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Who am I ? I won't know myself soon!!!

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,319
Bedford
Sorry to hear that your Mum has the sniffles. I hope she is better today so you can make the hospital appointment tomorrow with Mum. I guess it will be difficult having to explain in front of your Mum. I know I hate that scenario - I try and say it quietly as Mum is a little deaf and keep my fingers crossed she does not hear. I hope the macular hole is not getting worse. OH had one ‘fixed’ 2 years ago and was meant to have it checked up in March but the appointment was cancelled.
Fingers crossed for your Mum.
Glad to hear the painting is progressing a little more smoothly.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,027
South East
Yes I second that @annielou , hope app goes well tom . I too whisper about mum’s diagnosis or I wrote it down on a piece of paper and hand it to them . Hope mum is feeling better and painting is going well .
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,308
Yorkshire
Thanks @Bikerbeth @Woo2 xx Mum's cold was worse today so I asked hospital to reschedule her appointment, unfortunately new appointment isn't till beginning of June so I hope her eye is ok till then X.
She's been a bit more confused today with not feeling well and asked lots of questions, but she was in quite a good mood.
Mum didn't do any painting again today but I got the other door, it's frame and the rest of the skirting board done so there is just the radiator to do now. She didn't make any comments about how or why I was doing it this or that way today, she just kept telling me how good I was for doing it.
I was going to call carers this afternoon and cancel tomorrow visit but I miss-timed it and it was too late so I'll call tomorrow, maybe after I ring mum in the morning.
Before I left tonight I wrote mum a note reminding her time and channel that the repair shop was on as she loves it and I asked if she also wanted me to write down I had been today and will go tomorrow. She keeps forgetting who has been and ringing to ask if it was me when I go home. She'd been asking who I was for most of the day today and for the last hour I was there she had been asking if I'd been there all day etc so I also wrote that down on notepad hoping it would help her after I left. She hadn't rung when I was on my way home like she has done last few days so I hope it helps her. X
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,027
South East
I’m glad the painting went ok and you are cracking through it 👍 , sorry to hear mum isn’t feeling better, hope she does soon . Shame you had to cancel hospital app bit think it’s def the right decision as it would be worse if she is confused due to illness , June will soon be here .... well of course it will zoom by because we will soon be joining the 48 club 😁.Wow the note you left seems to have made a big difference , you are so thoughtful, need to start taking a leaf out of your book. Have a good evening.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,308
Yorkshire
Just had call from mum at quarter past ten. Andie have you been here today painting? Then she set off asking if this was house her and dad lived in, is it hers, am I sure, why is her new rug there, its got two big cupboards in she doesn't have cupboards, does she have another house, has she only got a single bed, doesn't she live in .... (house lived in when her and dad were together) and lots of other things about if things are hers, what street she lives on, has dad lived there she sounded really confused and kept asking more or same questions again and again.
She also said a few times that she thought there had been lots of people there in the house which is a worry. I'm not sure if she imagined them, if she was nodding off and heard people on tv and confused them with being there, or if its because she was confusing me and hubby with friend and hubby being there earlier and thought we'd all been.
I tried my best to answer her questions as gently and calmly as possible and I tried to tell her that with her not feeling well she'd be tireder than normal and was just mixing things up a bit, hoping to reassure her the house is hers and she should be there but I don't know if it worked. She didn't sound totally convinced and still sounded confused but said she was going to go to bed and would see me in the morning.
I hope she does go to bed and gets some sleep, I'm worried she'll stay up trying to work things out. I was planning on going to bed about now as I've been feeling bit slow tonight but now don't know if I should stay up just in case or if I'll even be able to sleep.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,027
South East
Sorry to hear that @annielou , like you said it’s probably the cold playing havoc with mum , hopefully she will be sound asleep now , meanwhile you are left stewing , fingers crossed you can get some sleep too. You could end up laying awake while mum is happily in the land of nod . 🤗 Xx
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,308
Yorkshire
Thanks @Woo2 x I hope she is asleep 🤞 I am sat here stewing, wide awake and worrying.
I'm having a hot flush at mo so when that's over I might try going to bed. I always sleep with phones at side of bed with ringers on high so can hear them through my ear plugs so I might as well try and sleep I suppose.
Thanks for the hug 🤗 one back for you x
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,027
South East
You will hear them as you will sub consciously have one ear open . Hope the power surge passes soon and you get some sleep . Hugs always appreciated thanks 😴
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,319
Bedford
I am glad that you were able to progress the decorating well today but sorry to hear that your Mum is still poorly and that it is adding to her confusion. It is also a shame she won’t make the hospital appointment but at least you do have a rescheduled one.
