I have been reading talking point for a few months now and it is so helpful & reassuring to know I'm not alone.
Mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's last summer, I knew things weren't right and after she had a successful knee replacement she wasn't coping even though I had moved in with her before.
I've been living with and looking after her for 14 months now. I moved out of my home near by. It's quite a journey being a carer. It was my profession for over 30 years, I had a good career but looking after mum is another thing altogether.
I retired from nursing & midwifery with the idea of doing other things with my life, joining society's etc. After 4 years of doing this I let that go and devoted my time to mum. I have siblings that live away & or work so I'm the main carer. They support all that I do and come home to give me help when they can.
I describe my life with mum & her Alzheimer's as a journey . As all of us know, it encompasses and takes over everything. I'm not sure of the route always and the destination is uncertain. I describe my experience as the gradual dismantling of mums life, bit by bit. She has her sense of humour, loves listening to waltzes, enjoys her food & likes being social but it's not the same mum.
When mum was first diagnosed it hit me hard. We had discussed in the past that she never wanted to be a burden in her old age & if it was ever necessary then get Carers in. We can't have that conversation any more, she doesn't know where she is living, no real context of time & dependent on me for all her care & needs.
I have tried to anticipate what her needs have been & will be and we are at the stage now of trying day care & also respite care for a couple of nights to see how she gets on. I've worked through my grief, sadness, guilt & the sheer rollercoaster of emotions for all of last year. What keeps me going is the thought that it's pay back time for all the years she gave in caring for others in her life. I want to be there for her. I also know that nothing lasts forever and one day she will be gone. I have my moments when I wonder how much longer I can do this especially as mum deteriorates & get the right balance between hanging on and letting go. We have found a care home that she can start having respite care with the idea of moving her there full time. I don't know when at this stage, and will seek help from talking point on this one as this is the hardest part for me. I wish there wasn't a need to move her at all but it's inevitable.
Mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's last summer, I knew things weren't right and after she had a successful knee replacement she wasn't coping even though I had moved in with her before.
I've been living with and looking after her for 14 months now. I moved out of my home near by. It's quite a journey being a carer. It was my profession for over 30 years, I had a good career but looking after mum is another thing altogether.
I retired from nursing & midwifery with the idea of doing other things with my life, joining society's etc. After 4 years of doing this I let that go and devoted my time to mum. I have siblings that live away & or work so I'm the main carer. They support all that I do and come home to give me help when they can.
I describe my life with mum & her Alzheimer's as a journey . As all of us know, it encompasses and takes over everything. I'm not sure of the route always and the destination is uncertain. I describe my experience as the gradual dismantling of mums life, bit by bit. She has her sense of humour, loves listening to waltzes, enjoys her food & likes being social but it's not the same mum.
When mum was first diagnosed it hit me hard. We had discussed in the past that she never wanted to be a burden in her old age & if it was ever necessary then get Carers in. We can't have that conversation any more, she doesn't know where she is living, no real context of time & dependent on me for all her care & needs.
I have tried to anticipate what her needs have been & will be and we are at the stage now of trying day care & also respite care for a couple of nights to see how she gets on. I've worked through my grief, sadness, guilt & the sheer rollercoaster of emotions for all of last year. What keeps me going is the thought that it's pay back time for all the years she gave in caring for others in her life. I want to be there for her. I also know that nothing lasts forever and one day she will be gone. I have my moments when I wonder how much longer I can do this especially as mum deteriorates & get the right balance between hanging on and letting go. We have found a care home that she can start having respite care with the idea of moving her there full time. I don't know when at this stage, and will seek help from talking point on this one as this is the hardest part for me. I wish there wasn't a need to move her at all but it's inevitable.