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Jinxie4567

Registered User
Feb 11, 2018
15
She was always a bit of a worrier but displayed nothing like the levels of agitation/anxiety she has now. In Mum's case she had a fall and whilst in hospital she was immediately put on anti-epilepsy medication which caused anxiety/agitation as a side-effect. She doesn't have epilepsy and it's clear from the hospital notes that she shouldn't have been given the medication but as the hospital didn't tell me she was on the medication it took weeks before it was stopped! Mum became a little calmer after the epilepsy medication was eventually stopped but the anxiety/agitation was still really bad. Since her discharge the CPN have been doing everything they can to reduce the anxiety/agitation by using anti-psychotics and currently anti-depressants.

If your Mum didn't always have an anxious nature it could be down to her condition but can also be a side effect of medication. I tried my best to reduce Mum's anxiety - I took time off work and looked after her 24/7 when she was discharged - but nothing I did worked. She needs expert help now and as much I would have preferred her to stay in her own home it wasn't possible. Mum calls me 'Mum' and although I am no longer doing the 'hands on' caring I'm still caring for her by visiting and attending doctors appointments when I can, and dealing with the financial side of things etc. It's common for carers to think that they haven't done enough but you did a lot for your Mum so shouldn't feel guilty that you could have done something more. She's in good hands now and hopefully the CPN will find something to help.
 

Jinxie4567

Registered User
Feb 11, 2018
15
Yes you're right we can only hope this agitation and anxiety gets reduced with medication no matter what the cause..." My mum has always been a worrier" I know I couldn't look after her at home as no matter how much I try to reassure her she still comes back to the same anxious state! I brought her home for Christmas and in a way it was a good thing as it made up my mind she needed 24/7 care. It's difficult because she looks the same but everything else is gone...
 

#lovemymother

New member
Feb 11, 2018
5
Hello, I have just signed up today. My 78 year old mother was diagnosed with Alzheimers last week. I noticed she was getting confused and forgetful around 3 years ago and when we lost a little girl in our family 2 years ago I knew by watching my mum it wasn't just signs of getting old. It took months to get her to the doctor's, and missed a few appointments because she refused to go. Anyway i wrote 4 A4 pages of what had been happening and delivered to the doctor before our appointment. He was fantastic with mum and we were soon referred to the memory clinic.only mums health dived as she's a diabetic and had an infection so within 2 weeks she was seen by the mental health team and had a nurse. Quickly followed by a ct scan and 2 weeks later we got the results. To be honest it was a relief getting the results because I knew deep down. It's a upsetting time for mum as she dips in and out and forgets an awful lot but remembers a lot too. She thinks she can walk it off so we've had many times she's roamed around not in a fit state of mind, crying, no coat etc. Last time we rang the police at 5am. They were fantastic she is now registered on their data base. I know we have been extremely lucky so far in the help we've received. But it hurts like hell to see her like this, not only am I looking after mum I have a sister with mental health issues a brother who doesn't help he just wants waiting on. And here I am the youngest and feeling like I have the world on my shoulders :(
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,238
Yorkshire
hello @#lovemymother
a warm welcome to TP
your mum is a fortunate woman to have you looking out for her
sadly family members aren't always as helpful as maybe they could be, and it often falls to one person to take on the carer role
you have a lot on your plate, so it's good that you are getting some support
and I'm glad you've found TP as it's a community of folk who are generous in sharing their experience and offering sympathy and helpful suggestions
so settle down with a cuppa, have a read around and start your own thread whenever you are ready
 

steveb2018

New member
Feb 11, 2018
2
Good Evening All,
My name is Steve. The reason I joined talking point, is that my Mom has been diagnosed with Dementia. This is an on going condition approximately 2 years old plus. This is my second round with this disease my dad was the first round.
She is finally getting correct care. I went to visit her yesterday and it really scared the heck out of me. her rambling and disheveled look etc. It was a severe look at her mortality.
She has also been Diagnosed with a UTI, she has other things but I wont waste time going into all the dirty details.
Needless to say I am in need of someone to talk to about all of this . Well that's all I have
Thanks for reading.
Steve.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,238
Yorkshire
hello @steveb2018
and welcome to TP
I am so sorry to read of your mum's situation and of your dad also - so hard for you to be trying to cope so it's good that your mum is getting care
TP is a safe and sympathetic community to come to to share your experiences, so post with anything that is on your mind - it helps to get stuff off your chest amongst folk who understand
start a thread of your own and you'll find members will respond
 

steveb2018

New member
Feb 11, 2018
2
hello @steveb2018
and welcome to TP
I am so sorry to read of your mum's situation and of your dad also - so hard for you to be trying to cope so it's good that your mum is getting care
TP is a safe and sympathetic community to come to to share your experiences, so post with anything that is on your mind - it helps to get stuff off your chest amongst folk who understand
start a thread of your own and you'll find members will respond
Hello Shedrech,