It still seems like the note was a good idea even if you received the later phone call. I hope that your Mum did go to bed and sleep even though you were left wide awake and fretting. I hope you have also managed to get some sleep with no further phone calls.
Wishing that your Mum is feeling better, you managed a good nights sleep and sending a hug as well. Do you have the carer coming in today so you can have a break.
You are still doing a grand job please remember that
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,308
Yorkshire
Thanks @Woo2 @Bikerbeth xx
Carer due today but think I'll cancel again as mums cold was worse yesterday. I meant to do it yesterday afternoon but left it too late so will ring this morning.
Didn't get any more calls last night so hoping means mum was ok and asleep.
Power surge Woo2 lasted bout half an hour so I decided to have one last look for online shopping slots before bed. It said I was in a queue so I thought I'd wait as maybe they were adding next slots and after a while I managed to get a delivery in a fortnight. I was late to bed but at least got a shopping delivery out of it.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,027
South East
I was in queue when talking to you too but didn’t manage to get one , will try again tonight . Glad you had no more phone calls , I’m sure if Mum was awake/confused you would of heard, the cold is probably making her more tired . I agree cancel carer it’s a pain but protect the carer now and hopefully they will stay healthy and you can have them back soon as mum better . Hope today is ok for you , got to agree with @Bikerbeth again you are doing amazing 😊
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,308
Yorkshire
Oh thats s shame @Woo2 :( hope you get one tonight 🤞 I feel like I'm never off the website lately constantly checking for slots. Hubby or I are going to have to go shopping this week which I'm dreading.
Just rang carers but not open yet so left a message, will keep my phone with me in case ring me to check. I'd feel so guilty if they caught mums cold and had to be off work or passed it on to someone else. I know they try to stay apart and wear mask now, wash hands when arrive etc and I do try to anti bac wipe things like remote, door handles, fridge door, kettle etc before they come but mum doesn't think of it when I'm not there, and does have a tendency to follow people and stand close to them. I hope she start feeling better soon and they can come back soon.
Hope you have a good day today, your mum is in good mood and you get a bit of time to yourself x
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,308
Yorkshire
@Bikerbeth meant to ask yesterday how is hubbys eye after op? is his vision improved a lot? Someone who works with hubby had theirs done last summer and is hoping it will continue to improve as not as good as they hoped yet.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,027
South East
Thank you, you too. Mum happy at the moment 🤞 I will keep trying to get slot . I’m quite surprised Dementia doesn’t class as vulnerable ?! If I was ill who would look after mum .I’m sure carer will get message ok , have a good day .
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,319
Bedford
I was just thinking you could probably do with a bit of a break too you are right and have made the right decision. Glad you got your shopping slot and sorry you did not @Woo2. Fingers crossed for tonight for you. I am in a different situation and decided not to try and get online delivery as far more need them than us - as in me and OH not people like you Annielou and Woo2 and many others on here. If it is any consolation when I went yesterday the one way system in my store did make me feel a little better. The shop probably took a little longer as people would just stop to cross items off their shopping list. I think only one person did not respect it and staff did give them a polite reminder.
With regards eye op. Yes he says his sight has improved although the hole is not totally closed. He did have to have the cataract operation 12 months later which I understand is fairly standard after the macular hole operation. OH went to one hospital but his mate who went to a different hospital had the hole closed and the cataract operation at the same time.
I hope you both have good days
 
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Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,027
South East
I knew you meant well @Bikerbeth , I am happy to go to the shops but hubby in full panic mode and I think he worries I will get it and who will look after mum , I am not sitting up until silly o’clock though , done it for a few nights so will just have to go to shop , it’s the thought of leaving mum for a long time as there is a big queue apparently before you even get in there ,but got to be done though. Glad oh eye is better 👍 keep him away from garden ornament scrubbing though just to be safe 😂 have a good day, hope you are getting to enjoy the lovely weather .
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,308
Yorkshire
Glad his eye is better @Bikerbeth x Mum wouldn't have hers done as had to go to hospital in city rather than our town hospital and she said she didn't want to go there because she didn't like it. She didn't know which of the 4 hospitals it has that she'd go to but she knew she didn't want to go and then after a year when she thought might it was too late as chances of it working deteriorate the longer had it. She has said she'll have other eye done if her partial hole develops into a full one but she'd be in a state and struggle with it with her other eye being not much good and don't know how she'd cope with op as it was hard enough when she had her cataracts done other year so I just hope it doesn't get worse.
