Hi. I’ve been following the forum for a while as I suspect we are at the start of our dementia journey. Sorry in advance for a rambling introduction, but there is a lot to cover. I’ll try and keep it brief.
My MiL and FiL (both in their 80s) have mobility issues and both refuse any Dr or medical treatment.
FiL had a stroke about 18months ago and spent 8 weeks in hospital recovering - he tried to discharge himself most days. He has retained his speech but walking/shuffling is a challenge. His memory is patchy and he experiences confusion and disorientation. But is still “there” and so you can have a laugh with him and he engages.
MiL is, by contrast, in complete denial about their health. “He is fine”…. “You don’t need to interfere!”
Arthritis and what I can only describe as self-neglect means she really needs a double hip and single knee replacement - but has refused for the past 15+ years. Anything more than a few metres is now too much. Most of her day 7+ hours is sat in the kitchen. Severe cataracts add to the mix and she insists on calling herself “carer in chief”.
I love that they are so close and want to remain living independently, but we are noticing more forgetfulness in my MiL, mixing/forgetting their medication, cancelling home help, finding excuses not to go out., etc. Conversations that are completely unrelated to the present, the odd auditory hallucination here and there, a bit of incontinence, refusing to eat or at least eating very little, cannot remember how to use the oven or most of the kitchen equipment ….she’s possibly lost 40kg since FiLs stroke.
I’m not really sure what to say or where to start.
We are shopping for them three times a week, organise all bills and affairs, have arranged for nurse visits twice a week and home help (privately)….I don’t know what else to do to keep them safe? How much do we try and get them to eat more? I worry they are both going to fade to nothing.
Is this just the cruelty of aging or are we in fact at the start of our dementia journey?
God forbid I suggested that there might be a problem with memory….I wouldn’t make it out the house alive….
If you’ve made it to the end of this. Thank you.
It feels a lot better just to get this out my own head.
My MiL and FiL (both in their 80s) have mobility issues and both refuse any Dr or medical treatment.
FiL had a stroke about 18months ago and spent 8 weeks in hospital recovering - he tried to discharge himself most days. He has retained his speech but walking/shuffling is a challenge. His memory is patchy and he experiences confusion and disorientation. But is still “there” and so you can have a laugh with him and he engages.
MiL is, by contrast, in complete denial about their health. “He is fine”…. “You don’t need to interfere!”
Arthritis and what I can only describe as self-neglect means she really needs a double hip and single knee replacement - but has refused for the past 15+ years. Anything more than a few metres is now too much. Most of her day 7+ hours is sat in the kitchen. Severe cataracts add to the mix and she insists on calling herself “carer in chief”.
I love that they are so close and want to remain living independently, but we are noticing more forgetfulness in my MiL, mixing/forgetting their medication, cancelling home help, finding excuses not to go out., etc. Conversations that are completely unrelated to the present, the odd auditory hallucination here and there, a bit of incontinence, refusing to eat or at least eating very little, cannot remember how to use the oven or most of the kitchen equipment ….she’s possibly lost 40kg since FiLs stroke.
I’m not really sure what to say or where to start.
We are shopping for them three times a week, organise all bills and affairs, have arranged for nurse visits twice a week and home help (privately)….I don’t know what else to do to keep them safe? How much do we try and get them to eat more? I worry they are both going to fade to nothing.
Is this just the cruelty of aging or are we in fact at the start of our dementia journey?
God forbid I suggested that there might be a problem with memory….I wouldn’t make it out the house alive….
If you’ve made it to the end of this. Thank you.
It feels a lot better just to get this out my own head.
