugs}}}
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I agree, try and eat and sleep although I understand the worry
xx
I agree, try and eat and sleep although I understand the worry
xx
Thanks @Louise7 @Sarasa @canary xxx mum has had her bloods checked a few times while GP has been involved about her weight loss and they’ve not shown anything. Nurse was doing resident covid tests yesterday and did mums while I was there. Not sure when they get results. CH staff haven’t mentioned thinking it’s that,
Mum has been eating less and less since she was in hospital and a lot of the time doesn’t even try the food given. I’m not sure if it does taste bland or if its just a reason she come up with to explain why doesnt want it. Mums very reluctant to even try food. I was quite surprised yesterday when mum was talking about eating and put first wotsit in without pulling a face and tried a second, then after she said that was bland and she didnt want them she seemed happy to try mini cheddar, although she did same with that said they were bland and put them down, she’s not tried anything before without fuss and coaxing in last few days I’ve been there. She was back to not even trying food whenever I offered for rest of afternoon and at teatime unfortunately
Mum has been eating less and less since she was in hospital and a lot of the time doesn’t even try the food given. I’m not sure if it does taste bland or if its just a reason she come up with to explain why doesnt want it. Mums very reluctant to even try food. I was quite surprised yesterday when mum was talking about eating and put first wotsit in without pulling a face and tried a second, then after she said that was bland and she didnt want them she seemed happy to try mini cheddar, although she did same with that said they were bland and put them down, she’s not tried anything before without fuss and coaxing in last few days I’ve been there. She was back to not even trying food whenever I offered for rest of afternoon and at teatime unfortunately
Such a difficult time, please take care of yourself too, Annielou . Sending strength and hugs to you and your lovely mum xx
Adding to what the others say...please take care ....but spending a few quiet hours with your mum is great .....compared to what you were doing before it’s not too demanding and you can get a lot of pleasure in her company. Stay strong in difficult circumstances, thinking of you today as always
It lovely that you have the opportunity to go in and spend time with your Mum and can see her room etc.
I think it will definitely be helping her, and the familiarity with you is why the questions are coming out.
Have they not thought of the Ensure nutritional drinks...I am sure they must have?
My uncle had those as he too lost his appetite for food.
I think it will definitely be helping her, and the familiarity with you is why the questions are coming out.
Have they not thought of the Ensure nutritional drinks...I am sure they must have?
My uncle had those as he too lost his appetite for food.
Thanks @anxious annie @Starting on a journey @DianeW xxx
Rang CH this morning and mum is much the same, she'd had a drink but no breakfast. DM/nurse had spoke to GP again today and they still say same thing and keep her comfortable, well not much else can say I suppose. I'm going in again this afternoon.
They tried mum with fortified drinks and juices a few weeks ago but she wouldn't have them, they still try her but still won't. Mum drinks weak tea without milk, flat coke or lemonade, occassionaly water and not much else so I had a feeling she'd not like them. They have got her to drink a bit of fresh fruit juice a few times, she had some pineapple on saturday and orange sunday. Other day DM brought her a fruit smoothie he told mum it was, think was the fortified drink, mum pulled a face and he really had to cajole her into having 2 sips and she wouldn't have any more said she didn't like it. Stubborn lady my mum even when it's not good for her bless her.
Rang CH this morning and mum is much the same, she'd had a drink but no breakfast. DM/nurse had spoke to GP again today and they still say same thing and keep her comfortable, well not much else can say I suppose. I'm going in again this afternoon.
They tried mum with fortified drinks and juices a few weeks ago but she wouldn't have them, they still try her but still won't. Mum drinks weak tea without milk, flat coke or lemonade, occassionaly water and not much else so I had a feeling she'd not like them. They have got her to drink a bit of fresh fruit juice a few times, she had some pineapple on saturday and orange sunday. Other day DM brought her a fruit smoothie he told mum it was, think was the fortified drink, mum pulled a face and he really had to cajole her into having 2 sips and she wouldn't have any more said she didn't like it. Stubborn lady my mum even when it's not good for her bless her.
