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. My four rescue dogs help me preserve sanity and give me so much serenity. A virtual scratch behind the ears to your hairy friend, @northumbrian_k
Virtual Christmas thread
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. My four rescue dogs help me preserve sanity and give me so much serenity. A virtual scratch behind the ears to your hairy friend, @northumbrian_k
The Banjoman died early in October and I have found going shopping a little difficult the last few weeks as normally I would be looking for little things like dark chocolate covered ginger and Amaretti biscuits for him. However this is the first time in three years that I haven’t been taking him to hospital at short notice in the last few weeks before Christmas, so I’m grateful for that!
I have also attended several different types of musical events and in nearly every one there has been at least one song that we sang together, from 1920/30’s numbers to Jingle bells and Winter wonderland, many of them he wouldn’t have learnt if we hadn’t been together.
I have also attended several different types of musical events and in nearly every one there has been at least one song that we sang together, from 1920/30’s numbers to Jingle bells and Winter wonderland, many of them he wouldn’t have learnt if we hadn’t been together.
I'm a year and four months post mum's death. Last year I wanted to run away from this house, where I cared for mum for three years. I got on a plane to see friends for Christmas and joined them for their festivities. Three months after mum's death it felt odd, but the large crowd of people was a welcome (and even sometimes cheery) distraction and it was absolutely the right thing to do. Two days after I got back, I got on another plane or two to a much further destination, where I met up with other friends for two weeks over New Year. Again, that was a great distraction. But in hindsight I now see that both escapes delayed my grieving process.
This year I'm at home. A year and four months on, I am coping better with mum's loss. Time was the key healer for me. I've got the tree and decorations up and have happier memories of childhood Christmases spent with my parents. I have even come to terms with the fact that I have no one but distant family (who I don't like that much, were not of much help/support during and after mum's illness, and who I am thankfully drawing away from slowly, politely, but surely). I have come to depend on friends who did support me, and still do, and I have focused on making new friends and contacts, and have fortunately now found a part time job, working for a charity related to mum's type of dementia. Things are looking up.
Tomorrow I will drive the 70 odd miles up to where mum and dad are buried together now. The memorial is back on the grave and I'll see it for the first time. I'm then popping in to see one of my supportive friends, and then onto other friends for Christmas lunch, where we have a shared dementia experience, and where I believe there will be a family member with dementia. Then back home. Hope all will be quiet on the roads!
I wish everyone a peaceful Christmas. I will be forever grateful to the people on DTP whose words were such a source of comfort and support when I was going through my dark times with mum's illness. And I will always be in debt to the AS, who provide such a brilliant and well run resource for those affected by this cruel and challenging condition. Thank you everyone.
This year I'm at home. A year and four months on, I am coping better with mum's loss. Time was the key healer for me. I've got the tree and decorations up and have happier memories of childhood Christmases spent with my parents. I have even come to terms with the fact that I have no one but distant family (who I don't like that much, were not of much help/support during and after mum's illness, and who I am thankfully drawing away from slowly, politely, but surely). I have come to depend on friends who did support me, and still do, and I have focused on making new friends and contacts, and have fortunately now found a part time job, working for a charity related to mum's type of dementia. Things are looking up.
Tomorrow I will drive the 70 odd miles up to where mum and dad are buried together now. The memorial is back on the grave and I'll see it for the first time. I'm then popping in to see one of my supportive friends, and then onto other friends for Christmas lunch, where we have a shared dementia experience, and where I believe there will be a family member with dementia. Then back home. Hope all will be quiet on the roads!
I wish everyone a peaceful Christmas. I will be forever grateful to the people on DTP whose words were such a source of comfort and support when I was going through my dark times with mum's illness. And I will always be in debt to the AS, who provide such a brilliant and well run resource for those affected by this cruel and challenging condition. Thank you everyone.
I'll be celebrating the day tomorrow with my dad at his house with the wider family and then visiting my mum later on who's in a care home due to a non-Alzheimer's condition.
