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Welcome to Talking Point - introduce yourself here

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Mark_W

Volunteer Moderator
Sep 28, 2015
4,036
London
Welcome to Talking Point :)

This thread is for all our new members to say hello and tell us a little bit about yourself. For example, about your connection to dementia and your reasons for joining.

Just click on the blue "Reply to Thread" button above this post, type your message and click the blue "Post Reply" button to make your first post.

If you've got questions about how to use Talking Point click on these links below.
  • You can find answers to frequently asked questions here.
  • Our Help videos will show you how to navigate the different areas of Talking Point.
  • We also have a Quick Guide explaining how to use Talking Point including logging in, posting, replying, checking private messages and searching.
  • Also we recommend having a read through our Guidelines which are some useful tips and things to remember when posting.
If you just want to know how to post your own thread though read on.

Posting on a small screen
(Click on the images to enlarge them)

Firstly click this link to see a list of our forums: https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk

Then scroll down and chose the most appropriate forum by clicking on it's name.

Forum List Mobile.PNG

When you're in a forum, click on the blue "Post New Thread" button.

Forums Mobile.PNG

Then, type a title, add your message and click 'Create Thread'.

Post New Thread Mobile.png


Posting on a big screen
(Click on the images to enlarge them)

Firstly click this link to see a list of our forums: https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk

Then scroll down and chose the most appropriate forum by clicking on it's name.

Forum List.png

When you're in a forum, click on the blue "Post New Thread" button.

Forums.png

Then, type a title, add your message and click 'Create Thread'.

Post New Thread.png

If you have any questions about using the forum, please don't hesitate to contact the Talking Point team as we're here to help.

We hope you find Talking Point helpful.
 
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Samwxx

New member
Dec 21, 2017
1
Hi there, my mum has Alzheimer's was diagnosed a few years back and it is slowly getting worse she is only 62 it seems like she is in denial about it all refused the mri scan and has been discharged from the memory clinic she is now forgetting to change her clothes and wash her hair but if you try to say anything she gets very defensive do you have any advise?
 

silkiest

Registered User
Feb 9, 2017
113
Hi Sam ,
did you go with your mum to the memory services before her discharge? My mother-in-law told us she was discharged several years ago but in actual fact when we returned last year she had discharged herself ! if you have power of attorney for Health and Welfare you can check with the memory clinic. If you don't have it I suggest you organise it as soon as possible before your mum lacks capacity as it cannot be done afterwards. if your mum has friends who are happy to confirm she has capacity then you can print off and fill-in the online forms on .gov.uk and it is much cheaper than using a solicitor.
If you have power of attorney for health then her GP will be able to talk openly with you without confidentiality concerns and they may be able to suggest other local help.
Remember not to stress yourself too much. Daily bathing is not necessary for good health, every few days or even weekly should be adequate for good skin health unless she is incontinent. Good luck
 

Cat27

Volunteer Moderator
Feb 27, 2015
10,888
Merseyside
Hi there, my mum has Alzheimer's was diagnosed a few years back and it is slowly getting worse she is only 62 it seems like she is in denial about it all refused the mri scan and has been discharged from the memory clinic she is now forgetting to change her clothes and wash her hair but if you try to say anything she gets very defensive do you have any advise?
Welcome to TP @Samwxx

You may find this thread helpful https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/
 

Naman

Registered User
Feb 21, 2015
6
I am new to this forum. I am an 85 year old lady caring for my husband who was diagnosed with Alzheimer disease 5 years ago. His memory has deteriorated gradually over this period. Recently, on two occasions, he has been admitted to hospital with chest infections and he appears to have deteriorated rapidly since these admissions. He has another chest infection at present and for the past few days he has been very restless and having hallucinations. He also has COPD, HEART PROBLEMS AND IS DIABETIC. I am very tired as we have had very little sleep for the past two nights as he cannot seem to settle and does not seem to get tired. He was on 20mg of Memantine which was reduced to 10 mg two weeks ago as he has developed a kidney problem. Does anyone know if this could contribute to his deterioration? I would be grateful for any advice. I have no other help and look after him on my own. I telephoned the Memory Clinic this morning for advice but it was an answer phone. Eileen
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
8,768
Yorkshire
hello @Naman
a warm welcome to posting on TP
gosh, how on earth are you coping at all without help - no wonder you are finding it hard with being kept up 2 nights
an infection of any kind really does play havoc with the system of someone with dementia, and your husband has those medical conditions too, so the recent hospital stays will have no doubt knocked him for six
the alteration in his meds may be playing a part too - the combination of all of this won't be helping
I don't really understand why your husband was discharged without a care package being put in place - it may well be worth contacting the emergency Adult Services number of your Local Authority and letting them know that you are finding looking after your husband extremely difficult - now isn't the time to be stoic; I'm afraid that if you don't shout for help, then Social Services will just not get involved - tell them that you just will not be able to cope if you can't sleep and you need help now - mention carer breakdown
your husband should also have a care needs assessment to see if home care visits, day care and some respite might help the both of you - you are entitled to a carer's assessment too
maybe
please call the AS Helpline tomorrow, it's open between 10am and 1pm - the operators are very knowledgeable and friendly and may have contacts to get you some help
0300 222 11 22
also, don't be afraid to call 111 or 999 if you are concerned about him, hospital isn't a great place to be, but he will be looked after there and you need to be able to sleep or you won't be able to care for him as you want to
sorry not to be of major help ...
do keep posting and ask anything that's on your mind as TP members are sympathetic and supportive
 

4of7

New member
Dec 20, 2017
2
Hello everyone, I am a new member. Currently helping my mother-in-law who was diagnosed with Alzheimers approx 3 years ago but has recently started to decline more rapidly and at the moment is struggling to recognize her own home. It started happening in the night with her packing her bags and last week it started happening in the evening. She lives on a busy road so my father in law is very worried that she keeps wanting to leave the house. We have good family support and social care/GP involvement but it is hard to know how best to help her.
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
6,563
Bristol
Hullo @4of7, welcome to TP.
It's good that you have support from family and social care, that's half the battle. On the question of your Mother in Law wandering, have you tried a warning system. We had one in our last house where you could record a message to tell her to turn back as she goes by.
 