@Woo2 I realised just now our delivery slot is in 3 week not a fortnight like I thought. Must have been sleepy when I did it, I ordered mum a birthday cake thinking it was coming day before when in fact its actually a few days after her birthday :rolleyes: Hubby went to local supermarket today for some things to get us through weekend but didn't have much at all that we wanted so we'll have to try again tomorrow or Saturday. Good luck with your shopping 🍀
Mum was made up and feeling grotty when I went this morning so I was glad I cancelled carer. Care manager rang to let me know got my message and ask how mum was and was very nice about it and said if don't hear from me she'll send carers as normal next week. I hope mums better by then 🤞I have missed my afternoons off and I don't want mum to go too long without seeing them and not feel as comfy with them.
She's been more confused again today, asking who I am who married to, where I live, talking about dad and her mum and her other houses again. She knew at times she was wrong and wanted to know why she does it and apologised for not knowing who I am bless her. I said my usual about her brain getting tired and she forgets new memories and remembers old ones and when she said it was early in day for it to be tired I told her it was cos she's not well so its harder work to concentrate today.
She kept on asking questions through afternoon and evening when hubby came too. She said before he came that she didn't know him and our Andie wasn't married. She will ask me if I'm her daughter and then talk about Our Andie to me as if its a third person not me. She told me earlier in afternoon when we were knitting and she'd just asked me if I was her daughter, that our Andie doesn't knit. She also said our Andie can't go to see her everyday because she works.
She's mixed up lots of other things too but then she often does. We were watching a tv programme from the 90s today and she asked me if I had seen it and I said I had and used to like it, she told me her mum used to like it too. (she died about 20 year before it was on) She told me her mum used to like my sisters first husband, which she also told me yesterday, sis was only about 5 when nannan died. She talks about her mum and my dad a lot in relation to things they never did. We were watching a place in the sun and ended up talking about holidays and mum said she'd been a place with dad that she hadn't, she'd been with me, hubby and my niece and nephew.
We ended up talking about nits tonight and I said I'd never had them and mum told me neither had Our Andie and ...... (my sis) until sis had kids and one of them caught them at school and they all got them. I said I used to ask you to check my hair because my head itched didn't I mum but it was usually just an excuse to lay on her knee and her comb my hair as I liked it and she said Yes you did and laughed. Then a few minutes later she told same story but it was her who used to ask her mum to do it.
When we were on our way home tonight my mobile rang and when I answered mum said Are you ever going to come and see me Andie! She sounded quite annoyed so I said I've just left you mum I've been today. Oh have you was that you? So I explained that yes I'd been there since this morning Hubby had come for dinner and we'd just left. So she said Oh I am sorry love. I told her it was ok not to worry about it and then said I'd be going again in morning and she seemed happier and we said our love you lots and night nights.
I've found today really tiring and had a headache for quite a lot of it, mum did ask me this afternoon if I was mad at her cos I was quiet so I told her no I just had bit of a headache and tried to make more of an effort to chat to her and not let it show and I think I did ok as she didn't ask anything like that again.
 
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Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,319
Bedford
Hi @Woo2 - just to let you know I messed my words up again - when I said ‘us’ I meant me and OH. You, annielou and many others caring for a PWD and all the other vulnerable people need those delivery slots far more than me and him do. Sorry my brain and typing do not always stay in sinc. I really need to read back before I post.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,027
South East
Morning @Bikerbeth , I’m so sorry it was my wording not yours , really sorry I made you feel that way😗. Hope you have a nice day in the garden planned . X

I’m sorry too for you @annielou that mum had a mixed up day , you can literally see it building up while her cold was brewing , hopefully a few days and she will be feeling better . It used to get me that I couldnt have a quiet time without mum getting stroppy . Fingers crossed you can have carers back next week and get a little time off . We went outside to do our clapping last night , came back in and it was being shown on tv and mum was clapping away , she says hello and goodbye to people on the tv sometimes . Hubby managed to get a slot last night as I had given up and went to bed , he came rushing in asking for me to checkout before he lost slot , so think he has a new job now🤣. Wishing you a less confusing , tiring day and hope mum feels better .🤗 Take care
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
291
I am with Ocado, have been for years and have been well looked after. Now have a slot every 9/10 days booked in advance.
I am lucky, I only went to Ocado when mum was living on her own on the south coast and it was the only one delivering to her area. I used to order what she needed knowing that they would put her shopping on the kitchen table for her.
I am scared of going out; both daughters are teachers and some days they go into work for key worker children. My eldest said social distancing is impossible with little ones....she was grabbed by one just walking through the door!
My friends daughter is a doctor on a Covid Ward...the daughter is a star!!