Admittedly I hadn't felt that Chrismassy this year due to personal health concerns and that the whole festivities had started too early but I don't want to spoil to others who do feel it and, although not feeling the season, I do feel to be positive as I'm fed up of things trying to make me feel down.
Merry Christmas to you all, even if you don't feel to celebrate, at least spend the day in a way that makes you feel most comfortable. All the best to everyone who work or use this wonderful forum xx
Admittedly I hadn't felt that Chrismassy this year due to personal health concerns and that the whole festivities had started too early but I don't want to spoil to others who do feel it and, although not feeling the season, I do feel to be positive as I'm fed up of things trying to make me feel down.
Merry Christmas to you all, even if you don't feel to celebrate, at least spend the day in a way that makes you feel most comfortable. All the best to everyone who work or use this wonderful forum xx
We've had our Christmas meal, C is German and they celebrate Christmas Eve more. She was happy to pose for photos with her daughter and enjoyed the traditional ( in our family) Chinese food. Now she is knackered, so I'll let her rest.
All the best to everyone, hope your Christmas is as good as ours has been so far.
All the best to everyone, hope your Christmas is as good as ours has been so far.
Samaritans (116 123), free mobile or landline, operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year.
If you prefer to write down how you’re feeling, or if you’re worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at jo@samaritans.org.
Mum always used to organise family Christmas every year, starting early with a good breakfast for us all, then on with the main event.
When mum was diagnosed with dementia it became a different kind of celebration, a nice quiet one with a good mean and a quiet evening with the TV.
What seems strange when swapping from me helping mum to mum helping me. A unique experience.
This is the first year I have bothered to wrap all of my presents for me. Even the booze. So as I unwrap each one at the time, I can express my gratitude for what I have been given.
Not sure how to spend my time tomorrow. Thought of going for a long walk in the morning, to pass the time and see what thoughts come and go. Maybe swing by some of mum's old haunts. her school, family house places of interest. Then home for a warm Christmas day meal and maybe sleeping through the afternoon.
It seems like such an empty Christmas without mum and dad. It feels like I am just waiting for it to end and then life resumes as normal.
I was thinking this week that it is more about me growing old than losing mum and dad. turning 55 was such an interesting time for me. As well as spending the first 55 years of my life as an overgrown school kid. Then growing up at mum's funeral, Taking over her house - with relief and gratitude for what she has given me.
When mum was diagnosed with dementia it became a different kind of celebration, a nice quiet one with a good mean and a quiet evening with the TV.
What seems strange when swapping from me helping mum to mum helping me. A unique experience.
This is the first year I have bothered to wrap all of my presents for me. Even the booze. So as I unwrap each one at the time, I can express my gratitude for what I have been given.
Not sure how to spend my time tomorrow. Thought of going for a long walk in the morning, to pass the time and see what thoughts come and go. Maybe swing by some of mum's old haunts. her school, family house places of interest. Then home for a warm Christmas day meal and maybe sleeping through the afternoon.
It seems like such an empty Christmas without mum and dad. It feels like I am just waiting for it to end and then life resumes as normal.
I was thinking this week that it is more about me growing old than losing mum and dad. turning 55 was such an interesting time for me. As well as spending the first 55 years of my life as an overgrown school kid. Then growing up at mum's funeral, Taking over her house - with relief and gratitude for what she has given me.
It has been a lovely Christmas holiday season thus far. And today is the day. Merry Christmas. I will have 9 for lunch today. Our daughter, son in law and the two little ones, and my son and our two dear friends Fred and Alix. It will be a lovely day and I have made all the prep so it should go smoothly. I think Nick will be ok. Everyone will help with him and if it gets too much for him, when we are here at home he can escape. Leave and go to the office or the bedroom. To escape the liviliness of the little people.
Merry Christmas TP friends.
Merry Christmas TP friends.
I'm glad that you are managing to come out the other side of the dark tunnel of grief. That gives me some hope that it will get better.
Oh I know, clever little chap but I couldn’t be faffed to delete it and turn it! I don’t know why the website does this. Your remark made me laugh as I juggle him through the day, and have my lunch alone as I foretold before trying to get him to our son’s home.
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