Update on David

[ringo]

Hi Jan, I have been taking the same journey as you, with my dad, I spend as much time as I can with him, practically a resident at NH myself.

Thinking of you and David at this difficult time of the dementia journey.

 

[Helen33]

Dear Jan,

I am so glad that you have posted and let us all know what you are experiencing. The pain of your experience practically seeps through the screen. I wonder whether you might be feeling 'hopelessness' as the situation slowly progresses. It seems that there was a sudden downturn in the earlier part of the year and then a very slow continual decline since then.

Sending love and a (HUG) to aid you on your journey through this very difficult time. x

 

[gigi]

Hi Jan,

Thanks for keeping us updated.

This is such a difficult time for you and David.

Love xx

 

[Bronwen]

Hi Jan..I am so sorry and just wanted to send you a big hug. i think I have problems but they seem small in comparison to others...

love
Bronwen x

 

[sad nell]

Jan my lovely friend .I so feel for you both, your description of nothing ness really struck a chord with me, that is exactly how it feels, isnt it,but that occasional half smile keeps me going, hope you get a smile from David tomorrow,my love to you both Pam

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Todays visit was a nothingness - Tomorrow may be different.

Dear Jan, I'm so sorry to read about your visit to David. I do hope that subsequent visits are happier for you both. You must be finding it soul destroying. Do other family members share the visiting? Would that ease things for you a little? Sending you love and hugs, Deborah

 

[BeckyJan]

Hello and thanks to you all for supportive messages.

David remains much the same; he rarely knows I am there with him these days, although the occasional 'you look good' or 'I love you'

The only thing I can successfully do for him now is to feed - he still seems to enjoy food, although he takes it rather like a fledging from mother hen So he is getting sufficent nourishment and drinks reasonably well. He is losing weight but its steady.

So we plod along although I realise he is at high risk of infections, etc.

Deborah: Thanks - one daughter is in Hull (may be moving into Manchester superb soon ) and the other is in Bourneville. They do visit often but obviously not as frequently as a more local family member. I do have good friends who will give me a break at least once a week.

 

[Loopiloo]

David remains much the same; he rarely knows I am there with him these days, although the occasional 'you look good' or 'I love you'

So we plod along although I realise he is at high risk of infections, etc.

Hello Jan. I fist read your thread soon after I joined TP on 10 May, then it stopped. Now I have just caught up with it since you recently wrote again.

What difficult months for you and David, my heart goes out to you. What can you do but plod along, but so very difficult. Poignant for you to hear those occasional precious words.

My thoughts are with you.

Loo xx

 

[BeckyJan]

Another update!
Strange old dementia world. Over the past two weeks David has shown more interest in things around him. He has disliked television most of his life but now he is actually watching. Yesterday he was reading out the menus of some cooking programme!

He is now making a good show of feeding himself, albeit pureed food and with occasional assistance holding cutlery etc.

He has a better colour and looks brighter The main concern now is aspiration as he does cough alot following food and drink (all pureed or thickened). He is still confused and today thought I was his daughter and his Mother was pottering around in the kitchen well she would only be 112 yrs old

 

[connie]

Good news.

Sounds as if you are both having a slighty better few days Jan.

Thinking of you. Stay strong.

 

[lin1]

You have had a long rough ride, Im glad to hear David has improved a little.

Please dont forget to look after yourself

 

[Izzy]

Good news Jan x

 

[nellbelles]

Jan

Pleased that things are a bit better with David

 

[sad nell]

Jan that is such good news to hear, i never will fathom this illness, but any upturn is wonderful love Pam

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Dear Jan I'm glad to hear the news in your post today.

I suppose if David thinks his mother is pottering around, he must be feeling a strong sense of security. That is something to be grateful for, even if he is wide of the mark in his interpretation. Something or somebody is making him feel OK: no mean achievement. I am sure your love and concern plays the largest part.
Love Deborah x

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Jan

It is good news David seems to have rallied, but very difficult for you not to know what you will find with each visit.
Rollercoaster. Yoyo. A bit of stability would be nice.
Love xx

 

[Helen33]

Dear Jan,

It sounds marvellous for David as he seems happy and content with the tv and the idea that his daughter and mother were around

My thought also go to you and know that all this will invoke very mixed feelings as you hold everything together through the highs and lows.

I think you are remarkable but I also know that you feel you have no choice

Love

 

[Nan2seven]

Dear Jan,

I am pleased to see that David has rallied a little and is taking more interest in his surroundings and even the TV. Brian frequently takes me for his mother or his sister and I tell myself it is good that he is feeling he is "at home" (i.e. his childhood home) and secure. It sounds as though David is the same. But it is bittersweet for you, of course, because in his own mind he is probably too young to have yet met you.

I hope there are also times when he does recognise you and you can enjoy just being with each other. As those times occur further and further apart, they become more and more precious, don't they.

Thinking of you and sending love, Nan XXX

 

[Bronwen]

Dear Jan..I am so pleased David has rallied a bit..what a roller coaster for you...sending you my love and a big hug and remember that it is all the love and caring you have shown for David that has helped him improve a little. It is so good that we can all help each other with this awful disease.

love
Bronwen x

 

[BeckyJan]

Thank you all for your support, as always

I had a day off today (played golf in the rain with lovely friends ). A friend visited for me and I have just had the usual report!

She said he was fine, made some ridiculous conversation but he was trying. She had not mentioned me at all, but he said 'where did you say Jan was today?' She told him I would be getting wet playing golf and his eyes went to ceiling - as if to say what a fool!

For months and months there has been no recognition of my life or our girls - we are finding it unbelievable.