Thanks so much for the kind words. I will look around a little more then maybe later put words to screen with a thread of my own thanks again
 

Hardtimes18

New member
Feb 11, 2018
2
Good Evening All,
My name is Steve. The reason I joined talking point, is that my Mom has been diagnosed with Dementia. This is an on going condition approximately 2 years old plus. This is my second round with this disease my dad was the first round.
She is finally getting correct care. I went to visit her yesterday and it really scared the heck out of me. her rambling and disheveled look etc. It was a severe look at her mortality.
She has also been Diagnosed with a UTI, she has other things but I wont waste time going into all the dirty details.
Needless to say I am in need of someone to talk to about all of this . Well that's all I have
Thanks for reading.
Steve.
 

Hardtimes18

New member
Feb 11, 2018
2
Hi Steve so sorry you have to go through all this twice seems really cruel. My mum has very recently been diagnosed, two weeks, and the decline since is really shocking. We don't think the medication is helping at all as she is agitated every day and don't know how to comfort her. I guess we're still looking for a magic pill that will stop all her odd and embarrassing behaviours. Still waiting on the post diagnostic team to get in touch. Can't believe this is early stages. Hope u can find some peace and comfort in the fact she is getting proper care.
Take care
 

#lovemymother

New member
Feb 11, 2018
5
hello @#lovemymother
a warm welcome to TP
your mum is a fortunate woman to have you looking out for her
sadly family members aren't always as helpful as maybe they could be, and it often falls to one person to take on the carer role
you have a lot on your plate, so it's good that you are getting some support
and I'm glad you've found TP as it's a community of folk who are generous in sharing their experience and offering sympathy and helpful suggestions
so settle down with a cuppa, have a read around and start your own thread whenever you are ready
Thank you shedrech, I'm still finding my way around on here and I already know I'll be on here lots. Mums nurse has certainly pointed me in the right direction for support.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,238
Yorkshire
hello @Hardtimes18
and welcome to TP
unfortunately not all meds suit or help all people, so it can be a case of trial an error to get the right meds, right combination, right dose and even right time of day to take the meds for best effect/fewer side effects
do contact your mum's GP and consultant to let them know how the meds are, or aren't going - some do take some time to 'bed in'
and jot down any concerns, observations and questions so you have a note of them for when you speak with the post diagnostic team (contact them if you think it's been too long)
keep posting - maybe start your own thread ....
 

Boxie.

New member
Feb 11, 2018
2
Hi I am new to the group, we live in the south west & my partner was diagnosed with alzheimer's over a year ago, I first noticed little things around 2012 & things seem to have deteriorated quicker than I thought!
Just a quick question how best to cope with the nightly distress/anxiety which she has no knowledge of.
Many thanks.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,238
Yorkshire
hello @Boxie.
and welcome to TP
sorry to read that life is challenging for you both
have you chatted with your wife's GP and consultant (if there is one) and let them know about the nighttime anxiety, which may well be 'sundowning' - there may be meds to help her settle (and I do mean that NOT to just knock her out - my dad had terrible anxiety of an evening and meds helped him be more content in himself)
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/info/20064/symptoms/87/behaviour_changes/8
now you've found the site, do start your won thread and chat away with others about anything that's on your mind
 

Mrs MCS

New member
Feb 12, 2018
1
Hi, I have just registered and hope to be able to contribute to the discussions though firstly I have some questions. My husband, 64, is going through the process of being diagnosed. We’ve been to the memory clinic where they gave me a very clear message that we are looking at semantic dementia. Husband can’t accept this yet. He had MRI last week and we have a follow up appointment mid April which seems a long time but that’s ok. My question is about how I can support him to be independent for as long as possible or at least feel that he’s independent. He has ‘lost’ most of his language for food which is a tad challenging to say the least. Are there any adult friendly flash cards around that could help him recognise everyday food and meals? I’ve already found this website a massive help and hope to continue finding information and support here. Thank you
 

Tralouise

Registered User
Nov 27, 2017
25
Where to start!! I'm new to this and feeling pretty desperate to be honest.

