Update on David

[susiesue]

So sorry to hear of David's downturn - must be something in the air - or the name!!!

My David is now off Aricept and I am now wondering whether that is why he has deteriorated so much lately, but I think it is probably the seizures.

Keep strong and I am thinking of you.

Love to you both.

 

[sad nell]

Jan just caught up with your post, so sorry you have had some distressing visits, hope you found him better this weekend. I can just picture you collecting your eggs and hope you have some help with the making of a run. I do not get on Tp as often these days, but you are both in my thoughts often. love Pam

 

[BeckyJan]

Its over a month since my last update.

The journey is still a rollercoaster with me not knowing what I am facing each day. Today he has been calm, sleepy and loving I told him about a dear friend who is now recovering having lost part of his leg. David responded with such care; how had that happened and how were they coping. OK he went through all this two days ago when another friend told him the news - that time he said 'poor b.....'..

This morning he had been talking to Aunty M - she was doing well (died 7 years ago aged 100!).

His nights can still be disturbed, frequently found with legs dangling over side rails - trying to get out of his car.

My friend went to see him last week. He greeted her with 'Hello B, have you come for your interview? Well you will have to wait there whilst I interview these others'. The rest of the visit was gobbledegook.

So he seems to have very restless days with imagination working overtime, followed by days of sleep.

The coming Christmas will be his third in the NH.

 

[Grannie G]

The coming Christmas will be his third in the NH.

__________________
Food for thought Jan.

It is stressful not knowing what to expect. I`ve only had a couple of not so good visits and they knocked the wind out of my sails. However it`s a daily event for you, and I can imagine the upset following a not so good visit and the relief following a better visit.

I doubt you will ever `get used` to it. xx

 

[Bronwen]

Dea Jan..I do hope you get some better visits soon..roller coaster doesn't even cover the situation does it...highs and lows..peaks and troughs..whatever words we use, it is still the same a very painful experience with some bright spells...thinking of you as always..Be strong as you always are

love
Bronwen x

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Dear Jan,

I think the hardest part about this disease is that there is no standard progression. It's impossible to generalize about any course of it at all. With time, I believe we do build up protective shells, but we still can be caught off-guard and have very heartbreaking days.

Are they making any other changes to David's meds?

 

[sad nell]

Jan have been thinking about you and David today, and how things were and there popped up your post. 3 years Jan that is so sad, I only had 1 year when Trev was on the assesment ward at Christmas, but can vividly remember the pain I felt. Hope you will be with family, sending my love you both Pam.

 

[gigi]

Hello Jan,

It's hard to believe that this will be David's 3rd Christmas in care..and still you have the rollercoaster on a daily basis.

Early days for me..this will be Eric's first Christmas in care and I'm still trying to come to terms with it.

He often wants to "come home" with me when I visit and it's hard to leave him. There are times (like yesterday) when I sit in the car and cry before I feel up to the drive home.

Emotionally I want to put him in my pocket and bring him home and care for him.

Logically, practically, realistically..I acknowledge I can't do it. It wouldn't be fair to either of us.

I think I've said this before on TP..Eric's reality is not reality. It's his way of making sense of what he has to live with, and I imagine it's the same with David.

He's a strong man and I'm sure that the care given by the NH and your visits contribute to his strength.

It's hard and I do feel for you.

Love xx

 

[BeckyJan]

Thank you all as always so supportive

Exactly two years ago I was selecting NHs and coming to terms with realisation that our life as we knew it was over. So I have just spent several hours wrapping pressies etc. and there's an emptiness which only those experienced will understand.

To counter this misery I accept that David is happy and content in the NH and they do care for him exceptionally well. In the circs. I am exceptionally lucky.

Over the Christmas period I will be fine. I shall spend alot of time with David, but family will be here propping me up either with visiting or at home with me.

I can hear David saying 'chin up girl '.

 

[BeckyJan]

I feel a bit sad at leaving David knowing I shall miss sharing the rest of Christmas Eve and early Christmas Day with him. I shall be there by 11.00 am and spend as much time as he needs with me.

Two phrases of his today:

He looked tired and I said 'are you ok?'. 'Ummm' he replied and with hesitation he said 'I've sort of given up'

We had watched the news and 1/2 hr later he said,
'Do we have to pay him anything?' 'Who' I asked.
Reply: 'The Pope, he has been to see me hasn't he?'

For all of us with sadness in our hearts, please lets make the most of Christmas.

 

[Mo_N]

Sending you & David Christmas Hugs Jan.

I hope David is having a good day when you visit him tomorrow.

Many of us are forced to have "different" Christmases this year but I'm hoping that all the good memories of Christmas past will see us all through.

Mo
x

 

[Jo1958]

Jan, hi
More hugs from me for you and David, my sadness is leaking out of my eyes today so thank you for your kind wishes.
Seasonal kind regards from Jo

 

[Helen33]

Dear Jan,

I can feel the sadness Jan. Imagine me there and you know I would put my arm around you Your lovely David will have you Christmas Day no matter what he's like on the actual day. I'll be thinking of you both Jan (and your lovely family) and I can picture David in his home

At least with TP life can't be as desolate as it might be without it We are blessed indeed to have one another.

Love

 

[sue38]

I hope tomorrow isn't too painful Jan. Love to you and David

 

[danny]

Hi Jan,thinking of you both and sincerely hope that your Xmas day goes as peaceful as possible.

Best wishes, Angela.

 

[CraigC]

For all of us with sadness in our hearts, please lets make the most of Christmas.

I agree and think we owe it to those we love. Such a difficult time for so many here, but hope everyone finds some comfort and kindness over the next few days.

Thinking of you Jan
x

 

[gigi]

Thanks for posting, Jan.

And thanks for your words..

For all of us with sadness in our hearts, please lets make the most of Christmas.
[/QUOTE

Hoping you have some good time with David tomorrow.

Love xx

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Jan

I felt the same leaving Dhiren even though we don`t usually make a fuss of Christmas.

The sadness of the illness and the heartache of the enforced separation is heightened during a festive season, when everyone is supposed to be `merry and bright` `full of cheer` `enjoying family`, all the cliches.

We are not the first and won`t be the last, all we can do is make the most of what we have and be thankful we have something.

 

[nocturne]

I do hope that tomorrow will be one of David's better days so that you can spend some enjoyable time together. I will be at Mum's care home and will be thinking of all the other TP members in similar situations and wishing them the best time possible with their loved ones.
Jan

 

[nocturne]

I do hope that tomorrow will be one of David's better days so that you can spend some enjoyable time together. I will be at Mum's care home and will be thinking of all the other TP members in similar situations and wishing them the best time possible with their loved ones.
Jan