Mum sense of times has gone a bit awry now, suppose it's not surprising though as she's in her room more or less all the time now mostly in her nightie and not eating at mealtimes so not got much routine to indicate time of day. While I'm there on an afternoon once it starts getting dark she talks about it being dark and not wanting me to walk up there on my own (she thinks we live up the hill same as she did when she was at home and she thought she lived in our old house from when I was young which was in next village up the hill from her bungalow) She has been asking me to shut her curtains and when she was dressed on Monday she was talking about putting her nightie on cos thought it was bedtime soon. Yesterday afternoon she was sat in her chair when I went instead of on the bed but after she'd been to loo mid afternoon she was bit worn out and after a while she wanted lie back on her bed. It wasn't even dark as only bout half three but she asked me shut window and curtains cos thought it was nightime. When I said it was only half three and not dark yet she was surprised bless her. I think cos she was tired she thought must be night time.
When I arrived yesterday afternoon mum said You're a bit late, I had gone about 10 minutes later than last couple of days as had a click & collect slot booked from weeks ago at that time. I told home what time be there and I didn't know mum knew time I'd been going as she's no clock and hadn't known what time it was on other days I've gone. She wasn't bothered by it though. I was telling mum it was busy on roads to tesco and she was saying Oh you didn't have to come if you were busy love I'm ok.
Then she said I was going home today but I think I'll stay here tonight unless you need me to come with you. I just said No I'm fine you stay here tonight. Mum said You can stay if you want but I don't know where you'll sleep. I said It's ok Mum I'll go home later. Mum said OK but you won't walk it up there on your own will you will -(hubby) come for you? I said Yep he'll pick me up. Mum said Are you going now? I said No not for a while yet I've only just come I'll go later. Mum said Ok love good. We watched a bit of tele for few minutes and mum said Where will I sleep? I said Here. Mum said Said Oh is that my bed? So I said Yep this is your bed. Mum said I thought it was thats good then.
During afternoon she seemed to think she was at home though as each time she heard anyone in corridor she'd ask who'd come in or was that her door etc like she did yesterday. I think she thought we were sat in her bedroom and had moved chair and tv in there cos she asked if I was ok sat on end of bed and said We just brought chair in from the room as not enough room for settee. I just said I was fine.
Mum seemed a bit stronger yesterday, she pushed herself up on chair arms and lifted her bum up to move about on chair a couple of times which she hadn't been able to do in bed other days and when she needed loo and carer and I helped her up and into wheelchair she seemed a bit steadier and stronger. Although when she came back after she'd been to loo and carers sat her back in chair she looked shattered like it had worn her out. When she wanted to lie on bed later on she had no strength when I was trying to help her stand up, she couldn't push up and I don't want to pull her up myself as not trained to do it safely and don't want to hurt her, so after couple of failed attempts I ended up sliding chair over to side of bed so mum only had to stand and turn slightly and I thought we'll have one more go and if not I'll get carers to help. We managed it, I did have to lift and support her more though as she didn't have much energy to push up but she was ok once standing to turn slightly and sit down on end of bed and then she lay back and I helped her lift her legs on bed. Mum forgets she can't stand though and when we first tried to stand her up out of chair and she couldn't do it a minute later she said I'll just launch myself over on to bed I only have to turn a bit. I said It's not that bit mum it's the standing up bit we're struggling with. Mum said How do we know I haven't tried. Bless her it was only a minute before that we'd tried. When we had got her on bed and I pushed chair back into usual place and sat on it mum said Did I walk over here or come in wheelchair? cos she'd forgot how we'd done it already. Not that it mattered really we'd got her there that was what mattered.
She still seems to be recognising me as Andie most of times but there's been odd little moments where she talked about our Andie not realising that's me for a second and yesterday when carers wheeled her back in room after loo. I'd heard them coming so held door open and I said Are you back then? Mum said Hello Mum have you just come down. Carer looked at me bit surprised. I didn't say anything and by time they finished getting Mum out of wheelchair I think she'd got me back. The odd minute here and there is ok and expected but I hope with seeing me more now she doesn't start mixing me up and getting annoyed about it again ?