My name is Tracy. 2 years ago I noticed some changes in Mums personality, aggression,,rude, confrontational, and said to my sister I'm sure mums getting dementia but everyone laughed it off. Last May mum was independent and full off life still travelling abroad on her own etc? Living alone and enjoying life. Then her brother died unexpectedly and Mum instantly started with horrific depression and anxiety. Her personality has changed beyond all recognition and she is now very child like. She's lost 3 stones and has been in a psychiatric unit 6 months. She's not safe to be left alone as she has no sense of danger, walks into the road, spills hot tea on herself. Wanders round the house when we take her home on visits, just wandering from room to room. Mum was loud and bolshy she's now as quiet as a mousse and never speaks. She has obsessions and goes on about them all day long, can't eat, can't wee, has no pulse. She's lost all empathy and regard for anyone else. We demanded a brain scan and the psyciatrist said it showed some vascular changes, some brain shrinkage, and all the changes were in the frontal lobe. When we suspected dementia before the scan we thought front lobal dementia as all her traits seemed to fit with that. The psyciatrist said he never diagnoses on a scan alone and wanted to observe mum further. Mum has declined and now has psychotic episodes / all the psyciatrist keeps saying is at the moment he wants to control her symptoms and a diagnosis is not important!!!!! Every week we tell him we need to know what's wrong with mum, he just says it's a possibility it's dementia going off the scan but he won't diagnose her yet. My mum has gone, it's her body but not my Mum. I'm a single parent with 2 children and mum has always been my rock and my best friend. We used to be on the phone around ten times a day. She's not rang us in 6 months. Before mum went into hospital we had her living with us. The mornings were dreadful she was so disorientated mornings, refused tablets, refused food, accused us of poisioning her to the point she was paralysed yet walking around!! As a family we're sure it's dementia but why are they taking so long to disgnose? We took her for denture fitting on Saturday and when I suggested she needs to try and chew something to see if she could eat with them in she nearly bit the dentists finger off! It was hilarious to be honest. She spits in the street and each week has some new obsession, we've had them all, she's dying off a serotonin overdose, she has kidney failure, the patients are set ups to spy on her, there are cameras in her room, social services are coming to tske my children away because I wasn't in time with her washing, the psyciatrist is not a real doctor. The list goes on and on. Mum was an old school nurse and midwife who just got on with it if she was ill, so all this behaviour is bizzare!! I've managed to get power off attourney but that left her agitated for days rambling on the hospital were taking her house!!! We're so worried, confused, scared, how can we make plans without a diagnosis? A nurse on the ward said the psyciatrist concerned is known for taking his time to disgnose! This has to be the most painful thing I have ever gone through in my life but the not knowing just adds to it!!!!! Any advice ????
 

Lindiloo20

New member
Feb 12, 2018
3
Hi I'm Lynn from Belfast

My mum moved to a dementia unit 4 months ago. She has had dementia officially for 2 years but plus 5 from previous diagnosed cognitive impairment. I have 2 young children ages 5 and 2 and on top of managing coming to terms with the illness and my own change of relationship with my mum, I'm absolutely devastated that my children won't get to know her amazing-ness. It's a real struggle and stress when I take them to see her and im struggling to find a balance to keep her with me and make sure my girls know their granny. Also would love to be able to protect my young kids from seeing others in the unit but I can't seem to manage to bring my mum out how I used to .
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,238
Yorkshire
hello @Lindiloo20
and a warm welcome to TP
I'm sorry to read all your sadness; you are being torn in two between your love for your mum and your love for your children
maybe visit your mum on your own and then treat yourself to a lovely nostalgia burst with your children, looking at photos and singing songs your mum taught you, so they know 'grandma's songs' - maybe make cakes with them to take to grandma - tell them stories of things they and you have done with her and about her life, maybe they could paint some for her - so they feel she is with them and you get to celebrate her
whatever else - keep posting; it helps to share
 
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