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Who am I ? I won't know myself soon!!!

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,700
South East
Ha ha I am sitting here trying to say it the way you have spelt it out and I am getting some very weird looks ! Absolutely .... your best is great so just keep doing what you are ☺ . X
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,173
Bedford
The saying made me smile too.
I always felt bad when I argued with Mum when she developed dementia but on the other hand we argued pre dementia so maybe it is not too bad to have an argument for old time sake if that makes sense. Maybe deep down it releases tension for your Mum too in a safe environment (the subject of the argument actually not being too relevant) Apologies if this not applicable in your case.
On the positive you have another wall painted, your Mum still likes the colour and you have the afternoon to do whatever you need or want to do. I also hope that hubby internet and conference calls are going better.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,700
South East
Snap , mum and me too , we are so similar that we clashed . I would also argue black is white just to have a good old heated debate with her . I miss that now as she just agrees with what anyone says .
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,062
Yorkshire
My luck seems to have run out re decorating and mum not changing her mind. Today mum has decided again that she doesn't like colour we got for chimney breast. She likes the colour I've painted so far and would prefer it on all walls but there is still a side wall to paint and I'm sure there won't be enough paint for chimney too as not much left. She was talking about it yesterday, but when I painted the two colours on a bit of paper next to it each other she said she liked it, but today she's decided she doesn't like it. Its too pink !
I painted a bit on wall today for her to get used to but she was still saying she didn't like it when carer turned up this afternoon. She wants to go get some more of other paint but doesn't understand that we can't just pop out and get some more mixed up at moment. I suggested we either paint it and if still doesn't like it when we can go out again we'll re do it then, but she wasn't keen on that so I suggested we could try putting a coat on and if doesn't like it then we'll try mixing it with some left over beigey paint she has in shed to take a bit of pinkness out of it.
That'll be fun as last time we decorated that room she didn't like chimney breast colour then either and we kept mixing white in to lighten it. She would say liked it, let me paint the whole chimney breast, then when it dried decide too dark and we'd mix again. We mixed it 4 times so with first coat of original un mixed colour and 2 coats of final colour in total it had 6 coats :rolleyes:
Mums carer turned up today in uniform and mask, she had shoe covers to put on and an apron and gloves too for when preparing food etc. Mum thought she looked funny but didn't really get why carer has them on or needs to keep a distance so not sure how she'll go on this afternoon. Its good they are doing what they can to protect themselves and people they care for. I felt bad about having them coming to mums and wondered if they'd rather not come.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,700
South East
Oh it’s sounds like it could be fun then finishing the painting :oops: good luck with getting it finished soon . Re carers , as long as mum isn’t upset by the ppe I wouldn’t worry , they would soon tell you if they don’t want to or can’t continue so enjoy it while you can .
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,236
Hope you've had a good afternoon @annielou, and not too much ironing was involved. I hope when you get back to paining again your mum has changed her mind and likes the chimney breast colour. I'm banned from doing decorating by my husband because I am so bad at it!
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,062
Yorkshire
Thanks @Woo2 @Sarasa xx
Fingers crossed 🤞 on decorating front. Its always been quite stressful decorating with mum and she changes her mind a lot.
I wouldn't say I'm great at decorating but its me who has done most of it in our house for years.and I manage ok.
I did some more ironing this afternoon, made chicken and pasta for tea for first time in ages and now off to change the bed next, what an exciting life eh, but still nice to be at home in the afternoon/early evening.
Hope you've had good day x.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,173
Bedford
Sorry to hear that your Mum has changed her mind on the paint colour. We checked on line as we are running short of paint for ceiling and one of the big diy chains are doing white emulsion as click and collect if that might reduce the pinkieness although I guess only make it paler. Is Wilko or anywhere similar still open that sell a limited range but I guess the beige in the shed might help. Certainly don’t want you doing 6 coats again so hopefully your Mum has changed her mind especially if the Carer told her what a lovely colour it is - fingers crossed.
