Virtual Christmas thread
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So sorry @Winebuff and anyone else dealing with loss this Christmas.
My Christmas has been very strange. Yesterday we spent with nephew so sister in law could visit my brother in hospital and then today we drove up to see mother in law and two of husbands siblings. MiL has dementia l, but just about manages at home with my brother in law visiting her twice a day. At first she seemed very confused by us all but seems pretty much as usual for her now and we’ve had a nice time.
However on the way here sister in law phoned to say my brother had taken a turn for the worse and is now in intensive care. We intended to go home tomorrow but will now be staying over with them to try and keep things as normal as possible for my nephew. Sister in law and nephew are supposed to be coming to ours for Saturday to take my mum out from her care home for lunch, but I guess that may all be thrown out of the window. Brother is now stable, but obviously it is all touch and go. MiL is dimly aware things aren’t right with him, but don’t want to put a damper on her Christmas, as she still has a lot of empathy despite her confusion.
My Christmas has been very strange. Yesterday we spent with nephew so sister in law could visit my brother in hospital and then today we drove up to see mother in law and two of husbands siblings. MiL has dementia l, but just about manages at home with my brother in law visiting her twice a day. At first she seemed very confused by us all but seems pretty much as usual for her now and we’ve had a nice time.
However on the way here sister in law phoned to say my brother had taken a turn for the worse and is now in intensive care. We intended to go home tomorrow but will now be staying over with them to try and keep things as normal as possible for my nephew. Sister in law and nephew are supposed to be coming to ours for Saturday to take my mum out from her care home for lunch, but I guess that may all be thrown out of the window. Brother is now stable, but obviously it is all touch and go. MiL is dimly aware things aren’t right with him, but don’t want to put a damper on her Christmas, as she still has a lot of empathy despite her confusion.
Foreboding can sometimes turn out differently and the day turned out much better than I had thought, lovely party before lunch and Christmas dinner with our son after all because I just stayed put and wouldn’t take him home when he started asking. He was ‘fine’ as far as it goes. The only fly in the ointment were several phone calls from his sister on my silent mobile. I simply don’t have anything to say to her now that she has said she won’t see her brother again.
I am sorry to hear your brother has had a downturn @Sarasa , I hope he stays stable and gets back out of intensive care soon . X
a warm welcome from me too @Winebuff
such sad news
your wife has found peace and I hope there will be some peace of mind for you in knowing you stood by her
for support, you've done well by joining us here
advice; take your time, allow yourself to feel whatever you feel ... the coming days and weeks will feel surreal ... be kind to yourself ... and whenever harsh memories surface, replace them with those of your wife's smile of old
such sad news
your wife has found peace and I hope there will be some peace of mind for you in knowing you stood by her
for support, you've done well by joining us here
advice; take your time, allow yourself to feel whatever you feel ... the coming days and weeks will feel surreal ... be kind to yourself ... and whenever harsh memories surface, replace them with those of your wife's smile of old
Yesterday I was enjoying Christmas. We had a good meal on Tuesday, the tv programme at night was relaxing and we were both absorbed in the Greenland landscapes. Last night C enjoyed the music of the Magic Flute even if the dialogue lost her. She was a bit muddled at bedtime, and a little overexcited too. Today, she was sitting on her chair, trousers round her knees and throw sort of tangled up in there somehow. No leaks, so hopefully no UTI and little chance of getting it checked today anyway.
Hopefully she is just over stimulated, though that does not happen too often unless we have had a long drive through heavy traffic. I say hopefully, that is still hard for her, but it should mean all she needs is a rest.
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Sorry @Sarasa, I just read you news and hope your brother is better soon.
Hopefully she is just over stimulated, though that does not happen too often unless we have had a long drive through heavy traffic. I say hopefully, that is still hard for her, but it should mean all she needs is a rest.
Edited
Sorry @Sarasa, I just read you news and hope your brother is better soon.
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went to see brother tonight. A lot better than yesterday but still in a high dependency unit, still things are moving in the right direction. On the way down the motorway I got a call from mum’s care home . Fortunately nothing serious, just alerting me to the fact she’s had a fall, but is OK. Don’t think I can do with any more drama this Christmas.
So sorry to hear your news, of course you are in pain and grieving. My heart goes out to you, take one day at a time and reach out to this forum, there is a lot of support here. Take care
After months of trying to be on the end of a phone for mum following her move to a care home, wi5h her ringing me multiple times a day in an anxious state, I have realised that it is a fruitless task. Mum spent Christmas Day with me, I took her back to the care home about 4 pm, everything had gone well although she was quite anxious when I took her back. She rings me at 8.30 pm in tears. She's had a terrible day, really horrid. I said I thought we'd had a nice Xmas lunch together and she had some nice presents. She couldn't remember a thing. It made me realise that no matter how many times I try to calm her down and listen to her when she tells me she has had an awful day, I really can’t make things better for her and I need to be kinder to myself.
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