I rang this morning to check ok to go again today, let them know what time going and ask how mum is. They said she is same, had a drink but no breakfast. She has been taking her meds again since weekend so that's good, although nurse said she did pull a face and wasn't very happy bout it but took them.
When I arrived yesterday afternoon mum said You're a bit late, I had gone about 10 minutes later than last couple of days as had a click & collect slot booked from weeks ago at that time. I told home what time be there and I didn't know mum knew time I'd been going as she's no clock and hadn't known what time it was on other days I've gone. She wasn't bothered by it though. I was telling mum it was busy on roads to tesco and she was saying Oh you didn't have to come if you were busy love I'm ok.
Then she said I was going home today but I think I'll stay here tonight unless you need me to come with you. I just said No I'm fine you stay here tonight. Mum said You can stay if you want but I don't know where you'll sleep. I said It's ok Mum I'll go home later. Mum said OK but you won't walk it up there on your own will you will -(hubby) come for you? I said Yep he'll pick me up. Mum said Are you going now? I said No not for a while yet I've only just come I'll go later. Mum said Ok love good. We watched a bit of tele for few minutes and mum said Where will I sleep? I said Here. Mum said Said Oh is that my bed? So I said Yep this is your bed. Mum said I thought it was thats good then.
During afternoon she seemed to think she was at home though as each time she heard anyone in corridor she'd ask who'd come in or was that her door etc like she did yesterday. I think she thought we were sat in her bedroom and had moved chair and tv in there cos she asked if I was ok sat on end of bed and said We just brought chair in from the room as not enough room for settee. I just said I was fine.
Mum seemed a bit stronger yesterday, she pushed herself up on chair arms and lifted her bum up to move about on chair a couple of times which she hadn't been able to do in bed other days and when she needed loo and carer and I helped her up and into wheelchair she seemed a bit steadier and stronger. Although when she came back after she'd been to loo and carers sat her back in chair she looked shattered like it had worn her out. When she wanted to lie on bed later on she had no strength when I was trying to help her stand up, she couldn't push up and I don't want to pull her up myself as not trained to do it safely and don't want to hurt her, so after couple of failed attempts I ended up sliding chair over to side of bed so mum only had to stand and turn slightly and I thought we'll have one more go and if not I'll get carers to help. We managed it, I did have to lift and support her more though as she didn't have much energy to push up but she was ok once standing to turn slightly and sit down on end of bed and then she lay back and I helped her lift her legs on bed. Mum forgets she can't stand though and when we first tried to stand her up out of chair and she couldn't do it a minute later she said I'll just launch myself over on to bed I only have to turn a bit. I said It's not that bit mum it's the standing up bit we're struggling with. Mum said How do we know I haven't tried. Bless her it was only a minute before that we'd tried. When we had got her on bed and I pushed chair back into usual place and sat on it mum said Did I walk over here or come in wheelchair? cos she'd forgot how we'd done it already. Not that it mattered really we'd got her there that was what mattered.
She still seems to be recognising me as Andie most of times but there's been odd little moments where she talked about our Andie not realising that's me for a second and yesterday when carers wheeled her back in room after loo. I'd heard them coming so held door open and I said Are you back then? Mum said Hello Mum have you just come down. Carer looked at me bit surprised. I didn't say anything and by time they finished getting Mum out of wheelchair I think she'd got me back. The odd minute here and there is ok and expected but I hope with seeing me more now she doesn't start mixing me up and getting annoyed about it again ?
I rang this morning to check ok to go again today, let them know what time going and ask how mum is. They said she is same, had a drink but no breakfast. She has been taking her meds again since weekend so that's good, although nurse said she did pull a face and wasn't very happy bout it but took them.