I agree with @Woo2. I don’t think the carers would come if they did not need/want to so make the most of it so you can continue with your ‘free’ afternoons.
I like a bit of chicken and pasta too
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,700
South East
Glad you got some jobs done, Chicken sounds nice ....... pasta .... yuk ! Hope you enjoyed it though 😋 . Keep my fingers crossed too that you don’t end up doing another 6 coats.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,062
Yorkshire
Well we had another painting day saga today.
It started well I painted the one remaining wall in the pale pinky colour mum got for 3 of the walls and then we were onto chimney breast. Mum still didn't like the colour she had bought for it, it was too pinky. So we went in to shed to look at what other colours we had to mix together, we found a few pinks and a beige and I started mixing.
We had a mini row when I said one of the pinks was her bedroom wall colour and mum said no it wasn't because her bedroom is red! She made me go into bedroom so she could point out the red. Its not red its a deep pink and a medium pink, the medium pink was colour I'd just told her about. So she wasn't happy with that, but I tried to make a joke about it and got back to mixing.
She was getting stressed while I was mixing colours saying its too beige, too pink, too dark, too light and we ended up with about 6 patches of different colours on wall. Then I mixed one mum thought she liked but wanted to see it when it dried so I went clean up my paint tray and brushes etc from other wall, mum came and watched me for a bit then she went to sit down in room.
When I went in room I saw mum was sat on the sofa with plastic sheet on that I'd covered so I could sit down without risk of any paint that might be on me getting on sofa so I asked mum if she'd mind swapping sofas so I could sit on sheet one. Well you'd think I'd asked for her last rolo or a limb or something, she set off shouting at me for moving her. Why didn't I sit there? cos I don't want to get paint on uncovered sofa, Why didn't you sit next to me? Because the cushion is on that seat, Why don't you move cushion? Cos it meant lifting cover and I just thought you wouldn't mind moving back to where you were sat before. On and on she went for about 1/4 an hour. Then we sat in silence for half an hour, before we started talking proper again.
I made a cup of tea for us and smiled a lot and asked if she liked any of the colour patches on the wall and guess which one she picked? 🤔🤔🤔
The patch of the original colour I'd painted on Wednesday that she said she didn't like o_O :rolleyes:
I didn't tell her that, I just painted a bit next to other colour from the 3 walls to check she was happy with them both together and she was, so I got on and painted front of chimney breast. Unfortunately as we'd wasted over an hour mixing, arguing and sulking it was 4 o'clock when I started on chimney breast and we have dinner at 6 so by the time I'd done 2 coats on the front and I didn't get chance to do the little wall at side of chimney breast before dinner so I'll do that bit in the morning.
Mum kept saying how much she liked both colours while we were having dinner which hubby and I had to smile at after all the fuss she'd made about not liking the chimney breast colour before. She still doesn't know its the original colour she bought for it. 😁
When we got in there were 2 missed calls from Mum so I rung her back and she asked where I'd been. She didn't know it was me who had been today and thought she hadn't seen me for ages and was going to get mad at me cos she was upset she'd not seen me. She had lost who I was a few times in last couple of hours I was there but seemed to know me when I left about 1/4 past 7. When she realised it was me who'd been going she was sorry she didn't know. I told her not to worry its just cos she'd tired. She kept saying she thought it was someone else who kept going and she was sorry she didn't remember it was me. And saying thank you for painting and that she loved me. I told her I loved her too and it didn't matter cos she knew me most of time and I wasn't bothered so I hope I reassured her it didn't matter enough for her to settle down tonight.🤞
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,700
South East
Oh dear 😩 I think you should avoid /distract any talk of decorating again if it comes up . Doesn’t help you much now but it doesn’t sound too much fun .hope remaining wall goes smoothly tomorrow 🤞. You are a😇. X
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,062
Yorkshire
We've all the gloss to do next week @Woo2 :eek: She used to do her own glossing as she says everybody else does it too thick and she can make a brush full go for miles. Which is true she can, but its so thin that you see whats underneath and she needs at least 3 coats. Last time we decorated her bedroom she only did a bit of glossing in the end and left the rest to me, then she told me and anyone else she talked to that she had done it all because I'm rubbish at it. She told carer yesterday I was doing painting but she would be doing the hard bit the glossing. There's loads to do as two doors in there, the skirting, a big radiator and a floor to ceiling cupboard that takes up one alcove side of the chimney breast. It could well be another interesting week
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,700
South East
Gulp :rolleyes: Well I only hope that it goes smoothly , at least she can’t say she doesn’t like the colour ... just that she doesn’t like the amount you use😟. I’m sure the carer is wise to the situation and realises just who is doing it all. Good luck with it . X
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,173
Bedford
O my - there was me thinking phew you had finished the painting and your Mum was happy finally with the colours........then you mentioned the glossing and not just skirtings and door frames but cupboards too. I guess the only good thing is there is not a choice of colour.
