hello @Bowbelle78
and welcome to TP
it's so tough to know that things are difficult for your parents and yet not be able or allowed to help
your dad does have a point that you have your own family to care for and your own life to lead - though if he wants you not to worry, it would help if he grabbed any support available - I guess he feels overwhelmed
I believe there is space on the AA application forms for someone other than your mum to explain why they are sending in the application rather than your mum - do have a look and either get your dad to fill this in or do it yourself and send off the forms - as your mum has a diagnosis, I think this will be accepted - maybe say to your dad that it's daft not sending the forms as the benefit isn't means tested and they have both paid their way all their lives so your mum is entitled to receive the AA if her needs mean she qualifies
maybe do the same with Powers of Attorney - these are available online so you could fill them in, organise a visit by a family friend to act as certificate provider and sit them both down over a cuppa and cake
just to say also that the fees for any care for your mum should be paid only from her finances - there should have been a financial assessment after the care needs assessment by her Local Authority Adult Services on her savings/income alone (the marital house is disregarded; your dad doesn't have to worry about that) - and if her assets are below £23250 the LA will at least partly fund her care
as for the alcohol - this is not an unfamiliar problem - might it be swapped for non-alcoholic/low alcohol alternatives (who does the shopping? - maybe just don't buy any but have eg grape juice instead) which could even be decanted into existing bottles to look like her usual tipple
do keep posting - maybe start your own thread here
https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forums/i-care-for-a-person-with-dementia.70/
and welcome to TP
it's so tough to know that things are difficult for your parents and yet not be able or allowed to help
your dad does have a point that you have your own family to care for and your own life to lead - though if he wants you not to worry, it would help if he grabbed any support available - I guess he feels overwhelmed
I believe there is space on the AA application forms for someone other than your mum to explain why they are sending in the application rather than your mum - do have a look and either get your dad to fill this in or do it yourself and send off the forms - as your mum has a diagnosis, I think this will be accepted - maybe say to your dad that it's daft not sending the forms as the benefit isn't means tested and they have both paid their way all their lives so your mum is entitled to receive the AA if her needs mean she qualifies
maybe do the same with Powers of Attorney - these are available online so you could fill them in, organise a visit by a family friend to act as certificate provider and sit them both down over a cuppa and cake
just to say also that the fees for any care for your mum should be paid only from her finances - there should have been a financial assessment after the care needs assessment by her Local Authority Adult Services on her savings/income alone (the marital house is disregarded; your dad doesn't have to worry about that) - and if her assets are below £23250 the LA will at least partly fund her care
as for the alcohol - this is not an unfamiliar problem - might it be swapped for non-alcoholic/low alcohol alternatives (who does the shopping? - maybe just don't buy any but have eg grape juice instead) which could even be decanted into existing bottles to look like her usual tipple
do keep posting - maybe start your own thread here
https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forums/i-care-for-a-person-with-dementia.70/