Thank you! I'm just getting the hang of navigating my way around the site.Welcome to TP, @Monkstone.
It's good that you have supportive siblings, that's part of the battle. My OH loves music too, anything from classical to country to jazz. I know what you mean when you say she's not the same person, but these are the little things like a sense of humour which get us through the hard times and the uncertain future.
I hope you will post a thread when you need more specific advice or just to let off steam, just wanted to welcome you say there's a few can relate to a lot of what you're dealing with.
I have just posted my first note. Reading your story shows what a spectrum this disease has. I'm so sorry for what has happened to you & your husband. It puts a different perspective on my situation with mum. You are having a hard time of it & I wish you well. Glad you have a dog for some company.Hi, my name is Susan, and my husband has mixed dementia. He has just turned 60 & has had this awful disease for 6yrs. He is now in a care home & has very little verbal skills, he doesn’t recognise me & now seems to be sleeping quite a lot. We have been married for nearly 37yrs and I miss him so much. I now find that I’m so lonely & my day revolves around visiting my hubby & walking my dog, not that I mind doing either.
Dad goes to the Hub in Mitcham, a dementia clinic. They are all helpful when you are there but when I have asked how to get help at home for mum they say 'we don't so that'. I have gotten various people to go to see mum without me there so they can see she cant cope with him but they don't do anything but write notes and say they will be in touch, but a year later no one still helps.Hi Nat,
That sounds like a lot going on for you! It's difficult to advise without knowing your location and what help might therefore be available for you. Perhaps the best thing I could suggest is to ring the National Dementia Helpline on 0300 222 11 22. You can speak to someone confidentially and they can signpost you to sources of support that might be available. Because your dad has a diagnosis that will make certain things easier- bear in mind that anyone classed as a carer may also be entitled to support and help. You would need a carers assessment for this, but that's something else you could explore with a dementia Navigator if there's one in your area.
Best of luck!
So sorry to read this. I saw a film a few years ago called the Notebook in which this exact situation was played out. It's absolutely heart breaking to watch and I really feel for you going through it in real life. In the movie the husband read his wife stories of things they used to do together which brought her so much joy. She fleeted in and out of recognizing him and he was devastated, but the reading brought her round. So sorry again and hope you find strength in these pages and meet others in similar situation. I recount endless stories of my childhood to my mum, and she loves it. It's really hardHello everyone. i have just signed up today as I have slowly come to realise that I need support caring for my wife .She is 69 and has been living with Alzheimers for nearly 5 years .We have been married for 48 years and met at school!!The thing that as made me turn to Talking Points is that just this week she has is telling me that her husband has gone away. She talks to me as if I am a new person come into her life and home and asks me all about myself and telling me of the things she likes doing with her husband .She wonders where he has gone but is glad i'm with her to care and support her.She may slip back into realising I am her husband but then goes back to wondering where I've gone again.I feel such a sense of loss.
Such a pressure at times .Bless you its so hard, we are about 4 years down the road from you, my mum has accepted her diagnosis and in general is happy, physically she is well, shes 89, she does take most things out on me, but im the one she sees most,her GP referred me to the admiral nurses they are for ME and my siblings, they have been once and are lovely, can u get them in your area? my mum grumbles a lot, I cook/chill for her, im a good cook, she has said so all my life ( im 64 ) but she constantly moans meals are too wet, too dry , to small, too big, etc etc, life is really hard, I do have a lot of help from other family members, at present mums in a housing association flat, I think she needs residential , but only 2 family members agree with me, so im afraid we are just WAITING for something awful to happen, shes wondered 3 times, we have had to isolate the cooker as she was very dangerous, and she is now really struggling with microwave, kettle and toaster ( broken two ) its getting too much for me as im unwell but what choice do I have, best of luck Mipsydoo
Hello and welcome to TP. You will find this a friendly, informative and supportive place.Hello, I am in my early sixties and my husband was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers in 2016. I am finding it really hard at the moment trying to deal with his constant mood swings and aggression. He gets really frustrated about something and turns into Mister Nasty. As well as saying really horrible things to me, he has slapped and kicked me and I am worried that at some point it may turn into a punch. I know he doesn't really mean it but it is very upsetting.
I am sure that I am not the only one that is having this problem and a little advise will help. It is good to know that I am not alone thanks to your forum.
Hello and welcome to TP. You will find this a friendly, informative and supportive place. I see you have already been looking around the site, as I did when I first joined. Do keep posting as we are all here for you if you need advice or just a place to let off steamGood afternoon and thanks for having me. I'm here as I have recently moved in with mum so she can stay at home. Two years down the line of memory/behavior issues we finally have a date for a memory clinic appointment, however I'd say she has moderate Altzheimers type dementia from her symptoms. Mum also is unable to walk due to a longstanding disability and is completely deaf. Things are OK at the moment, especially if I discount (some of) the professionals. Thank you to everyone who posts, adding to the information available on dementia and giving newbies like me, much needed insight. Sending hugs, coffee, chocolate, cake, gin........................
Thank you for the warm welcome, and the instructions on how to post...that had me foxed for a bit.@Annie Ka I am so glad that you have found the forum...but very sorry that your dad is ill, and you needed to. You will find lots of people here, in exactly your position, who will be able to empathise, advise and support you. It is so scary when a diagnosis is first given, but there are not usually dramatic changes in a PWD (person with dementia). He is still your dad, still the same this week as he was last, despite the diagnosis. The more you learn, the more you can support your dad, and this is a good place to start. The Altzheimer’s Society have a wide range of fact sheets that are really readable, or if you have specific questions you can ask them on the forum. You might want to start your own thread, and then any advise or questions answered will all be in one place. Just click twice on the blue ‘Forums’ and select ‘I care for a person with dementia’ and then click on ‘start a new thread’.