enjoy your paint free weekend and hope that you have a good weekend at your house and I hope your Mum has settled/settles there
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,062
Yorkshire
Thanks @Bikerbeth @Woo2 @Sarasa xx Decided not to do last bit of painting at side of mums chimney breast yesterday and wait till Monday and do it at same time as starting glossing, mums snuffle was back again yesterday morning and she was a bit mixed up over going to supermarket and our house so I decided it was easier to leave it. We just brought mum over to ours and sat and watched tv with a little bit of chatting. Mum was ok no major upsets but as usual mid afternoon she didn't know where she lived and so kept asking us if we did and saying her address to see if it was right one and where she lived now, but she was quite calm about it.
When we took her home she recognised house but by time hubby and I got home she'd rung 3 times. When I rang her back she had forgot who she had been with again, this happens all the time now. So we had a ten minute call about yes it was us who she'd been with, she'd been to our house, I was the one who painted, we'd brought her shopping, yes she'd paid for it with mum saying lots of Oh I am glad it was you Andie, I din't know it was you, I love you. It so upsetting to hear her asking who she's been with and saying she's glad its me cos she thought not seen me.
After we hung up the phone I sat on bed and had a bit of an ugly cry for a while feeling so sorry for mum and guilty as I'd been feeling fed up. I'd woke up feeling low and dreading the day ahead yesterday, I don't like weekends as I feel really guilty for hubby having to spend all day with mum and they're not fun anymore.
We've spent most of daytime at weekend with mum for years but in the past we'd get up late and have a lazy breakfast before going for mum late morning, then we might go out somewhere and it was much easier as mum was with it and we could chat and do things, she knew who we were and where we were and when she went home on an evening hubby and I could relax, we'd sometimes go out to pictures or local theatre, play games or stay up late watching box sets. Now we get up at 8, often have jobs to do like cleaning bathroom and a full dust hoover through or washing to sort, we go to mums earlier now for around 11 and pick her up and come here, we can't do much or talk about much, we're on alert for her getting mixed up and bored, she forgets who we are, where we are, where she lives and when we take her home we're exhausted, feeling sad and worried about her, and on alert for her calling upset and confused, so we daren't go out and I can't concentrate on anything so we don't even watch anything interesting and we have to go to bed earlier as up earlier too. I know thats whiney and moany but its how I feel and how I started the day yesterday.
I'm not blaming mum, its not her fault she has Alzheimers, she certainly wouldn't want us to feel this way and it is absolutely horrible for her, her life as she knew it has gone just like ours has. I can't imagine what it must be like not to know where you live, who you're with, what you did five minutes or five days ago. She is mixed up, confused and doesn't know why and must be scared witless and I feel so so sorry for her and so guilty that I can't do anything to stop it, but I also feel sorry for hubby and me too and then when she rings up confused not knowing thats she's seen me I feel helpless to help her and guilty for being fed up.
 

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