Mum was same yesterday. It looked like two carers had just helped her have a wash and get dressed yesterday when I arrived. Mum was sat in her chair. She asked me to do her bra up as it was on but not fastened. I fastened it but it was just laying on top of her,. Her chesticles, which mum always wore sort of low down,, are now just flaps of skin and they were hanging under the bra. We tried hoicking them in but didnt really manage it. It kept creeping up when she moved round and not long before I left she said it was annoying her and asked me to undo it. We were going to take it off but it meant mum having to take her arms out of cardi and top and she didnt feel upto it.
I took her a piece of lemon meringue yesterday. We used to enjoy it and we had talked about it the other day after saw it on tele. I thought tartness might be a flavour still enjoyed and not bland like mum keeps saying everything is. When i told mum she seemed enthusiastic and said ooh lovely. She was laughing at me cos I had took it in small tupperware boxes we could use as dishes and took spoons too. I’d taken a piece for me in another box hoping me eating at same time might help. Mum went straight in and took a spoonful but she said it was sour. A change from bland i suppose. I tried telling her to have more meringue with lemon bottom cos she had mainly had bottom but she wouldn't have any more. I ate some of mine and kept saying it was nice with the meringue and would she try bit more but she didnt. She said she didnt think she’d eaten for about four weeks but she didnt know why. ?
She wanted loo again while i was there so i said i’ll go get someone to help you. Mum thought she could go on her own, she forgets how weak she is till she tries to get up and she thought she was at home again with her bathroom opposite her bedroom. I dont like having to go for help, carers are usually down at other side of home in lounges so i have to walk down to find them and interupt what doing and I feel bad asking them to help her when I’m there. When they came to take mum to loo they asked if she wanted walk or go in chair, mum said no, they didnt no which she meant no to so asked if she wanted to walk and mum said yeah but once up she didnt set off she said she was scared and just went to sit down, mum gave no warning just sat. Luckily they had good hold of her hand cos she just sort of drops back to sit. They got wheelhair and said shall we go in chair instead, mum pulled a face and said something bout looking old in chair. They said it be quicker and I said Why walk when you can ride mum. Trying to make a joke out of it and her not feel bad using it, but I hope carers didnt think i was encouraging her to be lazy and not try walking.
I could hear them coming back a few minutes later so held door open for them. I heard them ask mum if we were watching anything good on tele, mum said she wasnt really watching cos was listening to her daughter rabbiting. Then when they came in mum said Oh my other daughters here now its our Andie. She must have thought it was my sister while at loo. Yesterday she called me mum when came back from loo. That used to happen a lot at home she’d go loo and come back in room and think I’d just come, or ask where someone else had gone.
Mum was shattered after loo trip. She was drinking a cup of tea before she went and had bit more when came back but then nodded on and off for a bit so it went cold. Nurse came in a couple of times and there was something happening on corridor so mum kept waking up. Her bra was annoying her which I undid for her and her bum was aching a bit from sitting as shes no fat as padding now. I’d put a pillow behind her bottom earlier which helped for a bit and I put another over top side of chair to rest her head on after loo trip when she started nodding but she was getting tired and fidgety. Mum sat forward for a bit and said she was feeling yucky and coughed when she was talking. I got her to drink a bit of water and she blew her nose and the yucky feeling seemed to pass. She’d said she had
headache earlier but didn’t want painkillers.
We chatted for a little bit but mum was looking tired and started talking about me not being late going up home as she didnt want me walking up there in dark so I asked if she was ready for me to go home. Mum said mm she was thinking of maybe laying on bed or having a nap. I offered to help her on bed but she didn’t want me to and said she might stay in chair and get on bed later. She was starting to drift a bit so I said I’d get hubby to come for me. I asked mum again if wanted go on her bed but mum said not right now. I told her not to try by herself to ask someone help her when they came in and we said bye.
I saw nurse as I was leaving so I told him mum was tired now. I said mum was still in her chair but had talked about laying on bed but didnt want me to help her over but she might change her mind. He said they’d keep eye on her. Nurse said he thought mum seemed brighter when I was there. Mums still not eating and not drinking much though.
