Update on David

[DeborahBlythe]

May your anniversary today be blessed, Jan, with more precious moments.

If it isn't, it will not be for lack of good wishes and kind thoughts and not for the lack of your wonderful love for David.
x

 

[Helen33]

Morning Jan,

Hope your day is blessed

 

[nellbelles]

Jan

without pain how could we know the wonder of love,.

Sending you a hug to share with David

 

[Grannie G]

With love your anniversary Jan and David xx

 

[Skye]

I read Bruce's post and realised that whatever happens from now on I can rest reasonably easy knowing I have done my utmost and loved with my heart and soul. End stage dementia and death will not change that.

You're absolutely right, Jan. I worry that I'm not grieving properly. My GP says I've done my grieving already, but he's referred me for counselling anyway, because I think my emotions need to be brought to the surface. It's a strange feeling, I've never been like this following other deaths. But then I've never cared for a loved one through dementia before.

Jan, I understand how you feel, and how Bruce feels. There is sadness there, but so many happy memories.

I still have John's ashes with me. Not deliberately, but I asked for a red acer for John's memorial tree, and they're waiting for the weather to turn to plant it. But I'm glad I have the ashes here, because it feels as if John is part of the new bungalow. Not in a maudlin way, but I think otherwise I'd really have felt I'd abandoned him. And of course his painting are everywhere. I do feel his presence, just not in the way I expected

I hope you can get through this anniversary by focussing on the happy times. David won't be able to remember them with you, but I hope he will feel the closeness.

Of course you want to remember this anniversary; you always will remember them, and hopefully the happy memories will take over from the sad ones.

Love,

 

[sad nell]

Jan sending my love to you and David, hope you can share some cuddles with your man today, 39 years you are beating Trev and I by a year. It is so hard to see our precious husbands suffer this cruel illness, but I feel so lucky to still have Trev & hope to have many more anniversaries, Your love for David is so apparent, I understand it is bitter sweet, and your emotions must be raw today but tonight i shall raise a glass to you both. Congratulations love Pam

 

[susiesue]

Happy Anniversary to you and David today - I am sure it is a very bittersweet day for you.

Love and (((HUGS)))

 

[BeckyJan]

Thank you all
What a day I have had. I rose early to find my computers not working!! I knew electricity was scheduled for cut off today, so went about lighting a fire - took three attempts. Found the clock in lounge had stopped. After my visitor went I rang up the internet server and he was just talking me through the problem when the phone was off. The tree lobbing folk (for Electricity Company) had cut through my telephone wire.

Had to scream at them though they were lovely, screamed at the BT lady who said three days - I emphasised that I was priority (this had been registered in 2006 because of disabled person).

Anyway got back from David to find both phone and computer both working - hurrah.

I did not even remind David about our anniversary. If he understood at all he would be upset not to have remembered, so best left. He was hallucinating alot, called someone a 'dirty s..' (not me). He wanted to write a note to 'that chap', someone who travelled to and from Belgium. Yes a friend who died some 15 years ago who did just that. Alot of other indistinguishable comments.

So just catching up with TP news. Its comforting to know you all care.

 

[Vonny]

Sorry Jan, I'm a bit late with the Happy Anniversary wishes. What a foul day you've had - I hope you are going to have a nice relaxing evening tonight - you deserve it. xxx

 

[ROSEANN]

Dear Jan
Have only just logged on and seen that it is your anniversay.

Just wanted to send you both my love and say I am thinking of you.

Much love Roseann xx

 

[Bronwen]

Hi Jan...Bittersweet is such an appropriate way to describe today for you..I really feel for you and wish today could have been as happy as other anniversaries have been for you both. I am sure you gave David an extra cuddle and |I hope there has been someone today to give you an extra cuddle..if not, there are hundreds of cuddles coming from TP.

love
Bronwen x

 

[Izzy]

Extremely belated best wishes for you both x

 

[Grannie G]

I`m glad you are back on line Jan and have a landline phone. What a day you`ve had . I hope all is calm now and your house is in order.
Love xx

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Dear Jan,
I'm late but want you to know I'm thinking of you both.

It certainly has been an anniversary to remember, hasn't it?

 

[Helen33]

Hello Jan,

Well I suppose all that kerfuffle kept your mind off things

You did it Jan - you got the phone company to reconnect you - brilliant Now you can be with your TP mates and get on with some moderating Go on catch a spammer or two and take it out on them Just joking cos I think you are wonderful How's my boy Oscar?

Love

 

[BeckyJan]

11 days since my last update!!

My visit today has been distressing. David was more agitated than I have witnessed for a while. The car would not start Could I check the petrol? Said yes its ok! Then he was fiddling for the gear stick.

I thought I would play along with this - so I said no need its automatic (yes, I know, auto. still have gear sticks, but...)! Thought for a while then said 'no petrol then'!!

This continued for about an hour so I decided to change tactics. I said you have been quite ill and you are recovering in this Convalescent Home - I will get the AA out to the car!
No, he still looked for the gear lever and kept checking petrol!

Between this I tried to distract him with Thunderball on TV.

Changed again - I said you are in bed, not in a car - because you have not been well.
'Dont be stupid' was the response. 'I am not in bed'.

It was a relief when his tea arrived and I could feed him. He ate happily and I finished it off with a lime/yoghurt jelly which I had taken in.

He slept then and I crept away.

 

[sue38]

I'm sorry today was so distressing Jan.

 

[Izzy]

Sending hugs Jan xx

 

[BeckyJan]

Thanks to you both:

I am feeling low but I know its another down on this darned disease.

 

[larivy]

sorry you had such a bad day Jan sending you a Hug love larivy