Alexxandra11

New member
Dec 24, 2017
4
Hello I am new to all this and finding it all very confusing, so I'm hoping for some guidance and advise from people who have walked this weary path before me ... Thank you
My dad has possible mixed dementia but hospital will not dignose him until he's out in the community and are insisting on a nursing home
So back to the beginning June 17 my dad had a fall and banged his head he was hospitalised for 3 days and then discharged home
Over the next few months I noticed my dad getting forgetful and slightly confused and started to lose weight , I noticed he wasn't eating propley so that I thought why the weight loss he has gone from a 42in waist to 34ins in 6monthsv he is also diebetic and wasn't taking his insulin so fast forward to Dec17 I took him to the Drs who sent him to hospital ...
Hospital have said possible mixed dementia and needs to go into a nursing home to be accessed,
mental health have said he's not allowed home as he is a danger to himself and Ito the carers and would have trouble getting carers to enter his home he is not agrisive he though people were breaking into his home ,
whist he was in hospital they accessed him for full funding he got 2 severs and 2 highs but was turned down by the ccg as his needs are social care not primary Heath should I appeal ? he was awarded nhs nursing care
my Qustion is if they want to access him in a nursing care home as his needs are to great for a care home he's not been diagnosed why has he got to pay for this he's boarder line with his saving after a monthly paying they will fall below the limit
Sorry for the long post and sorry if it's confusing I'm still trying to make sence of it all
So as it stands at the moment is he is in nucing home for 12weeks to be accessed and to see wether he will have to stay or allowed home with care
thank you for taking the time to read it
 

Cat27

Volunteer Moderator
Feb 27, 2015
10,888
Merseyside
Welcome to TP @Alexxandra11
I’d definitely appeal CHC funding. Also the local authority will do a financial assessment & calculate what help your dad will be entitled to.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
8,768
Yorkshire
hello @Alexxandra11
a warm welcome from me too
I hope it helped last night to come here and get all that off your chest
there's plenty of support for you here, so post with anything that's on your mind - members will help you make some sense of it all
at least, at the moment, your dad is being taken care of and monitored so you know he is safe for these 12 weeks - and that will give you time to work out the financial situation
sadly, it's pretty difficult to get CHC funding, but worth an appeal - and then if it's not awarded, as you say, there will be a financial assessment and the LA will begin to part fund if your dad's assets fall below £23250 (this includes the value of his property if he owns one and lives alone; if his spouse lives in the marital home, the value is disregarded)
best wishes
 

Alexxandra11

New member
Dec 24, 2017
4
hello @Alexxandra11
a warm welcome from me too
I hope it helped last night to come here and get all that off your chest
there's plenty of support for you here, so post with anything that's on your mind - members will help you make some sense of it all
at least, at the moment, your dad is being taken care of and monitored so you know he is safe for these 12 weeks - and that will give you time to work out the financial situation
sadly, it's pretty difficult to get CHC funding, but worth an appeal - and then if it's not awarded, as you say, there will be a financial assessment and the LA will begin to part fund if your dad's assets fall below £23250 (this includes the value of his property if he owns one and lives alone; if his spouse lives in the marital home, the value is disregarded)
best wishes
Thank you :)
 

Burden of joy

New member
Dec 25, 2017
4
Hi everyone. I care for my 65 year old mum who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s officially 2 years ago but we had a 2 year fight to get a diagnosis as they kept insisting she was too young! My dad also has Parkinson’s and is significantly older with mobility issues. I live with them and work full time. We have just got to the poop is everything stage and I must admit 4 days of nothing but poop and baby wipes and sheet washing especially today at Christmas has left me sad and frazzled. But I am also really glad to have found this site. So much love and a place to go where people really understand the hour to hour struggle gives me hope xox
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
8,768
Yorkshire
hello @Burden of joy
and welcome to TP
you sound to have had a busy Christmas, sorry it hasn't been more festive for your family
I'm glad you have found this site - you're right, in this topsy-turvy dementia world, TP does provide hope, in that there are others in the same boat to chat with, and that means we can pool our resources to support each other
now you have joined us, settle in and post with whatever, whenever
 

jenny 5

New member
Dec 26, 2017
2
Hi my mum has dementia and in a speciaist care home im not coping at the moment scared she is at the end
 

Amethyst59

Registered User
Jul 3, 2017
5,749
Kent
Hello, @jenny 5 Welcome to Talking Point, though I am sorry that you have such a sad reason to join us. You will find that there are other people on the site in exactly your position, so that when someone says, I know what you are going through...they really do. When you feel up to it, have a read through some posts...and maybe you will want to start your own thread. You will find the site a wonderful source of information and support.
 
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