I took her a piece of lemon meringue yesterday. We used to enjoy it and we had talked about it the other day after saw it on tele. I thought tartness might be a flavour still enjoyed and not bland like mum keeps saying everything is. When i told mum she seemed enthusiastic and said ooh lovely. She was laughing at me cos I had took it in small tupperware boxes we could use as dishes and took spoons too. I’d taken a piece for me in another box hoping me eating at same time might help. Mum went straight in and took a spoonful but she said it was sour. A change from bland i suppose. I tried telling her to have more meringue with lemon bottom cos she had mainly had bottom but she wouldn't have any more. I ate some of mine and kept saying it was nice with the meringue and would she try bit more but she didnt. She said she didnt think she’d eaten for about four weeks but she didnt know why. ?
She wanted loo again while i was there so i said i’ll go get someone to help you. Mum thought she could go on her own, she forgets how weak she is till she tries to get up and she thought she was at home again with her bathroom opposite her bedroom. I dont like having to go for help, carers are usually down at other side of home in lounges so i have to walk down to find them and interupt what doing and I feel bad asking them to help her when I’m there. When they came to take mum to loo they asked if she wanted walk or go in chair, mum said no, they didnt no which she meant no to so asked if she wanted to walk and mum said yeah but once up she didnt set off she said she was scared and just went to sit down, mum gave no warning just sat. Luckily they had good hold of her hand cos she just sort of drops back to sit. They got wheelhair and said shall we go in chair instead, mum pulled a face and said something bout looking old in chair. They said it be quicker and I said Why walk when you can ride mum. Trying to make a joke out of it and her not feel bad using it, but I hope carers didnt think i was encouraging her to be lazy and not try walking.
I could hear them coming back a few minutes later so held door open for them. I heard them ask mum if we were watching anything good on tele, mum said she wasnt really watching cos was listening to her daughter rabbiting. Then when they came in mum said Oh my other daughters here now its our Andie. She must have thought it was my sister while at loo. Yesterday she called me mum when came back from loo. That used to happen a lot at home she’d go loo and come back in room and think I’d just come, or ask where someone else had gone.
Mum was shattered after loo trip. She was drinking a cup of tea before she went and had bit more when came back but then nodded on and off for a bit so it went cold. Nurse came in a couple of times and there was something happening on corridor so mum kept waking up. Her bra was annoying her which I undid for her and her bum was aching a bit from sitting as shes no fat as padding now. I’d put a pillow behind her bottom earlier which helped for a bit and I put another over top side of chair to rest her head on after loo trip when she started nodding but she was getting tired and fidgety. Mum sat forward for a bit and said she was feeling yucky and coughed when she was talking. I got her to drink a bit of water and she blew her nose and the yucky feeling seemed to pass. She’d said she had
headache earlier but didn’t want painkillers.
We chatted for a little bit but mum was looking tired and started talking about me not being late going up home as she didnt want me walking up there in dark so I asked if she was ready for me to go home. Mum said mm she was thinking of maybe laying on bed or having a nap. I offered to help her on bed but she didn’t want me to and said she might stay in chair and get on bed later. She was starting to drift a bit so I said I’d get hubby to come for me. I asked mum again if wanted go on her bed but mum said not right now. I told her not to try by herself to ask someone help her when they came in and we said bye.
I saw nurse as I was leaving so I told him mum was tired now. I said mum was still in her chair but had talked about laying on bed but didnt want me to help her over but she might change her mind. He said they’d keep eye on her. Nurse said he thought mum seemed brighter when I was there. Mums still not eating and not drinking much though.
I'm sure your mum is brighter when you are there @annielou . She will appreciate your company, being with her, holding her hand and "rabbiting on"! Take comfort in this precious time. You're not being a nuisance asking the carers for help for your mum, they are there to support her and you, and it sounds as if they really care. You found such a good home for your mum and are there for her , a wonderful daughter xx
